Having Trouble Stepping Into The Woman's Section.

[Guest Zoe_Ikeda]

I hit a major psychological road block today . Since I currently present as a male, I have a lot of trouble shopping for womens' clothes without just quickly grabbing random items off of the hangers and rushing to the checkout.

I feel like I'm walking into a place I don't belong, which is really unsettling to me considering that is where I would like to be. I have been shopping online, and all things considered its going alright, but I would really like to get over this, I think, irrational fear of other people judging me while I shop for clothes.

I will probably talk to my therapist about this, but I would really like others insight as well.

If anyone else felt this way, how did you get over it?

[Guest Chrysee]

I've told this story before, but. . .

I have enjoyed ogling the women's section my whole life. I simply told anyone with me that i was imagining someone I knew wearing this or that item.

Now before I came out, I went shopping with my girlfriend. We went to a section of town known for being 'hippie-dippie' and started checking out used clothing exchange stores. First, let me say that some of the things that you find in these places will absolutely blow you away. They sell things for peanuts that are name brands and look as if they've never been worn.

At any rate, I was looking for jeans and found nothing in the Men's. Well, since I have been into Unisexual clothing since high school (pretty much when it first arrived on the scene!) I just went into the Ladies. I found a pair of red (women's) jeans and headed for the (women's) dressingroom. When I came out, a woman waiting to use the booth took a second to look at me. I gave her a questioning look and a shrug, as if asking how I looked in them. She held up her finger and twirled it, asking me to turn around. Now I was getting into it! (Whadya mean 'now'?)

After turning, I stood there smiling--pleased with myself--and she smiled back, nodding.

So I passed inspection and felt triumphant, leaving the store in my (women's) jeans from the (women's). . .oh the heck with it. You know.

The thing is, I never felt like I had entered someplace where I didn't belong. . .Nor was I looked upon that way as far as I could tell.

Welcome to the 21st Century, Zoe!

[Guest audrey michelle]

i was verrrry nervous to go into the women's section too but it needed to be done. so i just sucked it up and went for it. the first few times are uneasy and nerve wrecking but youll get over it and learn to not care if you get stares or whatever. i say to just go for it, get what you need to get, and then pay. itll be easier the more you do it

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Ok, I'll admit it.....at first I was scared!

Absolutely...

I'd have my wife with me and point to things that I wanted and have her carry them up front...

But, then we'd go somewhere and when I got ready to go in she'd say, I'm staying the car...

So, it was sink or swim for me!

So?

I did it...I started to get what I wanted and dang the rest....my money was as good as anyone's .....right?

Heck, buying women's clothes isn't like buying beer....you don't need an ID!

Donna Jean

[Guest ErikW]

I just started for woman's clothes a few weeks ago and it was incredibly nerve-racking at first but I told myself that if I cant get over shopping in the woman's section, how am I going to have confidence down the road to step out into public dressed as a woman? I sucked it up and its starting to feel a little more natural. Also, the people at the register don't care what you buy and I guarantee that you will probably never see the same cashier, same people in line, or same people in the store ever again. You are just one in million out in public You can do it Zoe!!!! Just take a leap of faith!!!!!!

Hugs

Erika

[Guest Zoe_Ikeda]

Welcome to the 21st Century, Zoe!

Heck, buying women's clothes isn't like buying beer....you don't need an ID!

Hehehe.

Thanks, girls. I'm going to give it another go tomorrow. The more I think about this issue, the more irrational I seem. I mean, I wouldn't really care if a male bought females clothes, if anything I would be envious. Plus, at the very worse I may get a few stares, maybe a comment or two, if I'm shopping with rude people. Its nothing that I wouldn't forget about as soon as I left the store.

Goodness! I was in the navy. I should have a thicker skin than this.

Also, I love this place.

[Guest ErikW]

You're welcome dear, we are always here for you!

[Guest HaileyR]

I'm a minor so when I looked male and went shopping I would just stick close to her and play "I wish I wasn't here" with my face. We talked as if we were either shopping for her or for "my sister" in case other shoppers overheard and at the checkout I would go browse at random stuff so I wasn't standing there as the cashier checked out panties and teenage girls clothes to a middle aged woman and a teenage boy.

[Guest Zoe_Ikeda]

I did it!!! I went to a local goodwill and bought several pairs of name brand blue jeans and a few shirts. The store didn't have any short skirts my size though .

The cashier looked more uncomfortable ringing the items up than I was purchasing them. I just stood their striking a feminine pose until she was done and then walked out triumphant.

I realized a couple things while I was shopping, that people really didn't care, and that I spend entirely too much time worrying about hypothetical judgmental people. Life is too darn short.

Oh, and the jeans fit wonderfully! but some of the shirts were a little small. I don't know if they were meant to slightly expose my midriff, or if I am too tall.

Oh anyway, what a wonderful day!!! And thanks again for all your advice.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Good on you , Honey!

That's the way to do it!

Remember....90% of the things that we worry about never happen!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[JenniferB]

Women's jeans, pants, shirts, and blouses fit different than men's. You can tell if you are paying attention and know what you are looking for.

All Goodwill stores I go to have dressing rooms. That's a lot better than having to bring the clothes back. And no one will care. Now I can shop for women's clothes as a man or woman and it doesn't bother me at all.

I remember feeling the same way you did Zoe. But it sure was a high when I got the clothes to the car and when I tried them on at home. In no time shopping will become second nature and far more enjoyable.

Jenny

[Guest Felicia Anne]

i need to start doing this soon... trick is (at the risk of shattering any images people have about me), i am amazonian. i am a male xl (trying very hard to just be an l, and considering i was once a xxl, not bad) who stands 6 feel tall without the heels. it's hard enough shopping (confidence is building, but not certain), but harder to find things in your size. still, i hope to get more shopping done soon. i long to become more like horror actress julie strain, who is self-described as "six foot two, and well worth the climb!", and learning to shop is part of getting there.

[Guest paddy]

When I first began shopping for women's clothing I was exceedingly self-conscious, particularly went shopping for bras, after some 10 years, I just go looking for what I need and if I can't find it I ask for assistance.

There have been occasions, when shopping in male mode, a shop assistant has asked who is the item for I say its for me.

Patricia

[Guest Melissa 67]

When ever I plan to go out clothes shopping I just call the store before hand and ask to speak to the manager. I ask them some question about their womens clothing, but what I'm really trying to do is guage their reaction when they realize it's a guy calling to buy women's clothing. It works pretty good, I'm able to tell who's okay with it and who is stand offish or definitly not okay with it. It works out well, and usally when I find the right store the manager is all to wiiling to help me. Which I needed alot of in the beginning.

Melissa 67

[Guest Zoe_Ikeda]

@Jenny: Weeell, I know my sizes generally, but I'm more worried about the intent of the clothing. While shopping online I could always see how something fit the model in the pic and judge by that, but since sizes seem to be inconsistent depending on brand, I don't know how something is supposed to look on me by picking it off the rack.

@Felicia: If you have money to spend, maybe the trial and error of shopping online would be good to help gauge your size? It may, in the long run, be a waste of time and money to some, but thats where I started and probably would not have even thought of venturing into a woman's section without having done that first.

@Melissa: I like that idea . There are definitely certain stores which I would prefer to inquire over the phone about clothes first.

[Guest Patsy]

When I first began shopping for women's clothing I was exceedingly self-conscious, particularly went shopping for bras, after some 10 years, I just go looking for what I need and if I can't find it I ask for assistance.

There have been occasions, when shopping in male mode, a shop assistant has asked who is the item for I say its for me.

Patricia

Yes, I experienced that also, though infrequently, until I realised "Why?" usually put an end to it.

There was never the remotest chance of my ex being involved, so I had little choice, really.

They usually wanted my money more than they wanted to disapprove, fortunately.

Luv,

Patsy

[Guest Chrysee]

I did it!!! I went to a local goodwill and bought several pairs of name brand blue jeans and a few shirts. The store didn't have any short skirts my size though .

The cashier looked more uncomfortable ringing the items up than I was purchasing them. I just stood their striking a feminine pose until she was done and then walked out triumphant.

I realized a couple things while I was shopping, that people really didn't care, and that I spend entirely too much time worrying about hypothetical judgmental people. Life is too darn short.

Oh, and the jeans fit wonderfully! but some of the shirts were a little small. I don't know if they were meant to slightly expose my midriff, or if I am too tall.

Oh anyway, what a wonderful day!!! And thanks again for all your advice.

Congratulations!! Next up: shoes!

[Guest ma-head-a-spinnin]

I guess all cross such bridges when we come to them. (Not just the women's section)

In such a cause, I'd probably feel like my feet are nailed to the floor, while my stomach churns.

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

Hehehe.

Thanks, girls. I'm going to give it another go tomorrow. The more I think about this issue, the more irrational I seem. I mean, I wouldn't really care if a male bought females clothes, if anything I would be envious. Plus, at the very worse I may get a few stares, maybe a comment or two, if I'm shopping with rude people. Its nothing that I wouldn't forget about as soon as I left the store.

Goodness! I was in the navy. I should have a thicker skin than this.

Also, I love this place.

Lol, it seems like a lot of people who are Tans, Bi, gay, etc where in the navy I remember hering a captain was one.

I should join the navy that way

My parents when I come out of the navy will be shocked,

their response would be how could you do this,.

I DID join the navy I thought that was obivious enouph sign! lol

I think im going to try buying something i saw this in targets and died!

soo lets see if I work up enouph courage or stupidity to get it.

[Guest Zoe_Ikeda]

@Cynthia: Yeah, it did seem that there were quite a few gay people in the Navy, though it wasn't ever a good idea to come out while serving, and not just because of DADT either. Some commands had a lot of homophobes.

Also, I can't see you're image at all.

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

@Cynthia: Yeah, it did seem that there were quite a few gay people in the Navy, though it wasn't ever a good idea to come out while serving, and not just because of DADT either. Some commands had a lot of homophobes.

Also, I can't see you're image at all.

lol, I noticed people in the navy are very different and tend to be a little more open minded than others, I guess maybe cuz they deall with tons of different cultures and people, so they become more open minded and accepting?

I dont know cuz im not in the navy but thats what it seems

o here it is

http://www.target.com/Xhilaration-Juniors-Chemise-Black-Hearts/dp/B003MA7MXS/ref=br_1_8?ie=UTF8&id=Xhilaration%20Juniors%20Chemise%20Black%20Hearts&node=1293407011&searchSize=30&searchView=grid3&searchPage=1&sr=1-8&qid=1288209948&rh=target_com_primary_color-bin%3AMulticolor%7Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%3APink&searchBinNameList=style_name%2Csleeve_type%2Ccollar_style-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&searchRank=salesrank&frombrowse=1

1 its pink!

2 its a chemise

3 its pink

4 its nylon gottta be comfy

5 Did I say it was Pink!?

[Guest Chrysee]

@Cynthia: Yeah, it did seem that there were quite a few gay people in the Navy, though it wasn't ever a good idea to come out while serving, and not just because of DADT either. Some commands had a lot of homophobes.

Also, I can't see you're image at all.

Well, I grew up in a Navy town (Newport, Rhode Island.) Now at fifteen I took a job as an usher at a local theatre. Scads of lonely sailors swarmed to the theatre mostly to secretly drink (they were underage, remember, and couldn't make the bar scene even on the Base.) We used to end up calling the Shore Patrol a lot. All they ever seemed to be looking for was girls.

Hmm. Now I wonder.

Yeah, where's the image of this marvelous garment from Target?

[Guest Emily_MI]

I hit a major psychological road block today . Since I currently present as a male, I have a lot of trouble shopping for womens' clothes without just quickly grabbing random items off of the hangers and rushing to the checkout.

I feel like I'm walking into a place I don't belong, which is really unsettling to me considering that is where I would like to be. I have been shopping online, and all things considered its going alright, but I would really like to get over this, I think, irrational fear of other people judging me while I shop for clothes.

I will probably talk to my therapist about this, but I would really like others insight as well.

If anyone else felt this way, how did you get over it?

Sadly, I have the same fears as well. I live mylife still as a Male (sigh! ) and when I do go 'shopping' I either quickly go though the racks and pick things up and head to the quick checkout so I don't have to deal with any cashiers, or what I did the other day when shopping for a new pair of boots at Macy's, I said that it was a 'gift' for my girlfriend, I also made sure I got a gift receipt to make it a little more believable. I REALLY REALLY hate doing because I don't like to lie to anyone and feel ashamed in who I am, but at the same time I am still pretty much incognito currently and have to be careful. I get a lot of things online needless to say, I can't wait until I can walk into a store as my TRUE self one day though and just shop till I drop and not worry about anything anymore. One day......

[Guest Donna Jean]

I can't wait until I can walk into a store as my TRUE self one day though and just shop till I drop and not worry about anything anymore. One day .....

Yes, Honey....one day.......

One day.....

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest kelise]

Oh, sweety. I'm right there with you. I can even say I'm so chicken, I've NEVER gone shopping in the Women's section while in male mode (that feels weird typing that now). I first started exploring at age 10, in my mom's closet. Gradually my colloection grew from things I found in the trash or the lost and found at school. My first time out in public I was 16. WE didn't have internet then, so I would go out in the crappy trash clothes I had found and maybe some things I "borrowed" from mom. I must've looked rediculous, but I still felt more comfortable going into the women's section dressed that way than as a man. Once I started buying my own clothers, my wardrobe expanded and I'm sure I looked better, and that's how I did it.