Baptist Rejection

[Guest Kristi Lyn]

I grew up in a small Baptist church in rural midwest America. After my divorce and a stint with the Catholic church I wanted to return to where I grew up spiritually in the same little church. Last year when my mother passed away the current pastor of the church along with some of the deacons would come by for visits on a pretty regular basis. Of course, at this point only a few very close people knew of my GID so the church members had no idea. A few months after my mother had passed I came out to all and began my RLE and prepared to start HRT. One evening, the pastor came by and I was dressed in girl jeans and shirt with makeup. He asked me what was going on so I discussed my diagnosis and intentions of transitioning. He listened intently and I ended by asking him the level of acceptance from the church body if I came to church services during my transition presenting as female. He quickly explained he would have to speak with the church elders to see if it would be accepted and he would get back to me. I waited for a month and never heard from him. I finally seen him at the store about a week later and asked him what the verdict was. He replied the church elders were uncomfortable with me being present and asked if I would not return. So that ended that.

I have admit I was taken back by the stance but it really didnt surprise me either considering where I live and it is a Baptist church. But, I now contemplate all the teachings of acceptance of others no matter what or doing as Jesus would have done. Seems to be double standard there when a church will openly accept felony criminals by giving them money, jobs, and housing but reject a long time member who happens to be transgendered and only wants to attend services in their desired gender. My faith is strong and I have leaned upon what I have been taught for my life in christianity and especially now, so becuase of this it doesnt totally destroy my faith or my resolve to transition but I guess it was my first experience of rejection as being trangendered on a larger scale. But none the less an interesting experience for good thought on the genuiness of churches today.

[Guest April63]

I'm glad this event hasn't destroyed your faith. This happens a lot, and it is quite unfortunate. It is important to remember the difference between the people and the religion, but I think you know that already. So good for you

Religion can be a little difficult to work with. That is by design though. A lot of people don't understand doctrines, and have a very simple view of religion. It is truly sad that the leaders of this church missed such an essential point of love in this case, but oh well. Hopefully they will learn from their mistakes and become better people. That is something we should all strive to do.

[Guest Katrina Reann]

I too am glad this did not destroy your faith. This sort of thing happens a lot in the Christian Faith and denominations. And there can be a lot of judging, gossiping, and finger pointing. But don't let those things ever interfere with your faith in God. Because He is always with and He will never forsake you. And most of all He loves you more than anyone in this world. He also understands our struggle unlike many of those in mainstream Christianity....Huggsss

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Best thing to remember is that your faith is a personal thing and you have that....

Religion is man made rules that may or may not follow God's word...

Don't worry about them....ok?

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest Cris]

Kendal,

Most people in the religious world dont understand and look at transsexualism as a sexual fetish. I had many talks with my preacher, and even with a Christian counselor before my preacher said that I opened his mind, and that he needed to walk the talk. I met with our elders and then with the key leaders teams within the church. They now stand behind me. I still get looks occasionally and have had people go to the elders asking if they knew there is a trasvestite attending church here. They are quick to steer them straight. Maybe you need to meet with the elders.

The way I approached them is that I was born this way. That God knitted me in the womb exactly how I am. This is not a sexual perversion for me. I also showed them the section in the DSM that deals with gender.

Untill we all start to show our true selves to the world it will always be an uphill battle individually.

Cris

[Guest Kristi Lyn]

Thanks for the words of support, my faith remains and is a personal thing with me and does not depend on others opinions. It was a very interesting dichotomy to ponder though. When I came out a close friend and an aunt of mine brought forward the spirituality aspect of my "decision". "God made you the way you are and it is a sin to change your body" My response to that was,"Then how do you explain the gift that God has given the doctors to physically make things right with me through surgery and medications?" The question actually made them step back a bit and tell me, " Well I never really thought about it that way, maybe you're right"

Although I am spiritual, I still find that many within religion or the religion itself has tunnel vision and is narrow in reasoning and vision.

[Sally]

Kendal,

I am a deeply religious person, a Christian and I try to live a life in the ways that Jesus taught, it is not always easy but love is very powerful thing and it can change lives as much as hate can but I have not attended a church service in well over a year and a half.

I am not going to say that I do not attend because the church is full of hypocrites because as a former preacher at my old church said, "There is always room for one more," I am going to try to explain why I do not attend.

We have the guide, the Bible but it was written in languages that are not that precise, translated, edited and revised so many time that you cannot count them - regardless of the intentions whenever you get a group of people together to do anything a political aspect is involved - a power struggle is almost guaranteed.

Churches and all organized religions are the products of men - with their interpretations, spins and influences woven throughout.

They are imperfect and reflect the feelings of the organizers it is because of this that we have found various 'loop holes' in the love everyone and accept everyone teachings and have included the country club attitude of 'Heaven cannot be truly wonderful if everyone is allowed access," which of course goes directly against Jesus' teachings of acceptance.

If you bring a group of people together there will be frictions and smaller groups formed, then some will splitter from the first group and then repeat the process - all of the Christian churches - Catholic (in all of its various versions) and Protestant in all of its subdivision starting with its foundation church - Lutheran were born as a splinter from Judaism as the Roman Catholic Church and continued to divide ever since.

Each focusing on one or two points that they disagreed with the founding church and formed their own - the same is happening now for Homosexual and Transsexual congregations by forming little community gathering places that somehow will find their way together into a larger congregational society and eventually become another denomination and have sub groups splinter from it as well.

So I pray alone and observe the wonders of nature, treat people like I want them to treat me and know in my heart that God is not impressed by church attendance or large donations to charities - only by what is truly in your heart and that is a very personal relationship that does not have to be shared with everyone in any way other than treating them with love and respect.

Love ya,

Sally

[gennee]

It's wonderful that your faith is strong and that your desire to serve is evident.

God has something different for each person It may or may not involve our church

home. It can get lonely but God has a way for all of us to travel. My condolences

on your mother's passing.

Gennee

[Guest harvester52]

I'm glad to hear this has not destroyed your faith as it nearly did to me years ago when I was excommunicated from a church. It's a difficult thing to deal with, but know that God will always be there for you, regardless of what human-built churches say. He loves you for who you are, no matter what. Here's a little Bible verse that comforts me in those times:

"As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to the promise." Galatians 3:27-29

And the people above are right... He knit you together in your mother's womb, and knew every intricate detail of your life before you were born! I don't know about you, but I was born with a male mind. It showed even in my earliest childhood. If a church denies a transgender person, it is no different than denying a mentally handicapped person. We have a medical condition that requires medical transition to heal. Take comfort in knowing that you have the LORD on your side, and that's all that matters!

-Fr. BC

[Guest EvenClose]

Its my personal opion but (here goes nothin)

I honestly believe god gave us all things we must go through. Having faith is like realizing that you don't have to follow a path of hate.

Love is so complicated yet so simple. Conscious and unconscious acceptance of the will of a better tomorrow for yourself and all.

Its a hard concept. Its not an easy realization. But once anyone of any faith realizes that every day is a journey to a better world then

difference seems to matter less and less.

Im sorry that the church was less than accepting. I grew up in a small baptist chuch myself. They too were less than accepting.

It hurt me quite a bit, but finally at some point like many have pointed out, I realized that its ok. My relationship within my personal faith is just

on a different level.

As long as hate doesn't block their mind from forming a honest opion of you, then might as well let them be.

Its better to hold your head high and let them see you as such an amazing person that can't be ignored than a

grumpy ol' troll.

Then and only then will they see that god has freed the blind, and to see you as god see's you.

Don't give up.

Curing the blind..such an amazing statement. Also amazing that we assume that the person cured had no sight.

Maybe they just couldn't see the world from the eyes of a higher power eh?

If that is the case then we have a lot of people who needed cured.

Keep your faith and head held high. Its ok to smile when you understand and they don't. Its just your path. We never know the path of others

[Guest SometimesErica]

Kendal,

Most people in the religious world dont understand and look at transsexualism as a sexual fetish. I had many talks with my preacher, and even with a Christian counselor before my preacher said that I opened his mind, and that he needed to walk the talk. I met with our elders and then with the key leaders teams within the church. They now stand behind me. I still get looks occasionally and have had people go to the elders asking if they knew there is a trasvestite attending church here. They are quick to steer them straight. Maybe you need to meet with the elders.

The way I approached them is that I was born this way. That God knitted me in the womb exactly how I am. This is not a sexual perversion for me. I also showed them the section in the DSM that deals with gender.

Untill we all start to show our true selves to the world it will always be an uphill battle individually.

Cris

Cris,

I really appreciated reading your comments. Your comment about people seeing transsexualism as a fetish really resonated with me. I have been a Christian since a very early age and due to my upbringing religiously and socially I convinced myself for years that my feminine desires were really a fetish that I needed to rid myself of. I am still trying to understand my desires to be a woman and how to reconcile that with my faith, but I appreciate hearing from people like you.

Erica