Scared To See A Therapist.

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

Hi, I have been selfmedicating. Bad I know but I am way too scared to see a therapist because I only started feeling like this when I was about 12 and I don't even really know why. I guess I just got a bit jealous of the way girls get to dress and things and started feeling like Im really not a typicl guy. the only really girly things I remember doing when I was little was painting my toe nails and shaving my legs but I wasn't even thinking about being a girl. I just had fun doing it. In fact if you told me at that age that I wpd end up wanting to be a girl I would just think your being mean. I played with boys toys when I was little and had no problem with them at all I even had ninja turtle curtains when I was like 4 and I loved pokemon when it was all the hype. I pretended to like alot of stuff just to fit in though so I don't really know who I am. I sometimes can't sleep at night because when I lay there my whole body feels wrong and I really don't want to get told I have a mAsculine mind by a proffesional because it would cause alot of emotional problems for me. What do I do?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hi, I have been selfmedicating. Bad I know but I am way too scared to see a therapist because I only started feeling like this when I was about 12 and I don't even really know why. I guess I just got a bit jealous of the way girls get to dress and things and started feeling like Im really not a typicl guy. the only really girly things I remember doing when I was little was painting my toe nails and shaving my legs but I wasn't even thinking about being a girl. I just had fun doing it. In fact if you told me at that age that I wpd end up wanting to be a girl I would just think your being mean. I played with boys toys when I was little and had no problem with them at all I even had ninja turtle curtains when I was like 4 and I loved pokemon when it was all the hype. I pretended to like alot of stuff just to fit in though so I don't really know who I am. I sometimes can't sleep at night because when I lay there my whole body feels wrong and I really don't want to get told I have a mAsculine mind by a proffesional because it would cause alot of emotional problems for me. What do I do?

YES - bad idea to self medicate! PLEASE stop if you have not already. That said, yess... you belong here... and PLEASE understand we are not therapist and can only give you examples from our personal life experience. What you describe fits me somewhat (I am one of the older T-Girls here) and it was hard feeling I should have been a girl when I was younger, but I just went underground and pretended to be a boy.

The professional you worry about? Telling you you have a masculine mind maybe? Don't you see that is highly unlikely, and if it does happen, then you will know that is what it is. BUT a therapist is there to help you find yourself. They work it so eventually YOU make that decision, of who you are I mean.

Others will be here to explain more - and I see you are getting the hang of posting here, so GRAND!Glad you joind us.

Lizzy

[JenniferB]

It even sounds more like you need a GT. The GT will help you explore where you are on the gender spectrum. There aren't only transsexuals. There are cross dressers, and androgynous people too. A good GT should lead you in the right direction.

12 years old is not uncommon for people to start wondering about their gender identity.

Love Jenny

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

YES - bad idea to self medicate! PLEASE stop if you have not already. That said, yess... you belong here... and PLEASE understand we are not therapist and can only give you examples from our personal life experience. What you describe fits me somewhat (I am one of the older T-Girls here) and it was hard feeling I should have been a girl when I was younger, but I just went underground and pretended to be a boy.

The professional you worry about? Telling you you have a masculine mind maybe? Don't you see that is highly unlikely, and if it does happen, then you will know that is what it is. BUT a therapist is there to help you find yourself. They work it so eventually YOU make that decision, of who you are I mean.

Lizzy

Why is it unlikely? If it does happen I don't want to believe it is what it is. I would try to ignore the whole opinion but it would be some what difficult if it was a proffesional that told me.

[Guest Ev.]

Well, I can't answer for what you should do. I myself am holding off on arranging for a gender therapist because the therapist I have now, while not fully in agreement that I am "transgendered", challenges me in certain ways that have very much so helped for me to develope and grow as a person. She never mentioned my gender/sex for over 2yrs, then the first session where I truly started talking about it, she ended up calling me a man, twice - usually sticking with neutral things like individual/person/adult, and so on.

It really, really bugged me and made me depressed for a while. Then I got massively angry about it and sort of beat the depression by going "you know what, so what if she thinks this or that, its about what I think/feel so screw her!" Suffice to say that I've gotten over the anger now and am actually more comfortable with her - and myself - now than I was before.

So yes, if a doc/therapist does tell you that you have a masculine/male mindset or whatever... well, so? Yes it might annoy you, or depress you but ultimately you'll decide that it doesn't matter what they think - but what you think. Your belief in that will then change their own belief, sooner or later, I think. If it doesn't, well, maybe that particular individual is very close-minded and it might be worthwhile looking for a new therapist, or second opinion/whatever.

Mind you, I was in therapy for over a year before I mentioned my desire to be a women, and another year after that before I was ready to finally delve into it (rather than dance around the issue).

I'm not sure if any of the above is of any use or value to you though, I hope it does help in some way or another however. Ultimately the only one to decide how you are or feel is yourself, no one else.

~Ev.

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

It even sounds more like you need a GT. The GT will help you explore where you are on the gender spectrum. There aren't only transsexuals. There are cross dressers, and androgynous people too. A good GT should lead you in the right direction.

12 years old is not uncommon for people to start wondering about their gender identity.

Love Jenny

But I don't want to be a x dresser. Hell I Dont even want to be trans. I want to be a cis tendered girls but that's never going to happen.

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

Thanks that does help. I don't need a therapist to tell me who

I an I need one to write put a perscription for

me. I also must apologise foe my spelling and grammar as I not using a computer.

[Carolyn Marie]

Trisha, a therapist isn't going to write you a prescription. Unless laws are a lot different in Australia, only a medical doctor can do that. But the therapist is necessary to inform the doctor that they believe you are transsexual, and that you understand what transitioning is all about, including the physical dangers. They are also important to help you work through any issues that could impact your transition. Most transfolk have other issues, like family, coming out, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and all kinds of

other issues. They help you with those, as well as open the door to transition.

You must understand, Trisha, that there is no shortcut to becoming a woman. There is no easy road. The one you think is easy, the self-medicating road, can lead you to a cliff that you will fall from. At the bottom of that cliff is stroke, kidney and liver damage, heartache and self destruction.

No one here can make you do things our way. We have no control over you. All we can do is try to persuade you to do this the sensible way.

It would be easy to say, "Don't worry, you'll be fine" and write you off. We won;t do that, Trisha. I won't do that.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest kelise]

Hey, sweetheart. There's no need to fear. A professional knows they are not there to tell you who you are, they're there to help you figure out where you want to be and how to get there. And what you said about your childhood, don't worry that sounds just like the childhood of many girls I know, including the one typing this message. It sounds to me like this really didn't just start at 12, you just realized it then.

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

Hey, sweetheart. There's no need to fear. A professional knows they are not there to tell you who you are, they're there to help you figure out where you want to be and how to get there. And what you said about your childhood, don't worry that sounds just like the childhood of many girls I know, including the one typing this message. It sounds to me like this really didn't just start at 12, you just realized it then.

Thanks you have no idea how much that means for me to heat that. I know this girl online from Norse and she says it took her 3 years to find someone who would approve her for a perscription so that kind of scares me.

[Guest Opal]

Thanks you have no idea how much that means for me to heat that. I know this girl online from Norse and she says it took her 3 years to find someone who would approve her for a perscription so that kind of scares me.

Hi again Trisha,

Do you know if the girl from Norse was self-medicating prior to getting a prescription? I would guess that she was not. Given the information you have given us about yourself, a Therapist here would very likely provide a HRT letter quickly to get you away from self-medicating.

From the perspective of the Therapist, they are taking on a lot of responsibility to recommend hormones to a patient who is not taking them. However, in a case where their patient is already self medicating, the Therapist and Doctor are now taking steps to help their patient from harming herself by means of a more regulated and monitored hormone regimen. Does this make sense to you?

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

Hi again Trisha,

Do you know if the girl from Norse was self-medicating prior to getting a prescription? I would guess that she was not. Given the information you have given us about yourself, a Therapist here would very likely provide a HRT letter quickly to get you away from self-medicating.

From the perspective of the Therapist, they are taking on a lot of responsibility to recommend hormones to a patient who is not taking them. However, in a case where their patient is already self medicating, the Therapist and Doctor are now taking steps to help their patient from harming herself by means of a more regulated and monitored hormone regimen. Does this make sense to you?

Huggs,

Opal

She tried but couldn't get the pills delivered to her country. I am going to see doctor on Monday. Fingers crossed for it all going well.

[Guest Donna Jean]

She tried but couldn't get the pills delivered to her country. I am going to see doctor on Monday. Fingers crossed for it all going well.

The very best of luck to you on Monday with the therapist....

You know, things go much quicker with therapists if gender identity is the base reason that you are there...

If you are going for others reasons and will tell that you're a female later, it may take a while longer...

Good luck, Honey...

Donna Jean

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

The very best of luck to you on Monday with the therapist....

You know, things go much quicker with therapists if gender identity is the base reason that you are there...

If you are going for others reasons and will tell that you're a female later, it may take a while longer...

Good luck, Honey...

Donna Jean

Thanks, From what I have read it needs to be a gender therapist?

[JJ]

Hi Trisha

How did the Dr visit go?

Please let us know and tell us how you're doing

Hugs

JJ

[Guest Donna Jean]

Thanks, From what I have read it needs to be a gender therapist?

That's the way to go, Hon...

A regular therapist may not be willing to write your HRT letter...

If you get a regular therapist, ask them if they follow the SOC and will be wiling to write your HRT letter when ready....ok?

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

Hi Trisha

How did the Dr visit go?

Please let us know and tell us how you're doing

Hugs

JJ

You're going to hate me for this but I have decided to not go intill saturday when I have some free time.

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

That's the way to go, Hon...

A regular therapist may not be willing to write your HRT letter...

If you get a regular therapist, ask them if they follow the SOC and will be wiling to write your HRT letter when ready....ok?

Huggs

Donna Jean

I don't think it works like that but I guess I could call up and ask if its okay.

[Guest Donna Jean]

I don't think it works like that but I guess I could call up and ask if its okay.

You don't think what works like that?

Donna Jean

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

You don't think what works like that?

Donna Jean

From what I have read I think it needs to be a gender therapist.

[Guest Donna Jean]

From what I have read I think it needs to be a gender therapist.

OHHhh...well, any therapist can do it, but, if they're not a trained gender therapist it will take longer and they'll train on your time and dime...

But a regular therapist CAN write you an HRT letter...

But, most shy away from that....

Donna Jean

[Guest I'm Trisha now]

OHHhh...well, any therapist can do it, but, if they're not a trained gender therapist it will take longer and they'll train on your time and dime...

But a regular therapist CAN write you an HRT letter...

But, most shy away from that....

Donna Jean

I think I would rather see a regular therapist then.

What exactly do you mean by train on my dime?

[Carolyn Marie]

Trisha, a lot depends on the availability of a G.T. If there is one in your town, and they are available to see you, then I would encourage you to see them. You have a fear that the process will take too long. Seeing a G.T. rather than a regular therapist should, not always but should, speed the process up. That's because they will already be familiar with transgender issues, with the SOC, with HRT and all the other issues that come up with transition.

A regular therapist may need time to study up, they may be reluctant, as Donna Jean says, to authorize HRT, and they likely won;t know how to handle transition-related questions and concerns that you have.

On the other hand, if there is no G.T. close by, or they are booked up for months, or they cost too much, then you may want to compromise and try a regular therapist. It really depends on your situation.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

But I don't want to be a x dresser. Hell I Dont even want to be trans. I want to be a cis tendered girls but that's never going to happen.

Same for me.

I don't want to be a crossdresser (My therapist says I never really was)

I dont LIKE being transsexual (It's a very complicated and stressful life)

I want to have been born female, never knowing what it is to be like I am now.

We transsexual are such mealancholy creatures...

Lizzy

[Guest Ev.]

Wow. Never knew regular therapists could write the letter for HRT, thats nice to hear as I really really like my therapist and am improving a whole lot with her help. Imma have to ask her about this during our next session, see if she would be comfortable doing that at some point down the line if and when I decide its what I want.

Trisha, I don't think anyone hear wants to be trans. I certainly don't. I just want to be a normal girl, alas that was kinda denied me 21yrs ago so... plan B lol. That said I spent quite a few years refusing to look at anything related to sex-change surgery (where my limited knowledge about MtF stuff started and ended) because I didn't want to be "different", just wanted to be a normal girl and obviously wanted so gave up hope. My current frame of mind? I would rather be trans and happy, even with all the extra complications and family awkwardness, than a normal guy and miserable.

~Ev.