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What Was You Process For Picking Your Name?


Guest Nicolas Ian Jaxon

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Guest Michael Heather

Could also go with Luca or Luke in the same vein otherwise?

True, I didn't think about that. And Luca could work as a nickname if I choose Lucien anyway. Hmm, I have to think more about this...

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Guest GabrielMori

My birth name was Gabrielle so I just changed it to Gabriel. I guess mine was pretty simple and people can still call me the same nicknames they did before.

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Guest deadkazi

A friend of mine wanted to give me a nickname when we were younger. He was like a brother to me and he's no longer here. It stuck, even had dreams with the name Jaden used....It wasn't hard. I like it and it just seemed right and special.

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Guest Darth_Taco

It...was a weird process. I think I started off with my legal name, Fabiola, and went from there. Other than Fabian, there is no male alternative to that name. I did not want to go with Fabian though because that's what my father would've named me and considering he also doubles as my rapist, I wasn't fond of letting him name me. Instead, I went to my boyfriend. We spoke and he figured that I go with something weird. We went with the characteristics of my legal name:

Italian

Commonly used by Mexicans

Boyfriend never met anyone else by that name XP

easily pronounceable in Spanish

Then we went with something I wanted in a name:

Biblical name

Extra nerdy

Not common, but not a name that sounds fake either

Manly

So we went through a bunch of random baby names on the internet :P. Considering his family still sees me as his girlfriend and we're only 20, that was really awkward @_@. We ended up shortening it to a list of 3 names. I cannot for the life of me remember what the names were except the one I chose. Anyway, we decided to go with Raphael. Why that one? Well, besides it being the same name as one of the Ninja Turtles, it's suppose to be Hebrew for "God has healed". I happen to be of Hebrew origin, so I found that a nice coincidence. I'm also ironically a hypochondriac xD. So that's what we went with :P. Most couples try to name their future kids, we name one half of the couple XP. That's how my boyfriend named me :P. I still end up going by Taco since not enough people are comfortable calling me by that name. Hell, no one calls me by my legal name xD. I've been Taco for years, and I'd legally change my name to Taco if it weren't just plain dumb :P.

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I decided to use Alex for my name since my middle name is Alexandra. Since reading the post above about how androgynous Alex is, I wonder whether Alexander would be better? Don't know. [i'd probably end up as Xander, as in the Buffy series!] It's moot since I have to go by my birthname, not being out, but I like thinking to myself that that is not really who I am. Easier to use part of an existing name since then you don't have to formally change it. I think. Not sure.

The bit about "what would I have been named as a boy" is also moot since, being an adopted child, they never had a male name under consideration. When my brother was born, they named him my father's second name; not superlatively imaginative folks here. :-) I had uncles Eric and William, so either of those would have been a possible, I guess.

If one is not out and being careful, an androgynous name is not so bad. People won't be sure and you can be called something you actually like.

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I've been Taco for years, and I'd legally change my name to Taco if it weren't just plain dumb :P.

I guess this is the cool things about names though... you can go BY anything you like, doesn't have to be your legal name. If we always had to go by our legal names, that would suck.

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Guest mary/jason

i'm actually still in the process of choosing mine and what i can honestly say is im thinking i may keep my middle name. its elizabeth. i cant help but think of the producers and they say hitler's middle name is elizabeth and then i think when i get to the point that i can pass and people ask for my full name i'd get to say SOMETHING Elizabeth LASTNAME. but ive always been one to look at the humour in things lol. as for first name i was named after my great grandmother so it wont be any easy thing to do as my mom was very close to her....

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Guest joeytheman16

I was kind of named actually. A friend of mine, one day in the middle of class, goes "You're not a (insert female name)... You're a Joe!" So I have since gone by Joe, Joey, Jose and Joseph.

Now my middle name has a bit more meaning behind it. My step-grandpa's middle name was Sterling and he meant the world to me even though he was only in my life for a couple years. I chose to honor him by taking his middle name as mine.

My mom has given me suggestions and the "what she would have named me" talks. But after finding meanings to both names Joseph (he will add...) Sterling (excellent) just fits me.

Well that's my little story!

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Guest N.Chaos

My birth name *vomit, shudder, skin crawls* is Nicole.

My mom and aunt's have always called me Nikki, and then eventually just Nick.

My girlfriend has always called me Nick or Nix, both of which I love. I had a friend once who called me Nikolai jokingly, and I had a two second "Ooh, that's awesome" but decided against it. If I ever get my name legally changed, it'll be just Nick. Having anyone address me as Nick just makes me way too happy.

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Guest some ftm guy

my name chose me too, so cool that someone else brought that up that a lot of people say their name chose them. i was brainstorming male names one day in spring when i realized my female name wouldn't work when I'm actually on T. so i thought of a few i had always liked but i wasn't really feelin em. like eh, i don't know. so i thought "meh it'll come to me eventually" went to bed maybe a few minutes later when i was half asleep it just friggin came to me. black background and all the letters were white and in all caps NOAH and i sat up in a gasp. that's it! that's perfect! never had to think about it, if it felt right for me, i just knew instantly. though the one negative is people will assume i got it from the bible and i didn't lol. no i have no desires whatsoever to make a giant wooden boat, gather round 2 of every kind of animal to fill it with the name just fits. just coincadence. plus it had the same first letter as my female name which i knew i didn't have to have but i knew a lot of people do that.

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Guest Avery F

I wanted a name that started with the same letter as my birth name, because I've been signing things with my initials for a really long time, and I wanted an androgynous name, because I am not and will never come out to my ultra-conservative, ultra-religious paternal grandparents. So, I looked up various 'A' androgynous names, and Avery just seemed to work. I've liked the name for years, ever since first reading it in the H.P. books, and I've always wanted a name with a 'V' in it... odd, I know. I'm thinking of letting my sister or my friend pick my middle name, as very few people know my current middle name, and so it doesn't have to be perfect.

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Well...

I knew someone named Chance in the past and I liked it, but shes a girl. Though it is also a male name.

I just LIKED it, but I found a reason why it would fit me aswell... I thought of it this way, I got a second Chance at life growing up. I used to be suicidal, I over came that and became better... then my transgender came along. My second life. Second chance... it made sense to me. Plus my grandmother really liked it.

It really depends on you.

I have to say, you won't feel right with any name you choose for a while. It takes a few months to get used to. If a few months go by and its still not right, try something else.

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Guest Kirsty H

For me it was quite easy to choose my name. I had always known that If I had been born biologically female then I would be Kirsty. It made sense once I realised I was transsexual to call myself what I would have been originally called it life had dealt me the correct gender at birth.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Like so many others I hated my birth name. It was gross to me. I'm hispanic, so birth name was Alejandra. It was the longest name in the world to me and did not fit me at all. Every time I see it, I want to throw up lol. I'm not really sure how I choose my name. I think it chose me, because I don't remember how I came across it. I think I may have just seen it one day, and tried it out on an online forum and it stuck with me since then. I never had a middle name, but I decided to put Alex as my middle name since I was called Alex by some people in my family growing up since its unisex. So I changed my name to Aaden Alex, and I love it. I think Aaden really suits me, really well. I think I have the best name in the world...lol. Its an interesting process for sure, choosing your own name, and once you find the right name you'll come to love it so much, you'll think its the best name in the world, like me xD

I also prefer the spelling of my name with two A's, instead of Ai. Aiden, seems so awkward to me lol. So now people misspell my name all the name. They either spell it Aiden, or Aden. But its okay. Not a big deal. My name change was one of the best things I did.

You'll see, you'll find the right name. It just takes time. Good luck (:

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  • Posts

    • Betty K
      I think that’s an important point. In my case, I’ve found transitioning to be such a relief and a joy that I have no difficulty focussing on the positives. Maybe in your case you could make a practice of noting when you are gendered correctly? Do you keep a journal? I find doing so is major help.   After saying I rarely get misgendered, it actually happened to me yesterday in a local store. After recovering from my shock (the salesman called me “brother”, which to me is about as bad as it gets) I wrote my first complaint letter to a business w/r/t misgendering. That felt good. I also reflected that, to a degree, for those of us who don’t pass, I think gendering is correctly can take a conscious effort. Some Folks seem to automatically see me as feminine, others have to work at it. So if you’re often surrounded by people who have no desire to work at it, that may exacerbate your problem.      
    • Betty K
      I don’t know why anyone would go to the effort of advocating for trans folks only to charge people to read their articles. It seems so counterproductive, and I seriously doubt they’re making more than pocket money out of it. 
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      Oh, how I wish we were over-reacting!  But I don't think we are.  The danger is under-reacting. 
    • Ivy
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      @KymmieL I think we all have had to deal with a person who would not apologize when they were wrong no matter what.  In my case it was my MIL. Actually called me a lier I front of my wife.  Even when she realized she was wrong she wouldn’t admit it to my wife, nor would she apologize to my wife for any of the things she later admitted she had done that affected my wife.  I had a boss that accused me of saying things I did not say in a manner I did not use.  Even another employee told him that I had not said the things nor used the words but he still refused to back down.     Unfortunately, all too many people in this world believe they are always right no matter what.  Some are very famous.  lol   Willow    
    • KatieSC
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    • Nonexistent
      I have the same problem as you, my face is the main reason why I get misgendered I'm pretty sure. I think it's mostly up to genetics how your face will look (T can help, but still genetics will determine how you end up). You can't change your facial structure really, you can get facial masculinization surgery but it's expensive so not an option for most unless you're rich lol.    Experimentally (I haven't done it but want to), you could see if any plastic surgeons around you will give you Kybella in your cheeks. It is an injection that removes fat, and is usually used underneath the chin/on the neck below the jawline, but some may use it off-label on the face. The only potential problem with this is that if your face would naturally thin out at an older age, it could thin out extra and make you look older (though I'm not certain on this). Another option is to get filler in your jaw/chin, which would make your jawline look more square and your face more masculine. I want jaw filler but I'm poor lol, it only lasts one year up to a few years depending on what kind you get, so it would have to be done every so often and can get expensive. I did get chin filler once, only 2 small vials so it didn't make that big of a difference. I would recommend going for the jaw if you can only choose 1, I wish I had done that.   Those are the only options I know of that will bring legitimate noticeable changes.
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Blake!! We are happy that you found us!!
    • Mmindy
      Good evening Blake.   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you.    Trans men and trans women each have their own struggles for sure, but I agree, it can be a hard time to be a non-passing trans guy. There is no specific "man clothes" that only men wear. People could just think I'm butch (which sucks to think about, if people think I'm a lesbian when I'm a dude!!). I mean I would feel better if I got gendered correctly even if I don't fully pass, it would maybe raise my confidence to think maybe I do pass well lol! Instead I'm just reminded I don't.   Though I may just focus on the times I don't pass and ignore the times that I do. Because I rarely remember getting gendered correctly, but I hone in on the times that I don't. 
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you, I'm glad to be here. :)   I have been in therapy for 9 years but still can't seem to accept myself. I think it has to do with growing up trans in a world that hates us, especially in the south. I mean I was discriminated against by adults and ostracized as a kid/teen due to being trans. My family is accepting, but the rest of the world is not. I realize now a lot of people are accepting (even unexpectedly, like my partner's conservative republican Trump-loving parents lol), but it feels like my brain is still in survival mode every time I exit the door. I am a very fearful person.   My body still may change over time, but it feels like I haven't met the same 'quota' (don't know the right word) that a majority of other trans guys have on far less time on T. Most trans guys pass easily 1-3yrs on T, I'm double that and still don't pass well except my voice.
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you. I am just used to seeing trans guys who pass at like... 6 months to 1 year, at the most 3 years. And I just don't meet the mark, all the way at 6 years. It is possible with time I will masculinize more, but it's frustrating when I'm "behind" and may never catch up. It threatens my mental health mostly, possibly my physical health if I'm visibly trans (though I don't ever go out alone). 
    • Adrianna Danielle
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    • Nonexistent
      Yeah, I am grieving the man I "should" have been. He will never exist, especially not in my youth. But I don't know how to healthily go about it instead of fixating on the life that could have been.
    • EasyE
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