Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Boyfriends


Guest shimmeringkristal

Recommended Posts

Guest shimmeringkristal

I didn't want to say anything about this earlier cause I didn't think that it was a big deal at the time but I just couldn't bring myself to think that way anymore. I broke up with my boyfriend about a 2 months ago. :( I found out that he had been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it he said "You should have seen it comming. One of my friends asked me what I ever saw in you cause you were not a true girl. I told him that I didn't know." Those words were so devistating that I just told him that it was over and to never contact me ever again. :mad: I cried myself to sleep that night and the tears didn't stop till later the next day. I felt so stupid. :banghead: How could a person like me ever be wanted or needed.

Then about a month ago I met someone in the store while doing my grocery shopping. He was nice. He struck up a conversation which ended with us exchanging phone numbers. Later in the week he called and asked if I would like to go out on a date. I accepted but was not as "committed" as I would normally would be. At about the midpoint of the date he asked me why I was being so distant. I told him about my ex. I also told him about my secret and that I would understand it if he didn't want to see me again. After I told him he did the oddest thing. He started to laugh. Not just a small laugh but a huge barrel laugh. :o He appologised saying that he wasn't laughing at me but at the situation. Then he told me that he was a closseted bi-sexual. We are now going steady and can't seem to get enough of each other's company. He is very romantic. He treats me with nothing but compassion, respect, understanding and he treats me like a lady. I just can't seem to get him out of my head. He is my first thought when I get up and the last thought when I go to bed. :D

Is this what falling in love feels like? :blush:

Link to comment
Guest Snow Angel
I found out that he had been cheating on me.

Welcome to womanhood.

Is this what falling in love feels like?

Yes and no. What you're feeling now is the initial infatuation and wanting things to be like this forever. All relationships that start out well feel like this. If you still feel like this in 1 or 2 years, that's real love.

Link to comment
Guest Mr. Fox
Yes and no. What you're feeling now is the initial infatuation and wanting things to be like this forever. All relationships that start out well feel like this. If you still feel like this in 1 or 2 years, that's real love.

I'm not sure if that is how love works for everyone. Wait, are you just talking about infatuation that lasts a while, or infatuation that lasts forever. If you meant the former, never mind, but if you meant the latter I don't think that my mother has ever felt this kind of love, and she has only had real love with my father. She, however, is cold and logical, and I think incapable of feeling strong emotions.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Love - weither we want to admit to it or not we all want to feel it.

I'm sure we all agree that it feels like we have to test the character of the person who you are involved with when you explain your situation.

It is a hard hit that's not easy to just walk away from Shimmeringkrystal. I've had to do it over and over (being that I am in early transition I do not pass as female) - I've gotten very comfortable with telling people who are interested in me before I invest any emotions or time. I know that it will spare me a lot of set backs and hurt feelings.

YOU are worth someones time and YOU deserve to be loved, don't bet yourself up about that when your down ;). I'm happy for you - take a deep breath and step back every once in a while though to keep ur head straight.:)

I have to disagree and agree with Kelly, I disagree because everyone is different and people and situations vary so I think love is not on a "timeline." I agree because sometimes infatuation can mask itself as a feeling of love if you allow yourself to get caught up in it.

Link to comment
Guest Katie-Louise

I had a boyfriend but he didnt treat me properly so I got rid off him Ive got a vendetta against men now lol not all men but most Ive just been treated so badly by them and it will take a hell of a lot for them to gain my trust.

Link to comment
Guest raydub
...and it will take a hell of a lot for them to gain my trust.

and it sucks cause BAD guys make it harder for the NICE GUYS...sheesh!

:lol:

Ray

Link to comment
Guest Sheila

i'm not sure what true love feel like. my parents didn't love me and you have to nurture a child with love. my parents were never intimate with me, you have to raise your child with intimacey, holding them, hugging them and telling them you love them. i can't ever remember mom or dad ever once say they love me. now that i'm an adult my mom says she loves me but it's a little too late for that. so i have major intimatacy issues and will never experience true love. i do love music, i love my german shepherd dog she means more to me than you can imagine. so i'm not incapable of love. relationships sound so messed up. no one hardly ever stays together. it sounds like a heartbreak. i myself, i think i'm better off not to put myself in that position, ever. i'd like to add though, i've experienced lust, which i would often mistake for love. it is not. just thought i'd add my 2 cents on the matter.

Link to comment
Guest StrandedOutThere

Maybe. I've only been in love like 1 and a half times. The first time it was all consuming. She was all I thought about. When we looked at each other I would get that "butterflies" in the stomach feeling. I was so happy that people at work were even commenting that I was looking unusually well lately. It was crazy. I even felt like I needed less sleep in the beginning. Even now that we are not together, I still have those same feelings for her. Oh well, if it is meant to be then we'll get back together. Oh, my love life is complex...

Glad to hear you are happy! That's so awesome! Run with it and enjoy the ride!

Link to comment
Guest Drew
Maybe. I've only been in love like 1 and a half times. The first time it was all consuming. She was all I thought about. When we looked at each other I would get that "butterflies" in the stomach feeling. I was so happy that people at work were even commenting that I was looking unusually well lately. It was crazy. I even felt like I needed less sleep in the beginning. Even now that we are not together, I still have those same feelings for her. Oh well, if it is meant to be then we'll get back together. Oh, my love life is complex...

Glad to hear you are happy! That's so awesome! Run with it and enjoy the ride!

ah yes, that all consuming feeling...if you can keep that up for a long time (a little toned down however) that's love. personally, when i'm in love i'm easily distracted (not from her, from everything else :rolleyes: ) i even had an incident falling down a flight of stairs :lol: (gotta keep my eyes where they should be :P )

Stranded, i think everyone's love lives are complex...but then what do i know... i'm just a kid ;)

Link to comment
Guest J-Walker

Remember to always put YOU first!

Boys are hot and always looking for physical romance but every now and then you get someone who loves you for being you and it sounds like so far so good. The only problem that arises is that people grow at different rates. Like with your last boyfriend, you just grew up a lot quicker than he did and now he's stuck as an immature little child. You can continue to love someone forever; you just may not feel the same intimacy after a while. In this case, it sounds like both of you have a lot of growing you can do together, which is perfect for a new relationship.

Congratulations on the new man. Hold him tight or I may come and steal little Mr. Bisexual. XP

Link to comment
Guest shimmeringkristal
When we looked at each other I would get that "butterflies" in the stomach feeling.

We have gotten to know so much about eachother. There have been times that we just sat a talked for hours about everything and anything. We have talked so much that we have learned so much about each other. Lately I have been getting this feeling every time that I am around him. I feel as though every butterfly on earth has taken up residency in my stomach. Every time we go out he makes sure that I am comfortable with where we are going and what we are doing. That and he wants me to be myself. He treats me with nothing but respect as the woman that I aspire to be.

I can't wait for the weekend after this one cause he is taking me out for the weekend to a resort down by Branson Missouri. He even has me booked at a spa there. This is going to be my first vacation in almost 8 years. I am like soooo looking forward to it, especially if it is with him.

Link to comment
and it sucks cause BAD guys make it harder for the NICE GUYS...sheesh!

:lol:

Ray

Your absolutly right Ray lol. ;). But I understand where she is coming from.

Link to comment
Guest raydub

kristal, the vacation sounds like its going to be good stuff. enjoy yourself honey.. 8 year? you DESERVE a vacation.. its a bonus that youre going with this guy who sounds AMAZING. Good for you hon!!!

Your absolutly right Ray lol. ;). But I understand where she is coming from.

i understand too.. its all good.. if they are REALLY nice guys..they wont mind the little extra time it takes to win the lady's heart. :blush:

;)

Ray

Link to comment
Guest Drew

8 years?! wow! you really do deserve a vacation. enjoy yourself! this guy really does sound amazing, the ultimate gentleman.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 122 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My bone structure is far more female than male.  I can't throw like a guy, which has been observed by guys numerous times, and moving like a woman is more natural.  It just is.  I'm not going out of my way to act in a fem. way, as you say, but I am letting go of some of the 'I am not going to move like that because I am a guy' stuff I have defensively developed.  The other breaks through anyway - there were numerous looks from people at work when I would use gestures that are forbidden to men, or say something spontaneously no guy would ever say.   At one point, maybe a year or more ago, I said it was unfair for people to think they were dealing with a man when they were actually dealing with a woman.    Girl here.  'What is a woman' is a topic for another day.
    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
    • Ashley0616
      Oversized pink shirt, pink and black sports bra
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think you mean the worst possible interpretation of 2025 situation.  Keep in mind that there are those who will distort and downright lie about anything coming from conservatives - I have seen it time and time again.  It's one of the reasons I want to read the thing slowly and carefully.  They want you to be very, very afraid. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Here is where the expectation is that the stereotypical evangelical comes in finger wagging, disapproving and condemning.    Not gonna do that.   You have to work these things out.  Transgender issues put a whole different spin on everything and God understands what we are going through. I have enough trouble over here.  :)
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...