Wow

[Guest Cowboy]

Ok, well, all my life ive known i was trans.

It wasnt til 5 or so years ago that i knew it was an actual medical issue, and there were surgeries and hormones that one can take to transition into the "right" gender.

But, it wasnt til i got the internet, and was able to research on my own what transsexualism and transgendered was.

So as i did, and continue to do my research, i become increasingly CONFUSED.

Im not sure what the proper term is for them, (IE: Sexual Orientation, gender identity) but im confused about certain things.

I understand what andro, Trans, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, are. But things like pansexual (which i just googled) are new to me. In a way, i kinda feel bad like i dont know everything i should know, but the other part of me thinks it really shouldnt be of any importance to me what they are or mean, as long as i know what and who i am. Ive never really thought of myself as female, so to me im just a regular ol guy who likes a good lookin girl with a head on her shoulders (brains and beauty fellas, remember that ). But im still confused and lost on certain things. Maybe if i have somewhat of an understanding of all those confusing terms ill understand myself better. Im really not sure. Like i said in my intro post, im sorta new to some aspects of the LBGT communtiy. Im really not sure if i should even worry about, as long as i know who i am, but in a way i feel like i should know.

Things im having trouble understanding, genderqueer, intersex (although i think i have an understanding of that), queer, third gender, asexual, autosexual, more or less the ones that arent so talked about.

(sorry if this post doesnt belong here, i tried to post it in the most related forum)

[Guest Donna Jean]

Honey......

You seem to have your head screwed on straight and know where you're coming from...

A lot of the terms and "labels" that you are talking about are things that most of us never have to deal with...

Oh, I guess that it would be nice in the big picture if you understood them all, but let me tell you a little secret....

I don't understand them all either....

many of us don't..

Lots of times someone posts something here and before I can put up the post I have to Google what they are talking about to see if it's ok....lol

Our community is very diverse with a lot of labels and sub-labels....

I wouldn't let it get to you...

Lots of us learn as we go.....

Huggs

Donna Jean

[JJ]

The really confusing thing is that Drs Psychiatrists, psychologists and the Trans community all use those terms in different ways and mean different things.

I too want to put my identity in a box and label it. Maybe more of a guy thing. Problem is no one agrees on the labels and no one has even decided how many boxes there are. so for now I just try to accept that I ave a man's brain in a woman's body and go from tere.

it's almost funny to remember when i thougt there were binary genders and sexual orientations-with bi thrown in as a controversial 3rd orientation.

It would certainly help research if everyone could agree on the same terms.

And if many of us exactly fit tem instead of this confusing spectrum.

[Carolyn Marie]

Cowboy, I think its a natural and understandable human trait to want to put oneself into a neat box with a neat little label on it. Everyone wants to have an "identity" and the usual way to do that is to put a label on it.

So we grow up being liberals or conservatives, Democrats or Republicans, men or women, straight or gay, American League or National League, nerds or jocks, blah, blah, blah.

Honestly, what does it matter? You are who you are, you feel like you feel, you like who you like. What matters is being comfortable in your own skin. The label that comes with the skin doesn't matter a hoot.

Remember those tags that used to come with furniture: "Do not remove this tag under penalty of law." There are no Tag Police. You can indeed cut them off. They really won't come to get you.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Donna Jean]

Remember those tags that used to come with furniture: "Do not remove this tag under penalty of law." There are no Tag Police. You can indeed cut them off. They really won't come to get you.

Carolyn Marie

You mean that I've been hiding that pillow all these years for nothin'?

dang.......

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I guess a general answer would be - like you said, only worry about terms that apply, what you suspect you are (or have had the proper gender trained therapist tell you so). Those are the words count.

The problem is the words ( which are usually really labels) vary greatly by whomever gives a definition - and sometimes there is a lot of overlap. Add to that the fact some terms are obsolete. Transvestite is obsolete - hermaphodite is obsolete.

Consider this:

You feel you are a certain gender and your body seems to show something else? That is the most common condition here at Laura's. Some call it transsexualism some call it transgenderism, both terms are similar but most people say they are vastly different - so what to do? Basically say you are gender dysphoric and that is a safe general term.

But gender dysphoric can cover other areas as well. For example, cross dressers are usually included in this definition if there are strong feelings of gender duplicity.

Some people consider themselves parts of both geneders, OR consider themselves as neither gender - and that is where many of those other names seem to come in.

Intersexed is usually considered a medical condition, and is defined different ways. Gender dysphoria usually covers some of these people if they seem to have gender identity problems, but many don't. Some intersexed people now consider the term obsolete.

Many of the terms seemto be 'political statements.' I have never quite understood GENDERQUEER, for example. It seem confrontational, somehow.

Finally, there are some people who seem to be gender dysphoric but are probably not. We transpeople and crossdressers are often confused with the terms, drag queens, female impersonators, crossdressers and the like. Those terms define something completely different.

You may notice all the replies "dance around" giving definitions. This is because there is usually no agreement for them. So like you said - it is best to stay within the region of definitions that seem to apply to you.

I hope this helps - The Laura's Playground Homepage directs you to many definitions, so you may want to check there. Its a personal opinion, but Wikipedia is useless with this terminolgy - inaccurate and opinionated.

Me? I am never inaccurate, or opinionated - GRIN

Lizzy

[Guest Hildagard]

Me? I am never inaccurate, or opinionated - GRIN

Lizzy

Its true

-drools like a zombie-

[Guest Cowboy]

Seems like everyone pretty much agrees that i shouldnt be concerned about it unless it applies to me.

I guess its not to much i wanna put a label on it, but id just like to have more of an understanding of all the terms.

I hope this helps - The Laura's Playground Homepage directs you to many definitions, so you may want to check there. Its a personal opinion, but Wikipedia is useless with this terminolgy - inaccurate and opinionated.

and that helped a lot Lizzy. thank you.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Ok, well, all my life ive known i was trans.

It wasnt til 5 or so years ago that i knew it was an actual medical issue, and there were surgeries and hormones that one can take to transition into the "right" gender.

But, it wasnt til i got the internet, and was able to research on my own what transsexualism and transgendered was.

So as i did, and continue to do my research, i become increasingly CONFUSED.

Im not sure what the proper term is for them, (IE: Sexual Orientation, gender identity) but im confused about certain things.

I understand what andro, Trans, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, are. But things like pansexual (which i just googled) are new to me. In a way, i kinda feel bad like i dont know everything i should know, but the other part of me thinks it really shouldnt be of any importance to me what they are or mean, as long as i know what and who i am. Ive never really thought of myself as female, so to me im just a regular ol guy who likes a good lookin girl with a head on her shoulders (brains and beauty fellas, remember that ). But im still confused and lost on certain things. Maybe if i have somewhat of an understanding of all those confusing terms ill understand myself better. Im really not sure. Like i said in my intro post, im sorta new to some aspects of the LBGT communtiy. Im really not sure if i should even worry about, as long as i know who i am, but in a way i feel like i should know.

Things im having trouble understanding, genderqueer, intersex (although i think i have an understanding of that), queer, third gender, asexual, autosexual, more or less the ones that arent so talked about.

(sorry if this post doesnt belong here, i tried to post it in the most related forum)

I don't fully understand them all myself, but understanding and acceptance are two different things. Just because I don't fully understand something doesn't give me the right to be unaccepting of it (same thing with non-trans people trying to understand transsexualism.) I think as long as someone comes to you and says for instance "I'm autosexual", if you don't quite get what that means (neither do I, actually), kindly ask what it means and don't sound ignorant about it. Ignorance is more about not accepting something prematurely, than about actually not getting it. Does that make sense at all? Like, ignorance would be "oh, I don't know what in the hell that is, so I'm just gonna say it's weird." lol. So I think as long as you aren't knocking people down and being unaccepting just because you don't know what something means, you're fine. For instance someone told me recently that he is pansexual homoromantic asexual. I didn't quote understand what that meant so I asked him to please explain and then I was like oh okay, I'm glad you've figured yourself out. Just don't judge someone just because you don't understand something.

Being trans, being unaccepting of these kinds of things is very hypocritical. But not understanding all the terms does not mean you're a hypocrite

And yes, brains and beauty are both important. So is personality.