Is It Normal?

[Guest Seth]

So, before I fully came to accept myself for who I was, I'd be depressed all the time because I thought I was a freak of nature.

Now, the only time I get depressed is when I think about the fact that I can't have kids.

I mean, sure, I can father the kids my wife has, but they won't be MINE, ya know?

And freezing eggs or whatever before, I'd want the kid to have the same DNA as both his/her parents.

Anyone else feel like this, ever?

[Guest Drew]

Anyone else feel like this, ever?

constantly, all the time. it's the only thing that i really hate about my situation. i know that if i were to be with a trans-woman it would be possible to have biological kids that were mine and hers but i'm so in love with my biologically female girlfriend that i can't even fathom that situation. the thing that bugs me the most is that men who are murderers or criminals or just bad people can have kids so easily...not even on purpose, but me and other perfectly capable trans-fathers don't have that ability...it sucks, i agree with you.

Drew

[Guest KellyGirl]

it's the one thing that makes me hate the situation...I'd accept it so easily (as I'm still pre-op undiagnosed...etc.) but....I always wanted kids.

[Guest JayJaye]

I guess that's the one advantage to me being older -- I've played a straight woman and already have my kids. On the other hand, now I have to come out and tell them that mom is really a man...I guess that's easier than never having them though.

Would a compromise be to freeze your eggs and have two kids, one with your wife's eggs and one with yours? And use the same sperm donor? It's not the same, I agree, but kind of close.

I feel for you guys.

Jay

[Guest Drew]

Would a compromise be to freeze your eggs and have two kids, one with your wife's eggs and one with yours? And use the same sperm donor? It's not the same, I agree, but kind of close.

Jay

i think that's an excellent idea, no it's not the same but really unless you're a gay transman or a straight transman and a transwoman you can't have biological kids that are both your's and your partner's. it sucks but it's true. very good idea Jay i like it.

Drew

[Guest brandt]

yeah i felt like this all the time. i was disgusted of knowing that i had to carry the baby if i wanted to have a baby. and i would NEVER EVER in my lifetime do that. i do want children in the near future but knowing that i can only adopt really depresses me. i've always just dreamed of having my own child and being the daddy, not the mother. my dream was to do all this awesome stuff my dad never got to do with me with my children. i mean yeah sure i could adopt but they still aren't mine. and i would want it to be mine and my wife's. and the sad thing is if i marry a straight women or what not i can't give her what she wants. and usually they want children and to make baby's and i can't do that. but hey thats the way it goes. i would probably think that i could just take my brother's sprem since he is the closest to stuff but i don't know what he would give my child and it would be HIS and just the fact that it would be his it just disgusts me because its like my wife and him just yea.. not cool lol.

[Guest Seth]

It just bothers me a little cuz it'd be some other guys sperm.

If it had to be another guys, I'd want to be my best friend's.

[Guest raydub]

The first night I talked with my s/o about being trans I just kinda laid there in a tiny ball and cried cause I couldnt understand how I could want to have kids so badly but be a guy. It was all very painful and confusing. She had to call my transdad (a transman i refer to as dad) on the other side of the country to talk to me and calm me down.

I forgot my point... oh yeah...I can relate.

Ray

[Guest Tay-Tay]

ya i feel like that too i want to have kids so bad and if they can transplant a heart or lung y cant they do somthing so u can have kids u know

[Guest Seth]

ya i feel like that too i want to have kids so bad and if they can transplant a heart or lung y cant they do somthing so u can have kids u know

EXACTLY! I mean, they have all this new technology in the world and it's just frustrating.

Maybe, one day, they'll be able to clone penises, testicles, all that stuff and put it your body so you can ejaculate and stuff. Remove all the girl stuff, we want boy stuff!

[Guest Snow Angel]

Well, since we're already cloning, maybe someday they'll be able to make blank eggs, and write the DNA from a skin sample of both parents onto it. Something strange and sci-fi like that. You never know.

[Guest harvester52]

I feel like that sometimes because I just want to be the average dad. I don't want my kids to go to school and say, "Guess what, teacher! My daddy used to be my mommy!" I think that's part of the reason I have avoided intimate relationships, and probably will until I've completely transitioned.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I feel like that sometimes because I just want to be the average dad. I don't want my kids to go to school and say, "Guess what, teacher! My daddy used to be my mommy!" I think that's part of the reason I have avoided intimate relationships, and probably will until I've completely transitioned.

I feel the same way. I think I'd be a pretty awesome, fun dad...but a really crappy mom. From where I'm standing, intimate relationships are a double-edged sword. On one hand, I wish I had avoided them because it would make things so much easier now if I were unattached. On the other hand, intimate relationships are deeply rewarding in many ways. All three of the long term relationships I've been involved in have had their good points and I've grown as a person through those relationships. Except for a couple of things, I think I'm a pretty well-adjusted adult. I think I'd have a hard time convincing a therapist of that if I'd never had any kind of intimate relationship by my age.

My hope is also on genetic engineering. They can already clone animals, though the science is still undeveloped and impractical. I think at some point they'll be able to use a variant of cloning to help people like us have genetic children.

[Guest Ryles_D]

Nope. I don't want kids. IF I decided to get kids, I'd adopt. I don't get all you crazies, wanting biological kids. I swear, aren't we populated enough?

Of course, I'd be the parent that's disappointed by a cisgendered, hetero/homosexual. I'd give that poor kid a complex.

[Guest Seth]

Well, since we're already cloning, maybe someday they'll be able to make blank eggs, and write the DNA from a skin sample of both parents onto it. Something strange and sci-fi like that. You never know.

That'd be really awesome.

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

I would never want a biological child. There are far too many desperate children in need of families in orphanages for me to consider adding to this number. Besides, it's impossible for me to have biological children anyway, and the technology necessary for that doesn't exist yet.

[Guest Jack Solomon]

I've never (biologically or otherwise) desired a child or the idea of producing one. Since childhood, it's never been an option in my mind and that was long before I knew I was transsexual. I found it incredibly insulting when both women and men would make the comment 'you'll change your mind later'. It was as if they thought all female-bodied people desired children and some of them clearly did think this, unfortunately.

I would like to have the option though - the male option. I'll probably always be a little resentful that I wasn't born with male equipment, but not for the ability to have children. However, I realize the drive to have children is very strong in many people, so I say good luck in however you choose to do it! Men want kids too (my father always badly wanted a child, for example) so there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a biological kid and being a transguy. I hope science improves one day to give us more satisfactory options in any case.

Solomon

[Guest Tay-Tay]

EXACTLY! I mean, they have all this new technology in the world and it's just frustrating.

Maybe, one day, they'll be able to clone penises, testicles, all that stuff and put it your body so you can ejaculate and stuff. Remove all the girl stuff, we want boy stuff!

Ya i know the technology is crazy and ya ok they can clone a sheep... y not make that evolve into something a little more usefull u know i mean i want to have kids and i met this amazing girl who thinks im a guy and im trying to figure out how to tell her but she wants 6 kids and well im fine with that but i want to be the father and well i love her and i really want to be with her and all but im afraid she will get mad or disapointed if i tell her the truth i sent her a pic of me and she actually sees a guy in the pic and it would be nice if i had the body parts to match that actually work

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I've never (biologically or otherwise) desired a child or the idea of producing one. Since childhood, it's never been an option in my mind and that was long before I knew I was transsexual. I found it incredibly insulting when both women and men would make the comment 'you'll change your mind later'. It was as if they thought all female-bodied people desired children and some of them clearly did think this, unfortunately.

OMG! That "you'll change your mind later" comment makes me so MAD! Why do people say that? Fortunately, as I've gotten older, people in my family have realized that I won't change my mind. That comment is one of my "buttons" that really sets me off. The idea that all female-bodied people should be happy to be barefoot and pregnant makes my blood boil, and it's a somewhat pervasive idea.

The idea of having a child in the female way grosses me out...big time. Even talking about the remote possibility of it happening to me scares me to death. I think it's the one thing I wouldn't be able to deal with. Being a father, maybe. Being a mother, definitely not.