Starting To Plan For Srs

[Guest NatashaJade]

(Sorry for this ramble...I'm just kind of thinking out loud here)

I've reached that stage in my transition where I am beginning to seriously look at the final phase of this level (because from what I have seen and read, surgery does not end transition...it is simply a gateway to the next level). If you told me two months ago that I would be doing this, I would have laughed at you a bit and then cried privately. But things are moving apace and to continue forward without a good plan of action is not in my nature. I have done everything else according to my plan for what I could do, so it is kind of fun to start doing some real thinking and research into this. I still have some time for a decision, but it is based on a number of factors.

So surgery! I have never had one before that was not in a doctor's office (ingrown toenails...vasectomy...simple outpatient stuff). I have no idea what it's like, but I have seen my wife go through a number of them (two from inside the OR - c-sections...I've seen inside my wife!) but I have never been on the slab, as it were. I am somewhat anxious about this, but I'll get over it. I plan of going full time in May of 2012. It will be my last year of teaching at my current job and I will leave on my terms, having seen certain students through their entire high school lives. This is important to me and to them, so I will not sacrifice that honor and duty for a quicker time line. Even if I won the Powerball on Wednesday, I would still do this. While money is important to me, it is only a part of why I do this job.

So May of 2012 for full time. I do plan on being full time aside from work by September or October of 2011, meaning I will hopefully fulfill the requirements of the SOC with my GT and other therapist in this regard. I have talked to her a little bit about it, but we will discuss it more in the new year (she's on vacation now). I know the SOC makes allowances for status difficulties, but I want to make sure I am doing things as "by the book" as possible.

I want to wait until after October of 2012 for the surgery. That will be my 10th anniversary and I want to at least give my wife that occasion to be with the man she married. The following year, we have planned to renew our vows as woman and woman (I get to wear a wedding dress!!!).

I want to make sure I have SRS before March of 2013, so I can be 42 when I have it. Douglas Adams fans will understand.

So now who and where. If I am still in AZ, I have two options as far as I see it. I can either go with Meltzer or Suporn. I've contacted Suporn and the costs are within reason and I could actually afford it today (I have the savings). However, I have to consider Meltzer given that I live less than a half an hour (traffic willing) from his office and would not have to worry about hotels or transportation costs or where my wife and friends will stay. It would be convenient with an excellent surgeon. My wife, as much as she wants to see Thailand, does not want me to have a surgery in SE Asia. But money is an issue and Meltzer costs a lot more (more than I have available). Given the current job situation, it is likely we'll still be here (sadly), so these are my main two options right now.

Should we move to either L.A. or Portland, things change a bit. I would still look at Suporn, but Bowers would become my first choice in the states. Again, it would be a money issue. Given that L.A. is a little more likely all things considered, I'd rather stay in state. My wife and friend and I can make the drive up to San Mateo in about 5-6 hours (although the drive home will be...uncomfortable. I prefer it to flying, though. I hate flying. But we have a minivan, so I can just take the back seat and moan from there.).

So the goal is to have SRS by March of 2013. I believe this is totally achievable and while things may come up, if I keep that goal, I will meet it.

Any thoughts?

xoxo

Natasha

[Guest sarah f]

Ok let me first start by saying how jealous I am that you are going to renew your vows with your wife and you get to wear a wedding dress. I am so happy for you in that you get to experience that.

Now for your timeline. I think that is a good plan you have. I think 2013 is doable for you to wait for SRS. I don't know if waiting to go fulltime by 2012 is because you will not be able to pass as him anymore.

I don't think you have much longer to pass as him and then you will be ma'amed everywhere you go even school.

I can only hope to have SRS by the time you do. My goal is around the same time because of saving money for it. I will probably go to Bowers though. She is the one I have always thought would do it for me.

Natasha I hope you meet all the goals set forth in this post in the timeframe you want.

[Guest NatashaJade]

Ok let me first start by saying how jealous I am that you are going to renew your vows with your wife and you get to wear a wedding dress. I am so happy for you in that you get to experience that.

I think in some ways I'm more excited about this than anything. I loved getting married the first time around and this will be so much fun for us and our friends without having to worry about the stress of our families. Plus, even though she won't let me wear white, I am thrilled to have the opportunity to be a bride.

Now for your timeline. I think that is a good plan you have. I think 2013 is doable for you to wait for SRS. I don't know if waiting to go fulltime by 2012 is because you will not be able to pass as him anymore.

I don't think you have much longer to pass as him and then you will be ma'amed everywhere you go even school.

This is something I think about a lot! Especially as I lose weight, my face shows the change and I don't want to have to wear a binder, but I'm a 42C right now and all I can see happening is that they become more prominent. Plus, I'm not very good at playing the man anymore and my day-to-day voice has become more...musical. But if I keep telling them I am a man, they will believe me, right? (Does that work for the FTMs?).

I can only hope to have SRS by the time you do. My goal is around the same time because of saving money for it. I will probably go to Bowers though. She is the one I have always thought would do it for me.

I would love to have our SRS with Bowers at the same time! That would be awesome!

Natasha I hope you meet all the goals set forth in this post in the timeframe you want.

Thanks, Sarah!!!

love

Natasha

[Carolyn Marie]

Sounds like a plan, Tasha. It all sounds very doable.

I think its wonderful that you and your wife will renew your vows as women together, and you get to wear a gown.

White or not, I can just picture you looking so beautiful and happy.

My own schedule is similar to yours, although I have not made a final decision about surgery. But I should be

full time by next spring, so by mid-2012 will be eligible for surgery. If I retire around then, I'll get a

large enough pay out to afford Bowers if I want to. We shall see. Wouldn't it be lovely for several of us to

get it done around the same time? My goodness, the Surgeries sub-forum will be chock full of juicy (and gory)

information. Ha!

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest NatashaJade]

Wouldn't it be lovely for several of us to

get it done around the same time? My goodness, the Surgeries sub-forum will be chock full of juicy (and gory)

information. Ha!

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Well, just so you know, Dr. Bowers has about a 15 month lead time right now, so it would require a great confluence of our schedules and time-lines for that to happen. But my life is all about coincidence, so I would be highly amused, if not surprised.

love

Tasha

[Guest sarah f]

I think that would be awesome to have ours done at the same time. I only wish it was that easy. Mine all depends on the wife right now. If we are still together it will be a process to get her to accept this. If not then I am open for anytime you want.

[Paula ult]

Natacha hon, it sounds like you have everything planned out pretty good, i would however make several alternate plans, the unexpected happens and you need to be prepared just in case, i know a post-op who had her surgery with Dr.Melzer, she was extremely pleased with the results, i know a few that had their surgery with Dr. Bowers and they too were pleased with the results, there are maybe 5 surgeons that i would trust with my surgery Melzer,Bowers, Brasard, Supporn and Mcginn, my choice mainly due to being within a 9 hour drive from where i live, her training under bowers, her stricter guidelines and the fact that she is a transwomen, i did lots of research, sounds like you are too.

Paula

[Drea]

No question, Meltzer is a superior surgeon. I personally wouldn't pick Marci over Meltzer given the option. If it weren't for her TV fame she wouldn't have developed the same kind of reuptation someone like Meltzer has.

I am not too keen on the "full time except at work" kind of thing. That's probably because it is so often its been used as a form of bragging with the achievement of "full time" stated with the small exception often not notice. I just wish there was some other way that was more descriptive that didn't sound so bragging like. I don't think that of you Natasha, just I seen that refrain so often I get that reaction. Given how much socialization and time one spends at work, it is a very different world than being truely full time in my opinon.

To the degree it works for your therapist and gets you through the requirement, who am I to say judge if its appropriate or not. On top of that, if you aren't planning till october after leaving the job, I am guessing you will have at least a few months truely full time and what diff does a few months verses a year full time mean anyways? Not much really in my opinion. And if you get to the later date, then its more like 9 months.

Good luck.

[Guest NatashaJade]

No question, Meltzer is a superior surgeon. I personally wouldn't pick Marci over Meltzer given the option. If it weren't for her TV fame she wouldn't have developed the same kind of reuptation someone like Meltzer has.

For me it's about proximity. If Bowers were still in Trinidad, I would probably still think Meltzer first. I just got a price from Meltzer and it's reasonable all things considered. The fact is, if I'm still living in the Phoenix area, it would be stupid of me to go anywhere else.

I am not too keen on the "full time except at work" kind of thing. That's probably because it is so often its been used as a form of bragging with the achievement of "full time" stated with the small exception often not notice. I just wish there was some other way that was more descriptive that didn't sound so bragging like. I don't think that of you Natasha, just I seen that refrain so often I get that reaction. Given how much socialization and time one spends at work, it is a very different world than being truely full time in my opinon.

I agree. I wish I could be full time in my current job. What I will actually be doing is teaching online part time, which will become my full time job once I leave this position. I'm not especially keen on it either as I just want to be done with the double life.

To the degree it works for your therapist and gets you through the requirement, who am I to say judge if its appropriate or not. On top of that, if you aren't planning till october after leaving the job, I am guessing you will have at least a few months truely full time and what diff does a few months verses a year full time mean anyways? Not much really in my opinion. And if you get to the later date, then its more like 9 months.

I'm hoping that will be our process of thought on the matter. I'll talk with my GT about it in January and get her opinion on the matter, but she knows my position and I think will remain open to my plans, even given what a stickler she is for the SOC.

Good luck.

Thanks!!!

xoxo

Tasha

[Guest NatashaJade]

Okay, so I heard from a new friend who recently had surgery with Brassard that I would really check him out, especially if I am thinking at all about Thailand, considering that the costs are fairly equal. Apparently, Brassard has the best recovery house in the business and my wife can stay with me throughout all phases (plus, she's never been to Canada and would love to go there). After contacting his office, he is now my front runner due to reputation and cost.

Of course, things can always change...I am enjoying this "window shopping" for surgeons.

xoxo

Natasha

[Drea]

Absolutely, I would have mentioned Montreal if Brassard has been one you touched on. Unquestioningly they have the best aftercare up there. Their cost, last I knew included nearly two weeks stay. From a couple days before surgery through about 9 days after. It also included transport to and from airport as I recall. Cost is far more affordable than in the US even with all that included. And yes your partner can stay there with you (slight extra cost perhaps). The only cost not covered is for some medications. About $70 or so.

I been up there, I know many others who have been there too.

[Guest NatashaJade]

Absolutely, I would have mentioned Montreal if Brassard has been one you touched on. Unquestioningly they have the best aftercare up there. Their cost, last I knew included nearly two weeks stay. From a couple days before surgery through about 9 days after. It also included transport to and from airport as I recall. Cost is far more affordable than in the US even with all that included. And yes your partner can stay there with you (slight extra cost perhaps). The only cost not covered is for some medications. About $70 or so.

I been up there, I know many others who have been there too.

Their costs do not include my wife, but it's $170 a day Canadian and that included three meals a day, so it's not too bad. When we factor everything together, it's cheaper than having it done here in town, if less convenient. The fact is, 4-5K can be spent elsewhere, especially if there is no sacrifice in quality. From what I gather, this is not an issue. Also, medication home is now included. Better still, Dr. Brassard does not recommend electrolysis or laser prior to surgery, which is also money better spent elsewhere and pain to be avoided. (Sounds like I've made up my mind...not quite, but almost).

xoxo

Tasha

[Drea]

Ah, you mentioned the genital electrolysis. Yes a big plus. Though some might choose to insist it's necessary.

When I went to Menard back in the late 1900s he personally told me he didn't require it. At the time their (Menard and Brassard since they were partners) literature still said it was required. If it is no longer listed it sounds like they finally changed it. As recent as a couple years ago I heard it was still in their info packet.

I didn't have that genital electro stuff. There ain't no hairs growing inside. What I heard is that they can scrape or burn off the folicles from under the skin.

Another big positive for Brassard is that his techniques are well refined, a long held and honestly earned reputation.

[Guest NatashaJade]

Here is what the current information pack has to say about it:

ELECTROLYSIS:

-4-

Hair removal on external genitals before male to female reassignment surgery is debatable.

Hair bearing skin on the penis shaft base with the one step technique stays outside on the neo vulva. The skin that will become the internal living of the new female genital is the rest of the penis skin, scrotal skin and a small « perineal flap » ( a one square inch of skin that is located one side above the anal margin on the midline ) If you want a perfect hair free vagina you need to be sure that no regrowth of hair has occurred on the area for at least one year after you have finished electrolysis on laser. Even then this does not garant that no hair will ever grow.

The hair roots are either killed or weakened by electrolysis or laser. Those only weakered regrow. During surgery hair roots are killed with the cauthery on the scrotal skin that is used as a graft ( not on the « perineal flap » ) During surgery the hair roots that were weakened are less visible because they are much smaller than those found untreated areas and could be missed by the surgeon and regrow later. For this reason, in our experience expeditive laser or electrolysis treatments are worse than not having hair removal at all. In fact, we can get most hair roots during surgery if they were not weakened. Regrowth after our surgery is possible but very sparse.

If you want no regrowth at all you will have to face hours of painstaking hair removal and a one year none growth period.

At this time we do not feel that hair removal is indicated.

xoxo

[Drea]

That seems pretty darn definitive to me. Do electro and wait a year after to make sure no regrowth is occuring. Or just let them do it.

That is consistant with what Menard explained to me. He said it was all there, easy to see and take care of during the surgery.

[Guest TracieV3]

Well, just so you know, Dr. Bowers has about a 15 month lead time right now, so it would require a great confluence of our schedules and time-lines for that to happen. But my life is all about coincidence, so I would be highly amused, if not surprised.

love

Tasha

Tasha, you have a good plan that is well thought out.

On a side note, it was reported less than a week ago that Dr. Bowers is moving her practice San Francisco.