Have You No Heart?

[Guest jett]

people in my school make harass me everyday. they call me freakshow transsie, he/she, hermephrodite, they say things like they're gunna rape me its scary. there was a threat agaisnt me, two guys were gunna jump me.things are getting worse and worse. everyday i live but it dosent feel like living, i feel cold and lifeless. i think about dying everyday. my mom ignores everything me being transgender and possibly bipolar, my stepdad he has no heart. he treats me like crap like an outsider, i feel like a lepar in my own home. i just wish i could have been born right, i wish my body was male like i am on the inside. please someone help..is there hope?

[Guest Lily B]

Self-defense classes.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Write a formal letter to the principal outlining the danger you feel - copy your parents and the school board. If you do get hurt - sue the peewaddly outta the school board and the principal.

If your parents give you grief, seek outside help. DO NOT GET HURT just because you are what you are. There is discrimination going on!

AND

DO NOT kill yourself - nobody is worth doing that for. And you have tremedous valuse - just wait and see.

Finally - stay here on Laura's and tell us how things are going...

Lizzy

[MaryEllen]

Doesn't your school have an anti-bullying policy? You should lodge a complaint with the school administrator. Taking a class in self defense is good also. Try to ignore their taunts. If they see that they are getting to you, they'll keep doing it. If they can't get a rise out of you, they'll move on to someone else. If you have friends, stay close to them. There is strength in numbers. If the bullying gets to be too intolerable, perhaps changing schools is the way to go.

MaryEllen

[Guest NatalieRene]

Hi Jett,

I just wanted to let you know that being trans doesn't make you a freak show and yes there is hope. If anyone is threatening to rape you go straight to the authorities and report the person. Report it to your teacher, professor, principe or other administrator. Don't be afraid to report it to the police if you have to.

I'm really sorry your parents treat you that way. Do you have a therapist that you can talk to?

[JJ]

Your school should have policies and programs in place to protect you! Especially now with so much awareness of the damage that this does. Beyond that making threats to do you physical harm is a crime in most places.

When is this happening? Why has the school not intervened? Have you told your mom about the bulling? Aside from any issue she has about you being trans, she should be wiling to see that you are safe.

Have you discussed seeing a gender therapist with her? Or talked to your school counselor? Even if your mom is unwilling to accept that you are trans she should be willing to have you see a gender therapist to help you with what she must see as a problem at least. The therapist can help you explain the truths and realities of being trans to her. Not all therapists are trained in gender issues or even understand them so a gender therapist is best if possible.

Sorry for all the questions but it's hard to make suggestions without knowing more about the circumstances.

One thing I can tell you is that it will get better. These years are most often the worst in your life. Once you are on your own or in college it will be very different. You can have a full and happy life as the person you really are. Just hang on.

You can come here and post or log in to chat when you need. There are always people willing to give advise and support. We aren't therapists but we have all had very similar experiences and we understand

Hugs

John

[Guest kelise]

Above all, remember this. Every minute of every day, repeat this to yourself, over and over.

Someday it will get better!

I promise you this. While you do need to follow the above adbice to keep yourself safe until that day comes, remember that the day WILL come, that you will get out of there. You WILL graduate, the bullying WILL stop. You WILL move out on your own, your family WILL either learn to accept you, or you WILL need their acceptance less and less. Suddenly, you WILL find yourself drawn away from all that and into the arms of people who WILL support you, who WILL care about you, and who WILL love you for who you are. I promise.

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

people in my school make harass me everyday. they call me freakshow transsie, he/she, hermephrodite, they say things like they're gunna rape me its scary. there was a threat agaisnt me, two guys were gunna jump me.things are getting worse and worse. everyday i live but it dosent feel like living, i feel cold and lifeless. i think about dying everyday. my mom ignores everything me being transgender and possibly bipolar, my stepdad he has no heart. he treats me like crap like an outsider, i feel like a lepar in my own home. i just wish i could have been born right, i wish my body was male like i am on the inside. please someone help..is there hope?

Your not bi polar, My brother is bipolar, I saw him on and off meds.

People with Bi Polar become very violent.

Thats what it is Bi Polar is when a person cant control their anger and just spontaniouslyy get angry for no reason.

1 you do have a normal root cause for anger,

2 by this above statement you dont show signs of viloence tendencies which you would definatly show if you had.

so no you dont have bi polar in my opinion.

best of wishes,

school is horrible, it provides nothing! because teachers and faculty in this country majority,

1dont do their job

2dont look out for their students

3protect their students from other students

4overall just care

5their are ones who just show up to collect paychecks

MIDDLE School for me

6are bullies themselves, the dean and a few teachers in my middle would bull kids them selves

like one teacher would just write up kids

few others would just instigate fights, they tried it with me but i wasnt stupid like the jocks

and the dean worst of all if you were a known bully who wouldnt do nothing no suspension not even a lunch detention, if it was your first time like running out to the bathroom cuz you had to pee real bad or you defended your self from one of the bullies, he would give you just as many days as the bully, like how dare you report him!

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

I forgot to say,

college is much much better!

like completely different!

like when i started college i was like holy c@#$5 it is so different!

No bullies,

Their are still bad professors, but hey you can drop, if you got your suspicons drop the class and get your money back,

but ya

It gets way better

http://www.itgetsbetterproject.com/

wierd thing im white i guess, but in school most of the kids i new aqauntinces/friends, were black, wierd, it was really just hte white kids who bothered me.

[Guest Melisiris]

Please take the advice mentioned above because it also can get worse if you do not.

Like my friend couldn't take it no more one day and attempted to off herself, after years of bullying in school and verbal and physical abuse at home, she now has to live with the consequences of her brain injury in a house where people hate her and she is stuck there because she dropped out(after revaldation for months she returned to school, not the same school but special education,and was tormented even worse, not only a crossdresser but also a "retard", which she still is not ofcourse) and has no chance of a job. She is now 20 and still not out of the danger-zone...

I would like you to have a much better future!

[Guest Sharah]

Jett,

The others have given you some vey good advice. Formally complain to the principal of your school and to the police if you need to. Making a threat of violence against a person is a crime.

I am very sorry that you don't have the support of your parents, it makes things a bit more difficult. It is very true that it does get better.

And please, above all else, never forget that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This problem of your harrassment at school will pass, you wil finsish school and move on to the rest of your life. However, if you off yourself there is no more "rest of your life".

We care about you and you are cherished here at Laura's. Please keep us up to date on how things progress for you.

[JJ]

Just a note on bi-polar disorder which runs in my family. It is a very complex disorder with a huge range of symptoms and intensity.

Only a very small percentage of bi-polar people are ever violent. While a small percentage are completely debilitated because of extreme mood swings, risky behavior in one phase or severe depression the majority lead normal lives.

Medication is effective but can take a while to adjust. Most of us know someone who is bi-polar and some of us are bi-polar so I wanted to correct the impression that it is characterized by violence. In fact the primary manifestation is depression for many people and even that can be misleading because most depression is not linked to bi-polar disorder.

Way too complex a situation to be stereotyped. But there is lots of mis-information out there. Like the mis-information and stereotypes about being trans.

John

.

[Guest stranger]

One of the problems you're going to face in actually pressing charges-which it may come to-is this: it's your word against theirs.

Until you have a $40 digital recorder. I just did a Google search, it appears to be legal to record a conversation in which you are one of the parties in your state-some states it is not...This suggests you may have to say something back to them, to make it an actual "conversation", but I'm not a lawyer.

I suggest talking to the school admins, but also get your hands on a digital pocket-sized recorder, see if you can get some clear audio of your bullies threatening you. If you can get the words "gonna rape you" on digital recording clearly, don't bother with the admins, go to the cops directly.

Now that I think about it, I want you to talk to the police now. I'd like you to file a report with the police immediately. Still your word against theirs, yes, but building a case is building documentation.

Meanwhile, I would also talk to the counseling office, talk to the fine arts, music and drama teachers, tell them also what's going on (why? some truth in stereotypes, I'm hoping?) Try to get individual teachers on your side as well as the admins-because every adult looking out for you is one that can watch your back and/or intervene in the case of threats reaching the point of violence.

Some of the teachers and administrators may not want to do it, but it is their responsibility to insure you a safe environment...so I would tell as many as possible what's happening, because at least some of them will actually do their job.

Also, don't go anywhere on campus by yourself, period.

[Guest NatalieRene]

Anything you record without consent is inadmissible in court no matter how damning it is. They would have to sign a document or in the video give full consent. However a minor in the eyes of the law is not old enough to understand consent (I know it's not always the case regarding the person we don't give children enough credit) so even if they do give consent if you don't get the consent of at least one of their legal guardians it won't hold up in court either.

I was where you where and considered that line of action when I was being bullied in school. One thing you could do with the recording is take it to the principle. They would at least listen to it and know you are not making it up and then they should do something about the situation.

[Guest therisa]

Jett, I was bullied to the point, which I had to hospitalized, once, because of bruised kidneys and blood in my urine. I understand the feeling that you are experiencing, and just want to let you know, you are a strong young man. Who, knows he needs help and isn't afraid to ask for it. Is there, in your community any programs, which specifically aimed at GLBT teens and young adults? They can provide you with support that many people outside of our community, don't realized, how powerful the stigma and fear, which exist. Secondly, if you do decide to transfer to another high school, does your board district have a specific high school set aside for the GLBT students and their supporters, like Toronto District Board of Education does. If so, you may want to look in it. Hoping you do find a solution, which takes you out of poisonous environment.

therisa

[Guest Melissa 67]

I know it seems like your there forever, but school dosn't last that long really. When it's over it will be totally different. People just act differently when they're school age kids, I know how incredibly mean they can be, but trust me that's not real life. Just get through this and you'll be fine.

Love

Melissa 67