Treated Different?

[Guest JustShelly]

Hi,

Even though I am not full time and I don't present all that often, I still thought I would post this here.

This past weekend I have had a couple of mistakes (ma'am's). That's not exactly what this post is about but it pertains to that.

The first different thing??? (I'm not sure how to put it) was Thanksgiving day. I thought I had a bag for cooking a turkey in but I didn't. I headed to the closest store open, that was a Dollar Store. When I first walked in I noticed a bunch of turkey supplies right up front and there was also another shopper (female). I joked with her and said "well I guess I'm not the only one without their turkey in yet!. She said she had it in, just needed a baster.

I was mentioning that I couldn't seemed to find the cooking bags, she looked like she was helping me look, I wasn't sure. I then walked back to the cooking isle and asked a clerk, at the same time I asked the clerk, the lady I was talking with came to me and handed me some she found. I said "well, Thank you very much". I'm not sure if she thought I was another Gal or not.

Then at Target yesterday hmmm...I only went there to purchase a gift for a BDay party my child was going to. I don't do the black Friday thing but had to buy that gift. While I was there I ended up finding some good deals (duh) I asked my child to go get a cart. This man near us said "oh take mine I don't need it" again I said"thank yo........and not sure if he thought .....

Then we go to check out, I have a rain check, so the clerk calls the manager, the manager shows the clerk what to do and then says "sorry ma'am". I was just about to say something when she said "oh I'm sorry, how have you been" I said "thats ok". She then said "you just don't see many men out on this day" (there was a man waiting behind me LOL) and mumbled something else nervously. I knew this lady fairly well from going in there alot (Target is very close) she knows me only as male. After I said it was ok (to misgender me ) I did notice the clerk looking at me strange, kind of a look of what is happening here? I was somewhat embarrassed for my son, but he's getting use to this!

I was not presenting female, but I was also not presenting 100% male (I never am) I just have never been treated so nicely or helped so easily by females and males alike in the past when I was 100% male. I know it all could be in my head, but it seems to happen every time I am out and I get mammed.

To any girls out there wondering how best to pass. I get misgendered quite often (male mode) if my hair is looking good, it may not look totally feminine but its clean, somewhat styled and flows better then a males the same length. I think besides voice, hair is such an important gender marker. Maybe even more then voice,if talking is not needed. You could have the best female voice ever, but if you have a Salvation Army wig half on, you'll get pegged before you even open your mouth.

Sorry about the long post. Its hard to communicate reactions and feelings I've had, in just a paragraph.

Shelly

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Ain't it grand? Shows you are becomeing yourself and people notice it... nice day...

Lizzy

[Carolyn Marie]

Shelley, as I was reading your post, I kept wondering to myself, "how was she presenting?" You didn't give any clues (on purpose? Sneaky!) until the end.

You might as well get used to it, hon. You can't hide Shelley very well any more, and that's a fact. But on a scale of 1 to 10,

as a nice thing to have happen, I'd give it a 9.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Jean Davis]

Wonderful honey

Just go slow, this allows your kids, yourself and the people around you to adjust. You're going to be fine.

LUV

Jean