So Confused

[Guest jadynriley]

So I’ve been searching for information on top surgery lately because I want it done mid next year if possible but every doctor/surgeon that does it (that I’ve checked so far) requires a letter from a gender therapist…now I don’t have a gender therapist nor do I have one in my area, all of them are about an hour or 2 away (at least by the list I found on here). Anyway by the guidelines I don’t think they are going to take a letter from my regular therapist and I don’t know what to do because I really want top surgery and I’m willing to drive an hour or 2 every once in a while but If I talk to a gender therapist I doubt I will get a letter for many reasons anyway.

I do not fully want to live male (i just want my chest removed) and I read living 1 year fully male is a requirement with some therapists…I also do not want hormone treatments at all and I don’t think you can have surgery with out them.

I want top surgery and to wear more gender neutral/male clothes (but I have to admit to you I do like the way a dress feels and looks so I may not fully give them up) I also want to cut my hair some (its in the middle of my back now and it aggravates me, I want it like shoulder length or a little shorter – I just haven’t cut it because my husband likes it but oh well I’m thinking about me for once) I also enjoy wearing makeup (foundation/cover up, eyeliner and eyes shadow but nothing else…well carmax too but that’s not really makeup) I also hate body hair (my reason for not wanting hormones)…I guess you can say I’m a pretty boy or whatever name you wish to come up with…

I’ve read a lot where people on other sites say therapists don’t like someone that feels between genders to have any cosmetic surgery because they think they will regret it and it cant be reversed (which honestly it can, by having implants like a MTF would but whatever makes them sleep at night) I’ve thought about it my whole life (well as long as I can remember) and I wont regret it. when I was little I always stuffed the downstairs with a sock and ran around without a shirt until I got a chest around 13years old (my mother has always been fairly supportive and has always let me be who I feel I am) I only changed to presenting fully female to make school easier on me because well most of you know kids in general are really mean to anyone not like them.

Anyway now that I’ve pretty much wrote a book that is probably a bunch of gibberish and ramblings, what do you think? What should I do? Would a letter from a therapist I’ve been to for 2 years off and on work? (I only go when I’m having trouble with something and I’ve never really discussed the gender thing with her but I know she would write the letter for me if I asked) or do I really have to go to a gender therapist? Also if I go to a gender therapist should I be completely honest about it all and chance being denied a letter or just tell them I want to go fully male and take the hormones and do every thing they want and just stop them after surgery? Ugh, idk…I need help.

[Guest Donna Jean]

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Honey.....now is the time for leg work.....

You need to do some research and phone calls.....e-mails work, too...

Talk to the therapist that you've been going to and see if they would write a letter for the reasons that you gave above...

E-mail some doctors and see if they'd be willing to do the surgery sans letter...tell them that you'd be happy to sign a release form if they would agree..

There are many GT's out there that uderstand the "middle" genders and the need to only transition partially...send out some e-mails..We have people on this site that are on HRT and their doctor knows that they have no intention of a complete transition or even surgery of any kind...

Do your home work....it will pay off....ok?

Huggs

Donnna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Yes - what Dee Jay said, pretty much.

I am not sure top surgery requires a gender therapist to okay it. It makes sense to have that but there are probably ways around that requirement. As a MTF myself, I can have breast enhancement if I can find a surgeon to do it. But enhancement is fairly easy to reverse. In any case as I already have my SRS letter, it would not be difficult to show I am transitioning.

Many people here have to travel almost all day to get to a therapist and back home. It is the bane of transsexualism - poor selection for care-givers. I suppose we are either very rare - or no one doctor wants to fight the insurance companies.

Hope this helps.

Lizzy