Inbetween

[Guest therisa]

Darn it

How much more

Do I have to do

Before I can

Fully accept myself

As a woman

And not some hybrid creation

Whom has escaped

From a mad scientist’s lab?

I can see

The slightest bit

Of hesitation

Upon their face

As they try to figure out

Whether I am

A man or a woman.

Yet

Every time I heard

The title of “Sir”

When addressing me.

Is like a knife

Being twisted slowly

Side to side

In my exposed back

With no mercy.

Want to yell out loud

“I’m a woman”

But know

They’ll only humour me

Until they think

I am safely

Out of their sight.

As if

I don’t have

All of my mental faculties

Like some half-witted person.

Forced to grin and bear it

Not wanting to

Draw anymore attention

To my already conscious self

When facing

The check out cashier.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

No - look at it like this - you were born female, are female now, and will always be female. It' the body that needs some work.

Sooooo

Get youself straight, get everyone on your side you can. Remodel.

Then there are no questions.

Lizzy

I like your writing by the way - I see it in my mind as you describe it... you are good at making me do that

[JJ]

Therisa

In my experience what you are seeing on those faces is the doubt they see in you. I always thougt I made people uneasy and they would not accept me because I was different. Now I have seen that I was uneasy and could not accept myself trying to be a woman. The difference has been amazing-and I still present as female. But I know I am male and I am happy with it -that has made all the difference.

You do not have to change anything to be a woman-you were born a woman.

Hugs

John

[Guest Opal]

Hi Therisa,

Sorry Dear, wish I had an answer for you, but all I can say is we love and accept you here for who you are.

Hope you can find self acceptance, and find those who attempt to lay guilt and shame upon us mere noise in the wind.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest therisa]

Sigh, got some many ghosts, which need to excised, before I reach that point.

therisa

[Guest Chrysee]

Darn it

How much more

Do I have to do

Before I can

Fully accept myself

As a woman

And not some hybrid creation

Whom has escaped

From a mad scientist’s lab?

I can see

The slightest bit

Of hesitation

Upon their face

As they try to figure out

Whether I am

A man or a woman.

Yet

Every time I heard

The title of “Sir”

When addressing me.

Is like a knife

Being twisted slowly

Side to side

In my exposed back

With no mercy.

Want to yell out loud

“I’m a woman”

But know

They’ll only humour me

Until they think

I am safely

Out of their sight.

As if

I don’t have

All of my mental faculties

Like some half-witted person.

Forced to grin and bear it

Not wanting to

Draw anymore attention

To my already conscious self

When facing

The check out cashier.

I'd love to have a dollar for everything that I've read on Laura's that's made me cry.

And corny though it sounds, I so very, very much know what you mean. Would you mind terribly if i kept your poem in my harddrive? I'd like to read it once in a while.

Thanks,

Chrysalis

[Guest therisa]

Think everyone would be rich, if we got a dollar for everytme, we cried over a posting here, Chyrsalis.

therisa

[Guest Donna Jean]

Think everyone would be rich, if we got a dollar for everytme, we cried over a posting here, Chyrsalis.

therisa

Yes....move over Bill Gates......]

Donna Jean

[Guest therisa]

How about Warren Buffet, first than Bill Gates....Donna Jean.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Dear therisa,

I think it is kind of a catch 22 situation.

if you haven't truly accepted yourself as a woman, how can you expect others to

Believe and you shall be

<<< hug >>>

vanna

[Guest therisa]

I know Vanna, but I can still heard those voices from my past talking to me, degrading everything I do. These are the ghosts which I need to remove.

therisa

[Guest miss kindheart]

I know what you mean

One thing we have to learn to accept is our past

We cannot change it

It is part of who and what we are

However, it doesn't mean that we cannot be a woman now and forever more

Accept

<<<< hug >>>

vanna

[Guest Chrysee]

I know what you mean

One thing we have to learn to accept is our past

We cannot change it

It is part of who and what we are

However, it doesn't mean that we cannot be a woman now and forever more

Accept

<<<< hug >>>

vanna

That was one of the first things that clobbered me when I first came out to myself: the fact that I had been this my entire life, had been pretty aware of it since my early twenties, and had just sat back and let in go to waste. I cried a lot over that, imagining the life I might have led. Fortunately, here at Laura's I immediately found MTFs in my age group and never, ever heard a single one of them lament the things that might have been. I drew true strength from that.

Chrysalis