Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

New Out Of The Closet Saying Hey!


Guest Alice4016

Recommended Posts

Guest Alice4016

Hello everyone,

Well recently I came out to my wife (we started dating in highschool (freshman year), and finally married a year ago) that I am a woman. Not pysically, yet at least, but I have known this since...well as long as I can remember. (I remember being six or sevenish? praying to God that I would wake up in the morning as myself). Guess what? She was fine with it! Actually since coming out she's said I'm a much nicer/happier person to be around. She's been so supportive with everything! I'm just glad that she can finally meet ME...not the shell of a person I was before. I was trying too hard to make myself a man, when I didn't even know how to be one (other than what I have learned from living as one for 19 years)....I was an idiot, but finally I can be myself.

I tried my entire life to deny this, deny who I am. I was even ready to go into the military because I felt this would force me to accept how I was born...but luckily I decided against that, that would have been the biggest mistake in my entire life. Whew, it still feels so good to say it, I am a woman.

I've been living 100% (or as close to 100% I can get ;p ) at home. My wife was great accepting this, she even helped me pick out a wig (and she didn't even care about the price..which I was suprised about also $500..but it's real hair so yay! I love it so much! http://wowwigs.stores.yahoo.net/athena.html I think it's pretty at least), she's let me wear her items (until I managed to pick up a few of my own), and she's starting to help me work on my voice too! I'm going to be coming out to my band this week (it's kinda hard not to...we practice here ;p)..but they have all been friends since I can remember, so I'm hoping they'll all be able to adjust....plus I'll just remind them just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't still play a mean drums! (I did manage to crack a nail though the other day when my wife and I were jamming...ugh.)

The goal is to tell my parents, and her's (not worried about them, they are the most easy going, accepting people I have ever met), sometime in the next month or so. Any advice regarding this? I mean I'm going to do it, just very nervous about it..ya know? It's not everyday parents hear this. Either way, they can accept me or not, theres no changing whats inside. Once I let them know I'm going to start on hormones, and start living as myself 100% of the time (not just at home, around friend, etc.). Also I'm going to start seeing a psycologist/gender therapist so I can start working on my 1-2 year real life living test, and also start collecting recomendations for the surgury. I'll also start the transitioning period durring this phase, meaning changing birth certificate, drivers liscense, social security, etc. (I've been following the advances in this field since I could understand what this was, and had internet acces ;p so I'm just ready to get the process moving..but it's always good to make sure to do this properly)

Finally, the overall goal is to undergo Facial Feminization Surgury, Breast Enchancement (if hormones don't take care if that ;p), Butt and Hip augmentation, and the big one Sexual Reassignment Surgury! My wife and I want to wait until we have enough money to pay for this all up front at one time (or as close as the doctors will let it happen). Again I couldn't ask for a more wonderful wife, she's so understanding, supportive, and AMAZING! I couldn't go through this without her at all! She's even fine with calling me by my new name...which I thought would be weird for her..but nope she even helped me pick one out! (she said it was a perfect choice for her hippy chick)

Well, sorry for how long this was, its just great to finally, after keeping it bottled up so long, be able to acutally discuss this! Just wanted to introduce myself, and say hey!

Peace, love, and health,

Alice

P.S: About my new name. My wife and I knew I'd have to sooner or later choose a name for myself. Here's how we picked Alice:

The first reason is simply because I like the sound, acutally I've always been between Alice and Alyson for as long as I could remember. Second is a reference to Alice in Wonderland and the forrest where she can't remember her name, hence she doesn't know what/who she is. Thats how I have felt my entire life, and now that I can call myself by my name I know who I am...if that make sense to you guys.

Again just saying hey, and introducing myself to these forums for the first time as myself!

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

Hi Alice,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. You are very fortunate to have such a supporting wife. Not many of us have that luxury.

MaryEllen :)

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest raydub

Alice! Welcome to the forums!

Its nice to hear your wife is accepting and supportive. Congratulations on that. ...and on the new wig ;)

Thats how I have felt my entire life, and now that I can call myself by my name I know who I am...if that make sense to you guys.

you better believe we know what this feels like. :lol:

Again..welcome! Stick around hon!

Ray

Link to comment
Guest CharliTo

btw, I saw that you play the drums too. yaay :] It's been a while for me though :'(

Welcome to the forums! :)

Charlene

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 63 Guests (See full list)

    • KathyLauren
    • MaryEllen
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Birdie
    • Lydia_R
    • Mmindy
    • DeeDee
    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,103
    • Most Online
      8,356

    BUGFIEND
    Newest Member
    BUGFIEND
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bobbijean
      Bobbijean
    2. Bryan
      Bryan
      (61 years old)
    3. jlw5ju
      jlw5ju
      (27 years old)
    4. ladykirabellum
      ladykirabellum
      (47 years old)
    5. Lizzie17
      Lizzie17
  • Posts

    • Lydia_R
      Yep, this thing is a red flag that people should be super aware of on this site.  I've been working from home exclusively for 12 years.  I'm a house cat like that, so this isn't much of a deterrent for me.  I've been venturing out into the women's restrooms a little bit lately, but as is typical of people like me, I'm just in there to do my business and get out.  I avoid that as much as I can and use those single bathrooms whenever I can.  I went over a year without going to a public restroom.  I just don't go out much.   I haven't stood to pee in 7 years now.  The idea of surgery is very, very scary for me (I wrote a book about it).  I'm likely going to do it though.  I would like some evidence from other transwomen of what it is really like.  I'm not one to take plane flights, but taking a flight for that is well justified.  Before my testosterone was blocked, there was a much larger sexual side to M->F transition.  Now sexuality plays a back seat to the idea of wanting to pee like a woman.  It's always been in my mind, but the desire for that has grown.   Respectfully, Lydia_R
    • April Marie
      Just a black skort and a yellow t-shirt with sneakers today.
    • Birdie
      Wearing my new top for my Zoom meeting today. ☺️
    • Lydia_R
      I've gotten to the point lately where I'm thinking of the extension of the separation of church and state to separation of culture and state.  Government's purpose to ensure a construct of civility.  Food, clothing, shelter and justice for the individual.  That includes the roads as far as they pertain to the distribution of food, clothing and shelter.  And "ensure" is different than "provide".   I think that there is no way to truly express yourself or have a good foundation without having a personal culture.  I like telling stories and teaching lessons through my culture, but I always hope that people don't think I'm promoting my culture beyond it just being visible as an option.
    • KatieSC
      I would imagine the GOPers are holding that by bull in their hand and paying attention to the Trump version with the nine commandments highlighted.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Having to call the police on a woman that was being a Karen.Was in my shop fixing my car and wanted me to fix hers.Told her it was my personal shop and told her no.Would not take no for an answer and called the police.I did decide to press trespassing charges on her.I knew she was one of those entitled people
    • Ivy
      It is scary, (and as you say, thrilling) at first.  But the more you do it the easier it gets.  I dress fem 24/7 (almost always skirts and dresses) and I live in a conservative county of a "red state".   Sure, there are places I avoid, but I have little desire to be there anyway.  It gets to just be part of who you are.   My experience is that most people don't care, some are curious, and surprisingly many (usually other women) friendly.   The first steps are the hardest.  It's similar with bathrooms.
    • Ivy
      Don't know how this posted itself.  To continue…   There was a time when I tried to make excuses for them.  But I am coming to the realization that in their eyes, I, and those like me, are 2nd class citizens at best.
    • Ivy
      There is a rather large part of the GOP that is determined to strip the rights of trans citizens, despite us being a small minority, some with families, who work, pay taxes, and who do - and have served in our armed forces, are medics, nurses, etc.   They insist that the US is a "christian country" - referring to their particular brand of christianity.  And this is despite the constitution, that they claim near worship of, expressly prohibiting this very thing.    
    • Lydia_R
      Oregon has a law that allows you to change your name and gender once in your lifetime without involving the courts.  It took me about 2.5 months to complete and was relatively easy.  It came up yesterday about how I changed my gender on my ID to F instead of X.  I identify with M->F, not X.  I passed over the line into F, but I'm still near the middle in the spectrum.  And I intend to keep going in the F direction.  There is another transwoman named Rachel Rand who is about 10 years older than me and I use her as a model for where I want to be in 10 years.   I'm a proud Gen X'er, but it's based on latchkey arcade games, not gender.
    • Lydia_R
      I never met me GT in person.  I started off by dressing in my LBD going to fast food and drive thru coffee.  The first time I ventured out of the car, I was wearing a tight fitting long black dress with hose and heels to the ATM.  No one saw me and it was a good step to take.  I still love that dress and was wearing it last week.  I have learned to accept my male bulge in a feminine way thinking of it being like a teenage girl who's breasts are coming in and how that must feel when being in public.  Nothing I can do about it and I'm not into wearing some pleated skirt to hide it because I'm not into that style.
    • Lydia_R
      Wow, talk about big data!  I think I'd geek out on those vectors.  Politically, that idea is pretty sick.  Artistically....  Gotta have something to do with your time.  It's low impact work.
    • Lydia_R
      Although there certainly is just flat out racist hate in this, I tend to ignore that kind of thing and think of it from an economic standpoint.   I've seen some reports of the Chinese being afraid of their men becoming weaker and becoming less able to do hard, manual labor.  Of course that is just sexist BS on some level (my first wife does professional construction work), there is undoubtedly a weakening that goes with the M->F thing.  I feel it within my body.   In my opinion, it's just old school economics of a growing economy.  Like Vaclov Smil is suggesting, maybe we should give up on the idea of growth:   https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/sep/21/vaclav-smil-interview-growth-must-end-economists   I believe this old school growing economy is over and there is nothing anyone can really do about it.  Like a river, we just need to go with the flow and not fight it.  My roommate is talking about the idea of the country splitting up in to regions.  Perhaps there is some sense in that?  Two of my trans roommates this year came from the mid-south specifically for trans healthcare here.  We all like it here in Portland.  It isn't perfect.  Ironically, it could be much more accepting here.  But all the trans people I know here say that we are not leaving.  Because of my career, it is almost certain I will have to move by the end of the year, but I'll likely be coming back when my job is completed.  My house is 4 miles from the transgender hospital too.  I've had the fantasy for years about being a halfway house for people having surgeries.  I get this feeling that it is going to become a strange episode of M*A*S*H.  I guess I'm just going to go with the flow on this.  Fighting the tow of the moon and all that.
    • Ladypcnj
      Yes, its common in gender therapy, my therapist was similar the same way, I should embrace my femineity. I came out in my childhood years. It was the first time my parents took me clothes shopping; I ran on over to the girl's department when I was a kid, some of us already knew we are girls. Okay, now let's bring things up to 2024, how to get past your fear? For starters, you can watch fashion shows or look around your surroundings outside to see what other women are wearing today. Take out your notebook to write things down such as red top, black jeans, earrings, boots or sneakers.. okay you get the general idea. Since I was already dating x-girlfriend at the time, shopping for female clothes during the holiday, was supper easy, if anyone asked me.. I just said I'm getting these clothes for my girlfriend, and it worked like a charmed.    Another to get past the fear without leaving home, you can try online shopping, you would need to measure waist area, and height .. this might come with trial and error since there is no dressing room. 
    • Lydia_R
      I'm not sure how much you can really help anyone, but I have enjoyed opening my house up to trans people this year.   Including myself, there have been 4 transgender people living in my one bedroom house.  And there is one cis gendered male here.  All of us have experienced homelessness.  Not just a couple days either, but significant homelessness.  Since I was homeless for 4 years 20 years ago, I've always wanted to be in a position where I could open up my house like this.  For whatever reason, I am the only trans person in the house right now, but it seems that others are on the way.  I have a desire to keep my house running like this for the foreseeable future.   I had a retired Scientologist counselor helping me out when I was in my 4 year homeless period.  I can't even imagine how I would have survived without her.  When I was living in those cars and vans, I'd have periods of a week or two where I'd stay with her and have adventures.  I'd get some better food.  She was on SSI, so we would go to the food bank.  I got turned onto cauliflower from the food bank.  I'd get my laundry done and then I'd have some time studying on the computer.  I slept on the living room floor with a sleeping bag.  My Dirty Pot and Igotarock compositions where made on the floor of that apartment.  I just put my gear on the floor and recorded my bass sitting on the floor.  I had made the drum machine parts while I was sleeping in my GEO Metro.  She kicked my out on New Years Eve going into 2004.  I had just been a mad scientist doing math and that was the best thing for me at the time.  a/b=c/d   So yes, you can help if you use some balance with it.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...