Ok To Be Average

[Guest therisa]

People tell me

I'm making huge strides

In the healing of myself

Yet i don't feel it

Why is this?

Many ways

I feel i've regressed

Moving two steps backwards

For each one forward

Maybe I'm too hard

Upon myself

Possibly.

Always felt the need

To be better than others

No matter the cost

Anything less

Is considered failure

Wasted effort on my part.

Setting impossible goals

Anyone else

Would balk at

But for me

This is normal.

Trying to prove

I'm not stupid or slow

Because i have trouble

Grasping certain ideas

Not using my Learning Disability

As an excuse

For my results.

No matter

How well i do

Always a step behind

Never seeming

To close the gap.

Forced to ask myself

Why bother

If i'm always second best

Would it not be

Easier to find a hole

Live the rest of my life there

As the world moves on.

Such a simple solution

Avoiding reality

Of the situation

That i find myself in.

Might as well

Pull the trigger

Ending the pain

If i were to follow this path.

No

There has to be

An alternative way

In dealing with this

One i've found

Yet.

But the need

Grows with each passing day

Ending this destructive behaviour

Able to move on

Not holding myself

To impossible standards.

Note To Readers: Originally written Spetpember 24, 2008. A constant struggle on my part, to remind myself of this.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Therisa,

<<< hug >>>

I see it an old poem, I hope that all of the steps that you took backward yielded a better path for you

You are here now, so it must have been the Right thing to do

vanna

[Guest therisa]

Hi Therisa,

<<< hug >>>

I see it an old poem, I hope that all of the steps that you took backward yielded a better path for you

You are here now, so it must have been the Right thing to do

vanna

Honestly, am still battling this impulse, to be prefect and some days, the battle seems like a huge struggle, which I see no end to.

[Sally]

In our ultra competitive society we look to only the best and fail to realize that it is the average person who keeps the world running/

Therisa, think about this - the next time you see an athlete winning an award ask yourself, "How did they pay for all of that training? How did they find time around work?"

The answer - their very average parents or spouses supported them through out the training.

We are the backbone of society and there is no need to apologize for that - we are not a drain on the resources - we are the main suppliers.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Old poem I know, but you say it still applies.

What I see in the wording is that very high set of standards you tend to set up for yourself. There is nothing wrong with that, if you are reasonable in you expectations - and use such standards as a goal rather than as an end. You MUST remember it is the struggle to reach a goal, not the succees or failure, that defines you. YOU ARE THAT FORCE - the one that strives...

And transperson? Trying to cope - trying to transition? HUGE JOURNEY - it is so immense as to almost be impossible to comprehend.

Therefore? The overview? Can you see progress? Almost never. It is waaaaaay too slow to measure daily... it requires a monthly or even a yearly comparison of where you were to where you are that is likely to show results.

Patience, my love - you will make it.

PATIENCE.

Lizzy

[Guest miss kindheart]

Honestly, am still battling this impulse, to be prefect and some days, the battle seems like a huge struggle, which I see no end to.

Dear therisa,

<<< hug >>>>

The last two perfect people left the Garden of Eden oh so long ago.

Just try and be happy being who you are, you will always be you no matter what.

We like people for their qualities, but we love them for their defects

vanna

[Guest therisa]

Old poem I know, but you say it still applies.

What I see in the wording is that very high set of standards you tend to set up for yourself. There is nothing wrong with that, if you are reasonable in you expectations - and use such standards as a goal rather than as an end. You MUST remember it is the struggle to reach a goal, not the succees or failure, that defines you. YOU ARE THAT FORCE - the one that strives...

And transperson? Trying to cope - trying to transition? HUGE JOURNEY - it is so immense as to almost be impossible to comprehend.

Therefore? The overview? Can you see progress? Almost never. It is waaaaaay too slow to measure daily... it requires a monthly or even a yearly comparison of where you were to where you are that is likely to show results.

Patience, my love - you will make it.

PATIENCE.

Lizzy

Elizabeth, as a child, my report cards would read, "T*****y doesn't try hard enough or apply hymself to the task at hand". Never realizing my various learning disability make conventional learning almost impossible to me. This, from a child, who was reading at 2nd year universary level, while in grade 7. Worse part was, my parents were comparing me, to my younger brother and found my grades wanting, as a result. Guess, I have a lot of baggage to get rid of, first.