Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

People See What They Want To See


Guest NatashaJade

Recommended Posts

Guest NatashaJade

Hey all!

So I was off to my laser tech yesterday for a higher dose of focused light designed to cause me pain and belated pleasure (pain from being shot like Greedo over and over on the face..pleasure from having less and less dark matter blotching up said face). When she was finishing up, she kind of laughed and said:

"So, is this what you wear when you teach?" I had just come from work.

"uh-huh"

"And people think you look like a man? I don't get it."

She went on to point out the difference in my facial structure and body shape. When I stood up, I tried to put on my best teacher voice and act like I do at school, but part of the problem for me is that when I am getting lasered, I am totally in girl mode and it is REALLY hard for me to think about being a man. It takes the bulk of the drive home for me to re-affect a little of the male persona that my wife still needs.

So I put on what I thought was the male persona (including my "manly" glasses - which are actually kind of gender neutral when I think about it) and she laughed at me and said:

"You look like a woman trying to be a man."

All I can think is that here is someone I have been out to all the time and she has seen me every month and seen the changes and really noticed them for what they are and, most of all, sees me how I want to be seen. I project woman at her so she sees woman (and, being intersexed, she is very open to our community).

So what I am saying is, much as everyone who wants to see me as male studiously avoids all the tell-tale signs of female and focuses on the tell-tale signs of male, it is the opposite for others.

A Rufus Wainwright says, "Oh what a world we live in..."

luv

Gin

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

.

Exactly!

People see what they want/expect to see!

I really don't do much "male mode' anymore...

People that I work with somehow still see him despite the evidence...

Same for you, Gin...

Rufus was right....lol

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest Soran Vs

Reading this really gives me hope for my future and how I project myself to others. Its so interesting how different people see different sides of you and have entirely alternate perceptions. Its awesome to think that people like her can see and appreciate the real you.

Link to comment
Guest AshleyRF

People don't generally pay enough attention to other people in the world to know if they could even possibly be trans. They glance and if you have feminine hair and a general feminine appearance they just assume you are female by birth. Someone being transgendered is the furthest thing on most peoples minds.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 210 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Ashley0616
    • AmandaJoy
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,081
    • Most Online
      8,356

    brightmom
    Newest Member
    brightmom
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Ben1868
      Ben1868
      (22 years old)
    2. Charity
      Charity
      (41 years old)
    3. EagerBeaver
      EagerBeaver
    4. Nagato
      Nagato
      (33 years old)
    5. Star
      Star
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      This stuff seems to be the major talking point for "conservatives" these days.  Just shows that they don't know what they're talking about, and don't particularly care.
    • Jani
      You are both beautiful.  Have fun.
    • Willow
    • Mirrabooka
      Mother's Day, so I thought I'd do the right thing and cook. So, we got Chinese takeaway! 😆   Actually, we planned it days ago, just thinking that tonight we would treat ourselves. Complete with a lovely bottle of Cab Sav.
    • Mirrabooka
      Exactly.   A plain old "Good morning" should always suffice, for example, whether the recipient expects a gender specific greeting or not.
    • Ladypcnj
      Hi awkward yet sweet, yeah, I tried dumping her but my current health insurance keeps directing me back to her as my primary, yet there are other doctors to choose from, but they are far away.
    • Ladypcnj
      Hi Birdie, I can relate to that.
    • Mirrabooka
    • Mirrabooka
      This sort of stuff makes my blood boil. A prospective state politician has gained approval from his party's state council to run in their state election next year.   He once stated that the + part of LGBTQIA+ is where pedophiles are categorized.   For clarity, in Australia the Liberal party is our main conservative party. They have lurched further to the right over the past 10 years or so. Our main progressive, union backed party is Labor.   WA Liberal party approves Dr Thomas Brough, candidate who linked LGBTQIA+ community with paedophiles - ABC News
    • Willow
      Happy Mother’s Day    I have to be at church earlier than normal for a mic check.  I have been going over what I am to say, both silently reading and reading it aloud.  My concern is that my voice will freeze as it sometimes does.     I felt I was honored very highly yesterday by my minister and supporter on my journey.  He and another minister are Standing together to become the next co-moderators of the Presbyterian Church (USA).  They included me to receive an advance copy of their initial submission.  I was one of only 6 people listed on the email to receive this.  Later this week it will go out to all the voting commissioners that will be in Salt Lake City for the meeting.  I have asked to be allowed to attend the meeting to support him and Rev CeeCee Armstrong, whom he is standing with.    We’ll time to get ready .   Willow
    • Mirrabooka
      Nup. Not an option. You need to keep going and keep us all in the loop, and we need to keep seeing your beautiful smile!   Party, schmarty. I'm 61 and haven't had a birthday party since I was 30. Even that was just a crummy meal at the pub with a few friends who we have since lost contact with. Don't sweat it.
    • Mirrabooka
      On behalf of everyone reading your entries here @Sally Stone, THANK YOU for creating such an informative thread. But there is one thing you might have neglected to say at the end, and that is, "And they all lived happily ever after!" ❤️   Reno sounds like a pretty good place to call home. I understand the attraction of living in a place that is not too big but not too small.   I look forward to reading your subsequent posts about specific aspects of your journey.
    • Betty K
      Hi and welcome. A few things...   1. You're right, you can't trust your friends w/r/t the question of passing. How would they even know if you pass or not? My sister used to do the same thing, telling me that no-one knew I was trans and that to her I just looked like a cis woman. I still don't know if she was serious or just trying to make me feel good, but I learned to not listen to her on that topic.   2. Buuuut, having said that, I thought I looked good, and I think that is all she was really trying to tell me, that she liked how I looked as a woman. Maybe this is obvious, but I feel it gets overlooked: passing and looking good are not the same thing, not even remotely. Your friends (I presume) are trying to tell you that you look good as you are.   3. Having said all that, I think non-passing transmascs have a harder time than us non-passing transfemmes. All I have to do to get gendered correctly 95% of the time is wear a dress and makeup and only a few seriously ignorant folks and diehard transphobes misgender me. For you, it's much harder to find signifiers powerful enough to send the same message.   So in short, I don't have any answers, except that you're right, it sucks, and I hope the situation improves over time. But passing isn't everything. Maybe you're right, and in a less conservative state it wouldn't happen so often, because you'd have more people like you surrounding you. I know that where I chose to live while transitioning has been a big part of making the process a positive experience. I'd hate to be in Texas atm.
    • Mirrabooka
      Thank you, ladies.   At the time I went from euphoric (my normal state) to not euphoric in an instant, and the lingering thought was one of self-doubt, manifesting itself with the unsolved question that maybe I never really felt like I had the soul of a woman, I just thought I did. I know I'm not the only one to ever feel this way. All part of the ride on this roller coaster I guess.   Yep, and yep. Makes sense now.
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   I’m sitting at my gate waiting to board a jet ✈️ home. Happy Mother’s Day.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋🏳️‍🌈❤️
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...