Fun Little Story About The Miracle Of Birth

[Guest Drew]

childbirth is a beautiful, natural, and magical event...that's what society has taught me to believe (and by society, i mean my mom).

different story when the miracle of birth is taking place in your living room...trust me.

yesterday started like any other day. i got up, ate, showered, shaved, and got dressed...oh yes, and went to school. after school, my very pregnant friend who has been kicked out of her house, came over to study for a biology test (irony much?). everything is fine until my friend starts to complain about stomach pains...i, the stupid guy i am, just dismiss it as pregnant lady whining...bad idea. suddenly, a very weird look crosses my friend's face, it seems her water has just broken...a month-and-a-half early (and all over my couch i might add ). the next sensible course of action? drive her to the hospital and call her folks on the way...or call an ambulance. my next course of action? freak out because my other friend has my car and proceed to tear the house apart looking for the phone...oh, and post a facebook status update asking if anyone has seen my car ( ). her brother then proceeded to call my cell (which i had forgotten about ) to yell at me and tell me to, and i quote, "GET YOUR donkey OFF FACEBOOK AND CALL A @%#$!&@$ AMBULANCE!!!!!!" at least i found a phone. well, i'm not a total idiot (contrary to popular belief) so i called an ambulance and prayed to whoever was listening that they would get there in time...they didn't. when i go to sleep i can still hear my friend yelling at me to "BE A MAN AND JUST STICK YOUR HAND THERE"...i don't ever plan on sleeping again. i have now *officially* had all the involvement with childbirth that i will EVER have...EVER. of course once i've actually delivered the baby THEN the EMS show up, THEN her parents show up, THEN anybody who could have helped arrives.

well, the good news. my friend and her kid, Matthew (nice name), are doing well. even though he was born premature he's healthy ...and even though i'm grossed out and seriously considering how attracted i am to women...i'm glad i was there...better me than her alcoholic step-brother.

i'm off to attempt to sleep

Drew

[Guest raydub]

holy crap dude!

so you delivered a baby yesterday... RANDOM!

im glad you were there too. i USED to BE the alcoholic brother.. i wouldve rathered someone else be there too !

so uuh..no med school for you eh?

Ray

[Guest Seth]

Very nice.

It'd be cool to be involved with child birth.

[Guest Drew]

holy crap dude!

so you delivered a baby yesterday... RANDOM!

im glad you were there too. i USED to BE the alcoholic brother.. i wouldve rathered someone else be there too !

so uuh..no med school for you eh?

Ray

yeah, no med school for me ...although my chosen career is actually as an EMT...

Very nice.

It'd be cool to be involved with child birth.

i thought that too...until it actually happened

[Guest Mr. Fox]

Well, although you did not enjoy the experience, you grew as an individual and added to your repetoire of fascinating anecdotes. Good and foul all at once!

[Guest Mr. Fox]

Oh no, now I'm having foreboding thoughts involving my pregnant friend. Luckily, phones in our house are firmly attached to the wall, so they shall not be lost. Still, that edge of dread remains.

[Guest Matthew-L]

wow!

talk about a once in a lifetime experience

i would assume that it's good to be sober while doing something like that

i'm glad you were there

Matthew

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

That's a pretty amazing story!! The Miracle of Birth freaks me out, big time!