Confused

[Guest Aiden125]

I have some body dysphoria, I don't really like female pronouns, I dont like people using my birthname and i wish to wear guys clothes and look masculine the majority of the time. I feel really uncomfortable in feminine clothes. I dont really identify as a guy, but sometimes in the back of my head i say things like well I am a guy anyway.

The weird thing is this goes on and off, sometimes I can have really bad dysphoria and sometimes I can be fine with my body.

So I think, what am i?

I have come to the conclusion that I might be genderqueer.. But if you guys think something else i am open to advice.

My problem is though that i like a guy, I guess you could say im bisexual but really i like females 90% of the time. I cant tell if its 90% because i just feel uncomfortable being in a heterosexual relationship being the obviously female one. So liking this guy, I feel pressured to continue to wear girls clothes because straight guys dont like girls that dress masculine.. at least he doesn't..

Does this undermine my feelings? my dysphoria? I mean im not wearing a dress or something but I feel does this make me any less genderqueer because i am doing this? Has anyone else felt conflicted like this? I honestly don't know if i could do it for that long of a time..

thanks for reading

[Guest Opal]

Hi,

Welcome to Laura's! Nice to have you join in. There is a lot of useful information on this site, plus many wonderful people one can have polite conversation with.

If you have not already done so, please read the Terms and Conditions page found near the upper right of most any Forum page.

Hopefully, you will be able to find the answers here that you seek!

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest JaniceW]

Aiden,

The clothes you wear are not what makes you who you are. Your identity comes from your heart and it is not affected by what you wear. For many of us what we wear is important because it helps us to be in touch with who we are inside, but it does not make us who we are.

If you choose to wear feminine clothes to please the person you are with, that is your choice and it has no impact on who you are.

[Guest Aiden125]

woah that scared me, had a picture of me on there.. I am totally not out to anyone..

Im wondering if being genderqueer is just a a transition to being fully transgender and if anyone felt this way and then later started to transition?

[Guest kelise]

I remember there being a time where the feelings oof dysphoria came in waves. There would be days I didn't even want to get out of bed if I had to be a guy, other days I felt almost like I could live with it. It was very Jekyll and Hyde, between my fem side and that other guy. Fortunately, the girl in me won and gave the guy the boot(Girl Power!) I haven't seen or heard from him in over 5 years.

Thaat sucks about having to dress uncomfortably to please your guy. I unfortunatly can't help you there as I am dating a lesbian, but I know there are many on here who can relate. They will be along shortly.

In the meantime, welcome to Laura's! You'll have a blast here, I'm sure. We're all a lot of fun!

[Guest Orva26]

Hello Aiden, welcome to Laura's!

I'm in a bit of a similar situation but reversed, I'm just beginning to really think of and explore my feminine side and try to assign meaning to my thoughts. I have a longing to be a girl but no real problem being a guy, just not super exited about it. Anyway about dressing in female clothing for your boy, I've also got a similar thing going. I'm growing out body hair as to not freak out my ex when she visits despite wanting to keep myself smooth. I'll have to wait until after I see her to know but I think I'm probably just going to have a shaving party after she leaves to be nice and smooth again. I've also got the same conflicted feelings you have mentioned. And quickly had my eyes opened to the fact that most of my discomfort stemmed from trying to classify myself. The goal is really to find yourself, not find the term other people will call you afterwords.