Parental Problems...sort Of

[Guest Lily B]

So basically I haven't told my parents about trans stuff yet, and I want to move forward with seeing a gender therapist and what not.

The problem is that I don't have sufficient income on my own, mainly because I cant work in this country because I only have a student visa.

I have insurance but they would know about it.

The problem is that I'm not sure they would be so happy with this. My mom thinks I cross-dress on occasion because she's seen clothes I have and I kinda just didn't explain the situation. I don't think think my dad has that information (although he might),but he always seems uncomfortable if I do something liek play a fmelae character in a video game or something like that. Which isn;t great evidence either way.

I would just bring it up, but I don't want to risk them paying for my college.

Is there a way I can find out how they would feel without them knowing why I'm asking or even that I'm collecting this information?

I know that sounds sneaky, but there's too much at risk to not be.

[JJ]

Well you can rent a movie like Transamerica and watch it with them if you ever watch things together. And discuss it afterwords

Or find an article somewhere and bring it up as if you were just discussing something you found interesting. .

BUT that is not a guarantee of their reaction to you. Some parents are all trans friendly until it comes to their own child and then go into absolute denial. Others are phobic till it comes to their own child and do a complete turn around. While others just take it as expected..

There really isn't ant way to predict their reaction. Or that their initial reaction-good or bad -won't completely change.

I wish I could be more help. If you do express your gender discomfort to them perhaps they would be willing to have you see a GT to resolve it. And the GT can help you with strategies for working with your parents AND give you credibility about being trans.

Hugs

John

[Carolyn Marie]

Lily, I think John said about everything I would have. You are in a tight spot if you want to move forward with transition.

The only thing I can think of besides telling them is find out what resources your school has. Some have a school clinic where LGBT

services are offered at no charge or low cost. Most have an LGBT student organization that either has, or knows of places that

offer counseling services.

Sometimes its better just to bite the bullet though. But only you know your parents, and know best how they might react.

Good luck.

Carolyn Marie

[Drea]

One can alwyas see a therapist under the guise of depression. If insurance is going to cover it anyways, it probably can't be coded as gender identiy disorer or whatever the trans nomenclature is these days anways.

This may not mean a gender therapist, but any therapist can be very helpful and a gateway to getting with a gender therapist.

[Guest Soran Vs]

In addition to what Drea has said, I'm pretty sure all schools (or colleges, I assume) have a counselor somewhere on campus. Maybe see the campus counselor and if you find that helpful, I'm sure he or she will be willing to give you a referral to an outside therapist.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

Tuff spot, Lily......

But, I think that foremost is keeping your position in school....Being a Trans person means that you'll need every resource at your disposal in the future and a good paying job is needed...

I didn't catch what year you're in...

You received some wonderful advice above....

Do your best to be able to finish school....ok?

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest Leigh]

i agree with Drea and Soran.. you could just tell your parents its for some other reason that you need to see someone.

and, once you're in therapy it might be easier to tell your parents, though if you're really concerned, i would wait until after you graduate.

also, from personal experience, don't let the fact that you're in college right now slow your transition, or you may find yourself too depressed to focus on school.. that's what happened with me, and i had to drop out.

even if you don't start to transition right away, getting a therapist is a good start.

best of luck.

peace&love

[Guest Lily B]

Ok, I guess I'll just tell them it's for something else then, I think that'll work.

Thanks girls =]