Need Some Help

[Guest FebruaryFalls]

Well, recently I've been coming a lot more serious about the thought that I may be FTM. I've been talking with my girlfriend about it and tonight we had a really great chat about everything about me and our relationship..

The issue now is getting help. I've been scouring the net and I've yet been succesful in locating a gender therapist in my location (New Brunswick, specifically around Moncton - Canada)

I've been having increased amounts of dysphoria and I'm pretty set on cutting off all my hair. But I really want to talk with a GT first. I've been looking into online, but I get so nervous when the chat bubble appears that I close out of it.

On top of that, I don't know how helpful online therapy is, as I don't believe they can perscribe hormones...

I'm basically in a really rough spot right now...I've always had difficulty drawing attention to myself, I like being easy going, but this is going to involve flipping a lot of peoples lives upside down and I really want to talk to somebody before I start changing my body image...even though I'm pretty set on starting to make my appearance more manly.

Another thing to ask is, what kind of haircut do you think I should go for and do you think I have any chance of passing prior to T?

Sorry, I don't really have many photos where I'm not doing something, and just, standing for a picture...I can try and take some others if it's unclear...I know it's hard to tell because I have long hair...but...just if anyone has any hairstyle tips I'd love to know.

I'm sorry I'm just in a very stressed out state right now and I don't have anyone to talk to

[Guest Donna Jean]

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Hey, Hon......

Let me try to help you out a little...OK?

First...here is the list of Gender therapist ....

http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm

Look through this and see what you thing...

And, I can assure you that any "Online Gender Therapist" that you find on that list is valid...There are a number of boys and girls from this site that used them and their letter is good for a doctor to prescribe HRT from...

As to your hair?..Heck, cut it short and give it to me...I love it!

Let me know if I can be of more help....ok?

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest FebruaryFalls]

So far so good, I checked the list but there's nothing remotely close to my area...I did however find a transgender support group in my area, so I may look into e-mailing the co-ordinator of that and asking for some advice aha

As for the hair, I'd love to pass it along...if I could handle it for another 4-5 months I'd try to get it long enough to donate to cancer before I cut it, but we'll see what I can manage...the urge to just hack away with some scissors is overwhelming aha

I'm just feeling a little lost upstream without a paddle right now

[Guest Sharah]

Hi and welcome to Laura's. I am using one of the online thera[ists from the list that Donna Jean sent you and I can tell you I love her and the sessions are fantastic. As long as you are ok with chat software online therapy can be very good. My therapist is a certified GT and her letters are accepted by any physician for hormone therapy.

Here at Laura's you will find a whole lot of wonderful people who are caring and supportive. No one is interested in pressuring you in any way as we all know, only too well, that this journey is very personal and that only YOU can decide who you are and what you need to do. We will be here to support you and care about you and hopefully offer your some helpful advice about how to travel on your road to peace and contentment.

Let me offer you some of Sally's fabulous cookies and a cup of Donna Jean's home made cocoa, sit down, kick off your shoes and relax. Now you can tell us a little about yourself.

[JJ]

Donna Jean is right about the online therapists and finding a therapist though your local support goup is an excellent plan.

This is a great place to ask questions and explore your feelings or express them.

We've all been there to some degree and we understand the confusion and conflicts you feel. Please feel free to past as much as you like -we'll be happy to help or listen.

From what I see of the pictures you have a strong face and with short hair and attitude should pass. It is harder to tell with your hair long.

Were you singing? We have lots of musicians here too.

JohnJ

[Guest FebruaryFalls]

Yes I was singing aha, I'm huge into music...that's actually another one of my concerns, I worried about how my singing will change on T if I go that route, I already have a deep, strong, powerful voice when it comes to singing and I sing in a lower register than most girls, so I think I might be okay, but I'm still worried about losing a lot of my range.

Thanks for the comments on my photos, it's reassuring to know that there's a chance I could make it... people already say I'm more a guy than most bio-males attitude and interest wise so I think I could cover it if I decide to go through with things.

[Guest Annaemo]

There are so many types of male haircut actually. And my hair seems to grow into its own style so pretty much the same style since I was 10. If your family and friends don't mind you can buzz it off and see how it feels. If your still nervous maybe an androgynous hairstyle would be fine. Just remember guys hair is all about side burns! I think any cut with nice male sideburns would really make you look different. Please show the results!

[Guest FebruaryFalls]

Internet just messed up as I was typing this

Anyways, I ended up getting my hair cut saturday because it turned out that my hair was just long enough to donate to Locks of Love, so that was really cool.

I find that it can definitely look masculine, but it's more of an adorable masculine I suppose (I'm 20, but it kinda makes me look 15 aha) But it's also neutral enough that people that I've known for a long time aren't freaking out or anything and so far I've gotten nothing but positive responses.

I might end up reposting the pictures somewhere's else, but let's test drive these bad boys here.

I think it looks more masculine with a hat on, which is actually really exciting because I love hats but I look horrible with them when I have long hair, so I went a little hat crazy after the cut aha

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Ok.....I gotta say that I really do like it....

Way more of a masculine effect that the way it was....and the great cause the hair went to was way cool!

You're doing it right!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest FebruaryFalls]

Thanks so much Donna!

I know it's not perfect yet, but I'm not quite at the stage where I want to completely pass. I'm fine with being able to walk around the mall have a couple people really have to look at me to tell (if I'm wearing a hoodie, at least, otherwise, my..frontals kind of give it away)

Next step in my plan is work off some of the weight on my hips/love handles, probably get some compression shorts actually, and order in a binder.

I'm bassically taking things one step at a time

I've talked with the online GT. Still working on getting fully started though...but this feels good, the hair is a definite confidence booster, but now I just feel way more dysphoric about my hips :S

And of course, the biggest upside, my girlfriend loves the hair, she's actually worried about more people becoming attracted to me now because I look more like a guy ahah. I doubt that, but it's nice to hear.