Not Wanting The Whole Package

[Guest Mori]

So I went to speak with my therapist the other day... and I told him I've been starting to think I'm FTM. when he asked me why and I said because I hate looking and being percived as a female he seemed to understand. Then I told him about the nagging doubts I have (what if this is just a phase like everyone says and ecetera) He then got less understanding. then when I mentioned that that i only have problems with my chest...all understanding seemed to go. He told me that because I dont want the male sexual organs that I dont really want to be man... that I can't be trans. It left me feeling really depressed and unsure of myself. I just can't figure out who I am or what I am. And I'm not sure this therapist can help me... or mabye i am just being really emotional. Any help on how to deal with this issue

and what would one call a person who doesn't want a womans chest, but wants to be seen as a effeminate man without the male parts and likes girls

[Guest Opal]

Hi Mori,

Welcome to Laura's! Nice to have you join in here. There is a lot of useful information on site, plus many wonderful people here one can get to know through polite conversation.

If you have not already done so, please read over the 'Terms and Conditions' page, the link to can be found near the top right of most any Forum page. We are a PG-13 site, and the rules reflect that, plus they are in place to keep everyone safe and to allow our younger members to participate.

Hope you will consider posting some more about yourself in the Introductions Forum. With five posts you will be eligible to make use of the Personal Messenger (PM) feature.

One question, is your therapist a Gender Therapist ? That can really make a difference as far as if they can really help you or not.

Welcome aboard!

Hugs,

Opal

[Guest Mori]

Hi Mori,

Welcome to Laura's! Nice to have you join in here. There is a lot of useful information on site, plus many wonderful people here one can get to know through polite conversation.

If you have not already done so, please read over the 'Terms and Conditions' page, the link to can be found near the top right of most any Forum page. We are a PG-13 site, and the rules reflect that, plus they are in place to keep everyone safe and to allow our younger members to participate.

Hope you will consider posting some more about yourself in the Introductions Forum. With five posts you will be eligible to make use of the Personal Messenger (PM) feature.

One question, is your therapist a Gender Therapist ? That can really make a difference as far as if they can really help you or not.

Welcome aboard!

Hugs,

Opal

No he is not a gender therapist...I'm sort of tight for cash and can't afford to see a gender therapist (tight as in no cash)

[Guest Elizabeth K]

and what would one call a person who doesn't want a womans chest, but wants to be seen as a effeminate man without the male parts and likes girls

You call that person a member here at Laura's Playground - gender dysphoric, as we all are...

You are what you are - and what you are is just fine. WELCOME

........................

No he is not a gender therapist...I'm sort of tight for cash and can't afford to see a gender therapist (tight as in no cash)

Are you sure a gender therapist would be more expensive? That seems unusual. You may want to check that out.

Lizzy

[Guest sarah f]

I agree with Lizzy in that you might be able to find a GT for the same price you are paying for a regular therapist. Some even work on a sliding scale which helps those of us that can't afford their prices.

If you are already having doubts about the one you have then start looking for another. It will not help going if you don't think they can help you.

[Guest Mori]

The reason I know I wont be able to find one cheaper is that I am seeing the current therapist for free. I go to a volenter clinic in my area.

My options are just so limited right now that i feel like I'm stuck with what I've got...But I can always try a different therapist and the clinic.

[JJ]

It's hard to beat free but still not worth it if it makes you doubt yourself or creates more confusion. Hopefully another therapist will be more informed. If not online therapists can be a less expensive option.

John

[Guest Annaemo]

I don't think he is specialist enough to help you really. At one time when I was really young I thought the only way was to go and have SRS right away, without the HRT or dressing. Thats what the general public who have never met a trans person before be leave too imo. There are lots more levels than that some people who want to be seen as male or female and keep there bodies the same as before, people who wish to alter there bodies to be more feminine but there sex organs.

[Guest SidESlicker]

Your therapist makes the queer activist in me angry.

Okay hon, first off he's wrong. Your gender identity has nothing to do with what's between your legs or what's not. Being dysphoric and wanting a different body doesn't make you more or less trans than the transguy who got the whole package done.

Penis does not equal man. Vagina does not equal woman. We enter this community knowing this, but it seems the power that be keep trying to put us all into neatly labeled boxes.

Having a vagina and not wanting to lose that in favor for a penis does not make you any less trans, or any less of a man that you know you are. Your doctor is an idiot.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. You aren't broken. You also aren't in the wrong for being emotional, you have all the right to feel lost by this.

How to deal with this? Go to your freezer, grab some ice cream, call up some friends and watch your favorite movie surrounded by people who support you and your gender identity, no matter what or what isn't between your legs. Because in the end, that's not what's important.

An effeminate man who likes girls? We call em Metro sexuals.

[Guest Evekin]

One way of labeling an identity that falls short of one, in between/mixed, or out of the spectrum altogether is this interesting term called "genderqueer", also known as "genderfluid". Androgyne can technically fit under this term but most people who identify as genderqueer lean more towards one gender than the other, but not completely. I've found it useful as a sort of placeholder, I used it before I was completely sure of my identity. Sometimes there isn't a specific enough term for how we feel and so a broader one ends up being the only option, and it's just a tiny bit more specific than just saying "transgender" which is the bigger umbrella term.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

The reason I know I wont be able to find one cheaper is that I am seeing the current therapist for free. I go to a volenter clinic in my area.

My options are just so limited right now that i feel like I'm stuck with what I've got...But I can always try a different therapist and the clinic.

Sally located a gender therapist in a free clinic. If you live in a big city, they may have one.

Lizzy

[Guest Sam_P]

However you feel about yourself and how you want to be is perfectly fine. Never let anybody make you believe that that's wrong and you should do alright. I'd say that if your therapist can't understand that then he probably won't be very useful. Are there no free access schemes around for people lacking funds to get the therapy they need?