Need Advice: What Do I Need To Do To Pass?

[Guest Alice4016]

Well, I've been "dressing the part" since I came out to my family and friends...but they are starting to tell me I should try my hand at going out (been working on my voice for a year or two prior so it's OK I guess). I really want to go out, but I'm worried I won't be able to pass. My wife and I were messing around with my camera (plus I had to take some self shots for a photojournalism class (I'm open to my profs, etc. so that shouldn't be a problem)...these were taken in the messing around period when I would change sets, clothes, etc.)...so sorry they are not the best quality (I'll have the others developed when I get back from the dark room Friday if anyone is interested...ha or in the Athens area and needs a photographer ).

Anyway I'm post any surgury (the breasts are fake ones, as well as the wig, but the wig is pretty close to my goal and so is the bust size (with a little silicone help of course ) so this is mainly just make up and me...thats why I'm worried about going out. My nose also has be worried, I've boxed since I was 13 so it's been broken countless times (it's actually the reason I can't fight anymore...but I don't think I would either...it was sort of my forcing myself to "be a man" deal). So any ideas on how to take care of that eyesore? Also any advice is welcome...you won't hurt my feelings. Critique me like a piece of literature and tear me apart! Ha, seriously though please be honest. My friends and family say I pass but I kind of would like an unbiased opinion. Anyway sorry the ramble we've been celebrating the end of mid-terms (I know late right...and only two more weeks till finals...ugh I hate being an English major soo much writing haha).

So anyway here they are... (two more on the next message)

[Guest Draik]

I think you pass really Well. And don't worry about your nose it isn't that big of a deal.

[Guest raydub]

you DO pass well. i think going out will be fine Alice.

just make sure youre comfortable and itll be cool.

HAVE FUN!!!

Ray

[Guest Drew]

i think you look really good, passing very well. don't worry about the nose, it's not that noticable.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Yeah, you look good. I didn't even notice the nose at all. When I read Drew's post, I had to go back to the original post to see what he was talking about. Sorry I can't be more critical. I think girls pick up detail stuff better. To my eye, you are doing a good job passing.

[Guest Sheila]

if i may make a suggestion alice. i would thin and shape your eyebrows. that did wonder's for me. changed my whole look, making me look more feminine. but otherwise you look fine. you go girl.

sheila

[Guest Mr. Fox]

You could perhaps shape your eyebrows, but even without doing that you pass. Do not worry about the nose, one of my friends has a nose like that (well, actually two of them do, but they are identical twins, and thus have the same nose).

Adrian

[Guest Alice4016]

Thanks for the advice, and the compliments (made me feel a little more confident about going out). I will work on the eyebrows, I think we totally forgot those actually haha. Thanks again. Oh, and I guess we only had these two on the digital the rest are 35mm...oh well.

Alice

[Guest JayJaye]

Ditto the eyebrow comments. But then, a lot of bio-females don't shape them either and have nice brows like yours (my daughter included).

Jay

[Guest Sandra]

Alice, I believe the hormones will probably do most of the work to make you like female but I'd suggest keeping the option open to resculpt your nose so its more feminine. I definitely plan to do that since my nose is very masculine. If the point is to look completely passable why not take it as far as you can?

I think you eyebrows are fine but a little trimming might not hurt. Some plastic surgeons recommend eye-brow raising, it might be worth looking into also...mind you I'm a bit more gung-ho about a more radical transformation than the average transsexual might be.

From what I've read/seen, it takes a mtf transsexual at least 2-4 years to make a successful transition (sometimes longer), after which time she looks like a natural female...the stage all us tgirls hope to achieve.

[Guest dolly]

you look great! love the glasses, very lisa loeb.

[Guest Just_Call_Me_Nick]

Fantastic looking!!!!

Nick~

[Guest cecilia]

Alice, you look alright to me. I hope things would go well for you, that you can look the way that youve always wanted to.

You mentioned that you have a wife, I know this is not the topic but it seems I cannot send messages to other people, so if you do not mind, I would ask it here. Your wife, being a woman, accepts you as you are? And you two are still married and you have the intention of staying together? As lovers? If yes, is it working?

Also, your skin looks nice.

[Guest Alice4016]

Cecilla,

Yep she does accept me, which was a huge surprise to me (actually she encourages me to be more of myself, she's also helping me with my voice etc.) I couldn't go through this without her. Yes we do plan on staying together, she says it's the person she loves not the body. It's been working great also, actually our relationship has been soo much better, we both agreed the only reason I was born a male was so we would come together...there is reason to everything in life .

Peace, love, and health,

Alice

[Guest silverpetals]

we both agreed the only reason I was born a male was so we would come together...there is reason to everything in life .

aww, that's the best way to take life, i think. it's so great that your wife supports you as well ^.^

alice, i think you look pretty actually ^.^ i think you'll be okay.

i know it's been said before, but shaping your eyebrows can make a bizarre amount of difference. i think bangs would suit you as well.

your nose isn't a boxer's nose or anything, from the pictures it looks fine. i think we both have the same nose :S i'm always thinking mine is too big and the wrong shape, blah blah blah, but i think almost everybody obsesses over their nose. anyway, i'm sure in time your face will change enough that you don't have to worry about your it any more. plenty of women have noses like that anyway, and you wear it well i think, you pass fine.

[Guest citymermaid]

I know this post is a bit late, as there are thankfully many more telling you that you look fine. Let me tell you hun, if the musical "Hairspray" taught me anything it is that we need to love ourselves for exactly who we are and how we look. I think you look beautiful as you are, and you should embrace your nose for making you distinct.

- Melanie

[Guest Bemused]

I think you pass well but we need to see a smile next time ^^ I mean isn't this something you have wanted your entire life just about

smile about it =D I hope you enjoy your night/days out

[Guest Alice4016]

Hey thought I'd update a new picture with the eyebrows worked on, and in something that represents how I dress most every day (these other pictures were special circumstances ). Here's the link to the picture, and advice would be greatly welcomed. Thanks for all the kind comments so far, maybe with this picture I can get ya'll to see the actually me, the ugly me.

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/picture...;pictureid=2443

Oh and what do ya'll think about getting the peace sign removed? Not that I have anything against peace, I think it's exactly what we should all be working for, but I'm thinking the tattoo hurts my ability to pass well...I'm thinking I'll get it somewhere else maybe?

Anyway hope I don't break any monitors...I'm pretty hideous.

-Alice

[Guest Drew]

Alice, you are not hideous! i think you look pretty even dressed casual.

[Guest Link48010]

Well, I think I'm a little late, but either way. Your nose looks fine if you ask me (money permiting, some reshaping on it wouldn't be *totally* wasted, but I don't see much of a rush). You look very feminine. One suggestion is the hair/wig. It's a little flat if you ask me, but that's an opinion, what you have now looks fine. Shortening it up some will let it puff up some and will typically make your face look rounder (more feminine). Your eyebrows are a little to thick but not to bad, you could lighten them just a *little* bit and then thin them down some, then *poof* you'd look perfect.

Oi, and one last thing, Good job

[Guest Alice4016]

Thanks again to everyone, sorry to keep posting these ect. it helps with confidence though and it's great to get advice. I think giving the wig a trimming would actually be a good idea, thanks.

[Guest Alice4016]

Thanks again to everyone, sorry to keep posting these ect. it helps with confidence though and it's great to get advice. I think giving the wig a trimming would actually be a good idea, thanks.

[Guest JoAnnDallas]

I have found that if you do these things, you pass

1. Do not act nervious.

2. Act like you belong where your are

3. Act like you have done this all your life.

4. Smile at anyone that looks at you.

5. Dress to blend in, don't over dress.

95% of the time this will allow you to pass.

3% of the time you will be read, but the person reading you will not care and leave you alone.

1% of the time you will be read, they may wink or smile at you to let you know they know, but otherwize they will leave you alone.

1% of the time you will be read and something is said. Usually teenage girls or a relegious zelot.

IMHO - If you try to blend in, 99% of the time you will pass. Most people don't look at others closely unless something is different. Then they look real close.

[Guest Jennifer1]

Passing is not just about looks. It has been said that many of us look like goddesses until we talk. Even the voice isnt what makes us pass. There are three things i believe you need to pass.

1. The look, You have it hun you look wonderful

2. The voice, You said your working on it so i think you have it.

3. The confidence/attidtude, This i think is the most important of the three. If you carry yourself like theres something wrong or your hiding something people will look for that hidden thing. But if you act confident, and sure of yourself you can get away with alot more. My voice, depending on how long ive been awake, Can seem like a little boy. I often have a 5 o'clock shadow. And i thin kmy nose is to big. But i dont show any of that when im out and about.

I think the biggest thing to remember is. While we may see or notice our imperfections, its because we know their there. Most people are not observent enough to notice them.

I think buffy said it best (though she was talking about suicide in highschool it really can be used for this case)

"Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening... You know, I could've taken that by now. " Buffy season three earshot

I know it can be a harsh quote and it really is. Not one i would use in a suicide situation for sure but its true.

The point being that every one is caught up in there own lives to pay attention to other peoples lives =P

[Guest Alice4016]

Passing is not just about looks. It has been said that many of us look like goddesses until we talk. Even the voice isnt what makes us pass. There are three things i believe you need to pass.

1. The look, You have it hun you look wonderful

2. The voice, You said your working on it so i think you have it.

3. The confidence/attidtude, This i think is the most important of the three. If you carry yourself like theres something wrong or your hiding something people will look for that hidden thing. But if you act confident, and sure of yourself you can get away with alot more. My voice, depending on how long ive been awake, Can seem like a little boy. I often have a 5 o'clock shadow. And i thin kmy nose is to big. But i dont show any of that when im out and about.

I think the biggest thing to remember is. While we may see or notice our imperfections, its because we know their there. Most people are not observent enough to notice them.

I think buffy said it best (though she was talking about suicide in highschool it really can be used for this case)

"Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening... You know, I could've taken that by now. " Buffy season three earshot

I know it can be a harsh quote and it really is. Not one i would use in a suicide situation for sure but its true.

The point being that every one is caught up in there own lives to pay attention to other peoples lives =P

Seems to me that confidence is more important than anything else, so I will try and keep that up there! Thanks for all the advice...lately I haven't had too many problems passing except for like you said voice (I had two shows the day before so I was horse and I just kinda dropped way down the following day lol).