Accidentally Outed Myself

[Guest JayJaye]

I recently had to change emails, but back in January I knew it was coming and made a backup email, before my major AHA! discovery of me being trans. So I had to start using it the past 2 weeks, and because it contained my given name it's been grating on me every time I use it. While on vacation I made a new one, but forgot that I signed up with my new male name, though the email was primarily initials. So I emailed a few people to tell them my new email, and it came up as being from my Male Name!!!!!! To people I wasn't yet out to.

OOPS.

So now I came out to an old college buddy, and when California time rolls around I'm going to have to explain it to my online job people. Not exactly how I planned to come out...

Jay

[Guest raydub]

>.< doh!

sorry to hear that.

you never know.. might turn out to be a good starting point in coming out in general.

<--- trying to look at the bright side.

good luck man!

Ray

[Guest JayJaye]

Who knows, maybe subconsciously I just want to come out and get it over with. That should teach me to hit SEND before thinking things through. My online job is in CA so it shouldn't be an issue anyway; I'm just going to wait and see if anyone noticed before I say anything though.

My college buddy was like, um, who is Jay?

My new therapist has been so helpful I feel really comfortable with myself.

Jay

[Guest CharTo]

haha, yay for awkward coming outs. I hope they all work out and like you said, get it over with.

I made my email, facebook, + myspace to say Charlie now with the gender being set to F ^^. Funny thing is that no one's questioning me.

[Guest raydub]

I made my email, facebook, + myspace to say Charlie now with the gender being set to F ^^. Funny thing is that no one's questioning me.

I did the same thing Charlie.. and no one said a THING. Of course I then took it upon myself to talk to a few people about it. Cant have my profile saying "male" and have comments and notes that have SHE and SIS *wretch* all over them.

Ray

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Jay,

Not cool. Not cool at all! Hopefully it won't be a big deal though...

I almost outed myself in a very similar way. It was my "alternate" gmail account that almost got me. Only by accident did I catch it.

You know, to some extent I am deliberately not careful hiding stuff. It's like, in a way, I want people to go wonder about stuff and ask me. I think it is less awkward than trying to figure out how to bring up the subject. This isn't how I'd want to come out to close friends and family, but for people at work/school and acquaintances, it's not so bad.

Still, thinking of my own "near miss", I cringed a little when reading your post.

[Guest Drew]

that's unlucky. awkward coming outs are pretty common though. a friend of mine made an alternate facebook account and his mom found it on the computer history...he stayed with me for a few weeks......what was my point?...oh yeah, that really sucks but atleast it opens a door for you to come out....if you really want to see the bright side...

[Guest JayJaye]

Actually nobody said anything except my friend at college, so after I explained myself (to which he was nothing but supportive and compassionate! and I was overwhelmed) he said he just thought the name was my son's... oops, came out for nothing but at least I know he's on my side.

Nobody else said anything. So I won't explain until I have to.

Jay

[Guest Drew]

congrats on having a supportive friend

[Guest Kelly]

i outed myslef then created a new email and have been outing my self by giving them one email with my male name and replying with me female when the time is right its the same email inbox too so it works out well

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

OMG, Jay. I am so going to out myself with either email or LiveJournal. Right now I have separate accounts for "the me that my family and friends know" and "the real FTM me". It's appropriate because I really feel like I am two people right now. Still, I almost posted on my friend's LiveJournal from my "other" account. This particular friend would probably be totally cool with it. Still, it's a scary thought...

[Guest JayJaye]

I totally want to come out, but do feel it's best to wait until I'm on T and I have my legal name change. Then I'm legally Jay, period. It's weird, because for the last nearly 2 months I've been presenting totally male, clothing, hair, binding, packing, stp, etc, and NOBODY has said a word, other than a comment about my haircut (it had been long for decades), but that was it. No other comments.

In real life I'm out to my daughter, my college buddy, my best friend, and my therapists, and another transguy and his wife. That's it. Rest of family, friends, and coworkers are clueless despite my obviously more masculine appearance. But I guess reality is that I was never an ultra girly girl or very feminine anyway, so this is relatively normal I suppose, to them.

Jay

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I totally want to come out, but do feel it's best to wait until I'm on T and I have my legal name change. Then I'm legally Jay, period. It's weird, because for the last nearly 2 months I've been presenting totally male, clothing, hair, binding, packing, stp, etc, and NOBODY has said a word, other than a comment about my haircut (it had been long for decades), but that was it. No other comments.

In real life I'm out to my daughter, my college buddy, my best friend, and my therapists, and another transguy and his wife. That's it. Rest of family, friends, and coworkers are clueless despite my obviously more masculine appearance. But I guess reality is that I was never an ultra girly girl or very feminine anyway, so this is relatively normal I suppose, to them.

Jay

Yeah, I think that's mostly how it would be for me too. I've never been girly. I wear guy's clothes already and have been since college...so like 8 years. The only thing I don't do is just say that I'm male.

Lately I've been wanting to come out to people more and more. Still, I'm going to work through things with my therapist for a bit longer. On some days, I'm pumped and full of defiant energy. On others I feel like this is a really tough road to go down and maybe I don't have what it takes. Today is a "I don't have what it takes" day.

[Guest JayJaye]

Yeah, today is one of those 'I don't have it' days. I was all happy about looking very male today when a store worker referred to me as she...

Sigh...

Jay

[Guest raydub]

Dudes...its hard, i know. And confidence gets down, but keep your head up and remember that you are who you are inside. Just BE that person! No matter what someone else sees.. we'll get around to fixing that.

Just BE the men that you are!!!

(that was the great advice Id gotten)

Ray

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Dudes...its hard, i know. And confidence gets down, but keep your head up and remember that you are who you are inside. Just BE that person! No matter what someone else sees.. we'll get around to fixing that.

Just BE the men that you are!!!

(that was the great advice Id gotten)

Ray

I'm working on it!

Also, Jay, I like the new pic!

[Guest JayJaye]

Thanks (about the pic). I'm really going to get some more masculine glasses (both pairs are unisex frames) but I've just spent a ton on a new wardrobe and prosthetics and binders etc that I'm kind of broke at the moment. But I think those will help me pass.

Jay

[Guest raydub]

Thanks (about the pic). I'm really going to get some more masculine glasses (both pairs are unisex frames) but I've just spent a ton on a new wardrobe and prosthetics and binders etc that I'm kind of broke at the moment. But I think those will help me pass.

Jay

Jay! Did you get the tyron2? didya didya didya?!

im like six years old sometimes...i know.

Ray

[Guest JayJaye]

No, I couldn't afford the Tyrone or the FTM australia products. Since I'm currently single I went with a Lola Jake pack and play that is stp modified. If and when I ever get into a serious relationship then one of the other prosthetics will be a must. This one is more for my own mental health. Packys are great, but my mind wants realism and no straps or loose thingies in my shorts.

Jay

[Guest raydub]

i cant seem to navigate around that site. i actually remember now trying to look over that stuff before and just getting ipssed off and saying fcuk it! enoy the gear.. i ordered stuff too. now? the waiting game. and i scuk at this game...

Ray

[Guest JayJaye]

Yeah, their site stinks, but once you find the info page you have regular links to each prosthetic, a price list, ordering info, etc. But the front page is nearly impossible to find what you need to know.

I went with them though because a) they're cheaper, they have an stp option, and c) it's a dual but isn't hard all the time (you insert a rod for play).

I currently pack a 5.5 mango, so this is about the same size. Psychologically i also need 3-D testicles. I'm very tactile and feeling flat-backed testicles totally kills the realism.

I also really REALLY like the FTM Australian products (www.ftmprosthetics.com) but their dual is hard all the time, you just bend it up or down, which might be really great if I were in a relationship where spontaneous sex is an option, and I LOVE how realistic they look (moreso than Tyrone or Lola-Jake) but at the moment I didn't want to have to switch between two separate prosthetics, either. But like Tyrone they don't have an stp option either.

Jay