Being Alone

[Guest Ripley82]

I am trying to get some ideas on how to cope with being alone. I have never really been alone in my life. I have always had someone there! I mean i have always had at least one friend, but, i always had some one who loved me. Someone I was with. I have not had that for the past year and it is driving me insane. I can not do anything! The biggest problem that I have is that I can not sleep alone anymore. I can fall asleep for about 20 min before I am up again and I cant live like this. I have tried sleeping pills but have not had any luck, they just make me groggy. I was wondering if anyone had any advice?

[Guest RachaelAnn]

I might be able to help. I've been alone all my life, so I know how to get by with out anyone.

The best way to get by is to not think about it. Keep yourself busy. Don't let yourself slow down. That way when you go to bed you will be too tired both physically and mentally to stay awake. Keep this up until you get used to it, then being alone won't bother you anymore.

Rachael

[Guest Opal]

I agree with what Rachael just said.

Are you active on chat? There is usually someone there if you don't have someone to PM on the forum side.

Hugs,

Opal

[Guest Evan_J]

Be very honest with yourself and disect what it is you are actually yearning for and then learn to provide that to yourself. Figure out why you are not satisfied in your own company. And ultimately get to be your favorite companion.

It's "healthy" to interact with other people , for that reason (so you don't get deluded with your just your input and takes on things) we humans should maintaintain interaction. But, in the best case scenario, your most enjoyable company-configuration should be being with you.

[Flint]

Be very honest with yourself and disect what it is you are actually yearning for and then learn to provide that to yourself. Figure out why you are not satisfied in your own company. And ultimately get to be your favorite companion.

It's "healthy" to interact with other people , for that reason (so you don't get deluded with your just your input and takes on things) we humans should maintaintain interaction. But, in the best case scenario, your most enjoyable company-configuration should be being with you.

What he said.

Often if someone is constantly needing someone else and can't be satisfied with their own company there is some kinda unfulfilled space that you feel you can't do yourself.

Sometimes it's about wanting a little bit of affection. I guess. We all yearn for that. Even people who are 'loners' probably yearn it to some extent. Sometimes though it's just nice to dream about those things. Knowing that you don't actually have to worry about anyone else.

[Guest chngnwnd]

Sometimes it just takes time to adjust to sleeping alone. It was hard for me, too. Fortunately, I have a lap dog to cuddle when I can't sleep - he loves hugs... Anyway, it is an adjustment, when you are not used to sleeping alone it feels mighty odd. I started sleeping in the middle of the bed until I got used to it - that way I didn't feel like someone should be lying next to me.

hugs

Bobbie

[Guest Nicolegirl]

Im really sorry your lonely. Its one of the worst feelings in the world. One of the things someone can do when there feeling depressed or lonely is to try to put the needs of others before there own. What i mean by that is, try to volunteer or raise money for a good cause. It helps you feel better about yourself, stops you from being alone because your spending time with other people and it helps you to stop thinking about the problems in your life.

[Guest Ripley82]

Thank you all for your wonderful ideas. I also love helping people so I will definitely be doing a lot more of that!! Thanks again!!!

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Ripley,

You have been given a lot of realy good advice. I will add this hon... time alone is time to reflect. You are a complete person yourself and you do not need others to complete you. Being alone is only a temporary phase in your life. Your life is constantly evolving, and when it is time, you will not feel alone. You do have friends here at Laura's, and I would suspect that you have people who would really like to get to know you better in your real life. Allow involvement with other people.

Love is all around you

Love

Brenda

[Guest ricka]

Sweetie--I will add to what Brenda said. I found that as I transitioned and became the woman that I always was inside I felt complete and the loneliness I felt vanished. I know a lot of single ciswomen who do just fine living alone and i think it is really part of a woman's nature to be able to adjust and feel content living alone. I do think it is important to have a good social support system but I never feel unhappy going home. Before I began living as a woman that was not the case.

hugs, Ricka