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So What Do You Call Yourself?


Guest praisedbeherhooves

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Guest Chrysee

I got to thinking that if I could swing the facelift and the nose job and then eventually (after HRT) implants, then folks could call me a skinjob!

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I like "gender-fluid androgyne", seeing as how I, you know, identify as androgyne but tend to slide around the spectrum a bit. When I don't feel like explaining myself, I stick to "androgyne". On really gender-fluid days, I use "genderqueer".

. . . Maybe I should just choose something and stick to it; now that I see that all written out, I kinda feel sorry for the people who ask me and have to suffer through my multiple labels. Er.

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Guest mad_scientist

Genderqueer, usually, because I don't really understand my identity enough to be more specific. Most of the time I'm certain I'm agendered, but then I'll go through these periods where I'm *definitely* neutrois, or a butch woman, or a femme man.

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Guest DixiePixie

"Genderqueer" is generally a good enough catch-all term for multiple sides of myself - I think of myself as a gay guy that happens to be in a female body I'm increasingly comfortable with, and androgynous / feminine appearing.

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Guest stranger

I like androgyne, it kind of sounds like something that ought to require high-test fuel and go really fast. :lol:

"Got me an androgyne under the hood with a little Nitrous bleed..."

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Guest Chrysee

"I like {girls}, in a gay way."

I think it's true that our minds often know things that we just as soon not know. So, it (the mind) hides it from us. At a get together a number of years ago (long before I came out or even consciously knew that I had something to 'let out') I tired of listening to others present introduce themselves by way of their credentials. So when it came to me, I simply announced that I was 'a lesbian trapped in a man's body.'

Little did I then actually know. . .

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Guest stranger

What do I call myself? Defective. And that is what it really is.

Says who??? Society? to heck with them! You're not hurting anybody by being yourself, and if you're not hurting anybody, they can just get over themselves!

(As I say...Those who are shocked and offended by gender nonconformity really need to get out more often ;) )

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Guest Chrysee

What do I call myself? Defective. And that is what it really is.

Stop, please! Before you become too attached to the whole 'defective' thing, consider this:

I have heard those born into male bodies who then grow into healthy, heterosexual men called 'normal.' I on the other hand deem them: 'average.'

One of the worst things that humans do as a species is balance. In some areas it may appeal or even be preferred or longed for. However, excess gives off a seductive scent that a great many people flock to.

Consider this: just as every battery, magnet, etc., contains both positive and negative. This grants them balance. And so does every human contain both masculine and feminine. Now I know and all my life have known many 'average men' (see above) who would not stand still for the very insinuation that they have an ounce of female in them. We (transgenders, genderqueers, whatever term, you wish to fill the blank in with) not only acknowledge the presence of what those around us call 'the opposite sex', but both boast of and show it! It is not the opposite sex as in something over there, it is the opposite polarity in each of us which makes us whole. As well, the way that we treat it--allowing it to occupy it's place in our presence--not only maintains balance, but elevates us above the 'average' (I think) and makes us, well, kinda special.

But whether special or not, I cannot abide 'defective.'

Thanks for letting me rant.

Chrysalis

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    • Nonexistent
      I have the same problem as you, my face is the main reason why I get misgendered I'm pretty sure. I think it's mostly up to genetics how your face will look (T can help, but still genetics will determine how you end up). You can't change your facial structure really, you can get facial masculinization surgery but it's expensive so not an option for most unless you're rich lol.    Experimentally (I haven't done it but want to), you could see if any plastic surgeons around you will give you Kybella in your cheeks. It is an injection that removes fat, and is usually used underneath the chin/on the neck below the jawline, but some may use it off-label on the face. The only potential problem with this is that if your face would naturally thin out at an older age, it could thin out extra and make you look older (though I'm not certain on this). Another option is to get filler in your jaw/chin, which would make your jawline look more square and your face more masculine. I want jaw filler but I'm poor lol, it only lasts one year up to a few years depending on what kind you get, so it would have to be done every so often and can get expensive. I did get chin filler once, only 2 small vials so it didn't make that big of a difference. I would recommend going for the jaw if you can only choose 1, I wish I had done that.   Those are the only options I know of that will bring legitimate noticeable changes.
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Blake!! We are happy that you found us!!
    • Mmindy
      Good evening Blake.   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you.    Trans men and trans women each have their own struggles for sure, but I agree, it can be a hard time to be a non-passing trans guy. There is no specific "man clothes" that only men wear. People could just think I'm butch (which sucks to think about, if people think I'm a lesbian when I'm a dude!!). I mean I would feel better if I got gendered correctly even if I don't fully pass, it would maybe raise my confidence to think maybe I do pass well lol! Instead I'm just reminded I don't.   Though I may just focus on the times I don't pass and ignore the times that I do. Because I rarely remember getting gendered correctly, but I hone in on the times that I don't. 
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you, I'm glad to be here. :)   I have been in therapy for 9 years but still can't seem to accept myself. I think it has to do with growing up trans in a world that hates us, especially in the south. I mean I was discriminated against by adults and ostracized as a kid/teen due to being trans. My family is accepting, but the rest of the world is not. I realize now a lot of people are accepting (even unexpectedly, like my partner's conservative republican Trump-loving parents lol), but it feels like my brain is still in survival mode every time I exit the door. I am a very fearful person.   My body still may change over time, but it feels like I haven't met the same 'quota' (don't know the right word) that a majority of other trans guys have on far less time on T. Most trans guys pass easily 1-3yrs on T, I'm double that and still don't pass well except my voice.
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you. I am just used to seeing trans guys who pass at like... 6 months to 1 year, at the most 3 years. And I just don't meet the mark, all the way at 6 years. It is possible with time I will masculinize more, but it's frustrating when I'm "behind" and may never catch up. It threatens my mental health mostly, possibly my physical health if I'm visibly trans (though I don't ever go out alone). 
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    • Nonexistent
      Yeah, I am grieving the man I "should" have been. He will never exist, especially not in my youth. But I don't know how to healthily go about it instead of fixating on the life that could have been.
    • EasyE
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      Going to the conventions has been one of my ways to deal with this stuff. 
    • Nonexistent
      Sorry it took me a while to respond!    I would like to get to know you. :) I only have mental disabilities. Schizoaffective disorder, depression, and anxiety. The last two are severe and very treatment-resistant. I did have physical problems for some time, but it was caused by an antipsychotic medication (Invega). It basically crippled me, muscle weakness/fatigue, basically could barely walk (used mobility devices) and doctors were useless since they didn't suspect the medication I was on! I've finally ditched antipsychotics (hopefully for good, unless my symptoms come back). I usually don't share like this, especially in person, but hey, I'm anonymous. :)   I'm not expecting reciprocation at all btw, these things are personal. There is more to us than disabilities, so tell me about yourself if you still wanna talk!
    • EasyE
      thanks for the insight ... good to know things are being well thought-out ... it is no easy topic for sure, as many of us on here have been wrestling with this stuff for years and decades...
    • Ashley0616
      @KymmieLWOW! He is absolutely horrible! Definitely one of the worst boss's. 
    • KymmieL
      Well the boss is at it again. They misplaced a work order thinking I was the last one who had it, yesterday morning. I know where it is. Last thing I did with it was put it back on the counter. He accused me a couple times of having it last and put it somewhere. Come to find out, the other boss (his wife) had taken it. she put the work order paper in the recycle box.   Has he apologized about the accusations. He!! no. I am waiting for hadies to get frost bit.   So that was my morning.  But it is finally warming up here. currently 63 and windy.   Hugs, Kymmie
    • MAN8791
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