Hi There...

[Guest Matthew-L]

hi everyone, my names matthew. 17 yr old F2M.

born in ohio, lived in winnipeg(canada) 'til i was 12, and currently living in LA....um

came out when i was 10, went back in the closet 'til i was 12, came out again...first time i came out everybody freaked out and my folks tried to force me to see a psychotherapist...hence my voyage back to the closet.

i've been on T since i was 13 (not sure if that's legal) had my breasts removed when i was 15 (also probably not legal )

i thought i'd only have to come out twice but then my adoptive folks died and i was sent to live with my 'real' family.

the bio-folks kinda hate me...i was born when they were my age and i'm only ever referred to as their "monumental mistake"...charming i know.

i live with my uncle in the calabasas area of california. he's very accepting and seems to like me more than my folks.

umm....my mom's family doesn't know i exist and my dad's family thinks i'm my uncle's son(who died) so i'm rarely invited to family events and i'm used to hiding...in two ways.

on a lighter note, i'm a big sports fan, my current obsession is the USC trojans football team...i've got weird tastes in music, i like everything from metallica to michael buble...hmm...i do believe that's it....sorry if that was longish.

Matthew

[Guest Drew]

hi Matthew, welcome to the forums your parents sound harsh, calling you their monumental mistake...charming indeed. your family doesn't even know you exsist?! wow! and i thought my family was bad.

anyways, nice to have you here

Drew

[MaryEllen]

Hi Matthew-L,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. It's said that you can't pick your parents but you can pick your friends. You're among friends here.

MaryEllen

[Guest brandt]

hey dude,

nice to see ya join on here. i want to ask how did you go through you're transition so early?

[Guest Mani]

welcome to the playground!

[Guest Matthew-L]

hey dude,

nice to see ya join on here. i want to ask how did you go through you're transition so early?

i'm not really sure.

i went to a doctor in winnipeg who basically just gave me a prescription.

i had a letter from a psychologist that said that i NEEDED it or i would do myself harm

which was true...

the doctor just said it was better i started early

although i'm not sure if he put my real age on the form...

anyways, everyone thank you for the welcomes you have a wonderful online community here and i'm very happy to be a part of it

Matthew

[Guest brandt]

oh i see. well at least it happened early and you didn't harm yourself. you are a pretty lucky guy.

[Guest Matthew-L]

oh i see. well at least it happened early and you didn't harm yourself. you are a pretty lucky guy.

yeah, i got really lucky there.

although i do know of some doctors in california who will treat you legally earlier

[Guest brandt]

oh really? well i'm 15 turning 16. so idk. but i don't live too far from LA. just probably i think an hour and a half to 2 hours. so you live in LA right?

[Guest Matthew-L]

oh really? well i'm 15 turning 16. so idk. but i don't live too far from LA. just probably i think an hour and a half to 2 hours. so you live in LA right?

if you're 15-16 getting hormones should be no problem

if you have parental consent

1-2 hours isn't long at all to drive

yeah i live just on the outskirts of LA

it has a different name but it's basically LA

[Guest brandt]

oh where do you actually live? and well parent consent will be hard to get. and it depends because i'm really small so i don't know if i get approved and i still need to go and get a gender therapist instead of a priest as a therapist.

[Guest Matthew-L]

oh where do you actually live? and well parent consent will be hard to get. and it depends because i'm really small so i don't know if i get approved and i still need to go and get a gender therapist instead of a priest as a therapist.

i don't think size should affect your eligibility for hormones

while priests can be helpful a gender therapist is what you really need

i think they do it at the LA LGBT center either for free or at a reduced price for youth

i don't think you need parental consent for that

that would probably help alot

and in my experience some doctors will prescribe hormones without consent if the psych says that they are neccesary for your psychological well-being...although you shouldn't quote me on that as i'm not 100% percent sure

i live in calabasas which is in LA county...so in my opinion it's LA

[Guest brandt]

yea well the thing is i don't have a ride to go down there. and i doubt my mom would let me . but i'll see what i can do. my mom doesnt trust me anymore because of bad decisions on doing things on my own. altho its helped me. it has lost my mother's trust. and all i need to do is gain it back. but thanks for the info. its really helpful. because i want to at least get hormones when i'm turning 16 but i know money is part of the problem and we don't have the money. but maybe a gender therapist would be a good idea and knowin that they give it for free or reduced price would help a lot. so i'll do my research and convince my mom to take me down there at least twice a month if not more .

oh and maybe one day we can meet up. that would be awesome. you are out of high school already or no?

[Guest Just_Call_Me_Nick]

Just wanted to say hello and welcome to the forum!

Nick~

[gennee]

Hi Matthew and welcome. You seem to have adjusted well considering your upbringing. Hope all the best. USC has a great team.

Gennee

[Guest Matthew-L]

yea well the thing is i don't have a ride to go down there. and i doubt my mom would let me . but i'll see what i can do. my mom doesnt trust me anymore because of bad decisions on doing things on my own. altho its helped me. it has lost my mother's trust. and all i need to do is gain it back. but thanks for the info. its really helpful. because i want to at least get hormones when i'm turning 16 but i know money is part of the problem and we don't have the money. but maybe a gender therapist would be a good idea and knowin that they give it for free or reduced price would help a lot. so i'll do my research and convince my mom to take me down there at least twice a month if not more .

oh and maybe one day we can meet up. that would be awesome. you are out of high school already or no?

yeah, if you can get your mom's trust back she'd probably be less hesitant to give a ride or something like that

i've seen your picture and you look like you pass pretty well even without T

i know plenty of bio guys your age who look much girlier than you

money was a big issue for me when i first moved to california and getting therapy at a reduced price was a big help

i'm not quite out of high school yet

i graduate this year...if i pass

but then next year i'm being shipped off to college in ohio for 4 years

it would be cool if we could meet up though

Hi Matthew and welcome. You seem to have adjusted well considering your upbringing. Hope all the best. USC has a great team.

Gennee

USC does have a great team!

my uncle got me obsessed

again, everybody thanks for the welcomes

Matthew

[Guest brandt]

yeah, if you can get your mom's trust back she'd probably be less hesitant to give a ride or something like that

i've seen your picture and you look like you pass pretty well even without T

i know plenty of bio guys your age who look much girlier than you

money was a big issue for me when i first moved to california and getting therapy at a reduced price was a big help

i'm not quite out of high school yet

i graduate this year...if i pass

but then next year i'm being shipped off to college in ohio for 4 years

it would be cool if we could meet up though

yea well it's hard because she doesn't even drive and i'm trying to get my permit and license before next school year.

and thanks i've worked hard trying to pass as a guy. but i pass only as a pre pubescent boy but eh its better than anything else. lol

even when i don't try to pass i still get mistaken as a male and it's awesome. but i really want the T because then i could become more masculine and finally get some girls my age lol.

and so you must be a senior huh?

ohio eh? big difference from cali.

well good luck on that

[Guest Matthew-L]

yea well it's hard because she doesn't even drive and i'm trying to get my permit and license before next school year.

and thanks i've worked hard trying to pass as a guy. but i pass only as a pre pubescent boy but eh its better than anything else. lol

even when i don't try to pass i still get mistaken as a male and it's awesome. but i really want the T because then i could become more masculine and finally get some girls my age lol.

and so you must be a senior huh?

ohio eh? big difference from cali.

well good luck on that

yeah, life's much easier once you can drive

keep in mind that at 15 some guys still are pre-pubescent

also some girls like guys who look younger

learn to work the cute and innocent thing

yeah, i'm a senior this year

ohio is much different

colder, not so sunny all the time

it's technically my home state

seeing as i was born there

it's the only place i got accepted so it's where i'm going

atleast i can get away from my parents...maybe make a surprise appearance at my grandparent's place ....

Matthew

[Guest brandt]

yeah, life's much easier once you can drive

keep in mind that at 15 some guys still are pre-pubescent

also some girls like guys who look younger

learn to work the cute and innocent thing

yeah, i'm a senior this year

ohio is much different

colder, not so sunny all the time

it's technically my home state

seeing as i was born there

it's the only place i got accepted so it's where i'm going

atleast i can get away from my parents...maybe make a surprise appearance at my grandparent's place ....

Matthew

yea . you know how many times i have to ask to get a ride for so many different people? its like 20 different people in like 2 different days. a different one riding to the place i wanna go then another one for a ride back home lol. so yea i cant wait til i drive. a lot of my friends dont even have a license or a permit and they drive whenever and they don't ever get caught. as for me i look young so i cant pass as a driver haha. id be pulled over in a second that i drive.

and yea i know. i already do work the cute and innocent. but when i do. i get 12 or 13 year olds lol. and i'm like uh nvm haha. i mean seriously its like dating one of my friend's sister when i could just date my friend lol. but eh thats life for me. i gotta live with it haha. at least i pass and thats all that matters to me. i just wanna stop worring about wearin a binder and stuff.

hmm ohio shouldn't be a bad place tho. i wanna see how it is in all 50 states. cuz i know not every where is like california. i've only lived in 2 places. germany and california. and that right there is a big difference.

so did you apply to other schools?

[Guest Matthew-L]

as for me i look young so i cant pass as a driver haha. id be pulled over in a second that i drive.

and yea i know. i already do work the cute and innocent. but when i do. i get 12 or 13 year olds lol. and i'm like uh nvm haha. i mean seriously its like dating one of my friend's sister when i could just date my friend lol. but eh thats life for me. i gotta live with it haha. at least i pass and thats all that matters to me. i just wanna stop worring about wearin a binder and stuff.

hmm ohio shouldn't be a bad place tho. i wanna see how it is in all 50 states. cuz i know not every where is like california. i've only lived in 2 places. germany and california. and that right there is a big difference.

so did you apply to other schools?

yeah, 12-13 olds are a little young if you're 16

people might think it's creepy

ohio shouldn't be too bad

it's just that i have family there....

and they don't really like me...

or know i exist

i applied to a few other schools

mostly small places

but the place i'm going has a good reputation in the fields i'm into

and loads of my family are alumni

sooo yeah, not entirely my choice

you lived in germany?

that would be pretty cool

what was it like there?

[Guest brandt]

yeah, 12-13 olds are a little young if you're 16

people might think it's creepy

ohio shouldn't be too bad

it's just that i have family there....

and they don't really like me...

or know i exist

i applied to a few other schools

mostly small places

but the place i'm going has a good reputation in the fields i'm into

and loads of my family are alumni

sooo yeah, not entirely my choice

you lived in germany?

that would be pretty cool

what was it like there?

yea lol i dont want to have a bad rep with some little 12 or 13 year old haha

well sounds okay in ohio. when i think of ohio i think of small towns i'm guessing.

yea i lived in germany.

for about 13 years.

my dad was in the military and was stationed over seas for over 20 years. and he retired about a 3 years ago. but he still works with the military as a civilian.

its pretty cool. i had once thought of going onto my dads foot steps but the army isnt right for me.

i love music and it's my passion but my mother wants me to be a doctor. so its like i have to go to a real good college like the big universities such as UC Berkley or UCSD. those types of medical school. and now i'm really not too sure. so yeah. its confusing.

but any way. germany is way different. i love it over there and if i could i would live there for the rest of my life because its soo peaceful. well where i lived it was. and i was enclosed in military security so i felt very safe. but yea. germany is a really nice place. i think it's better than here. thats for sure.