Ftm's & Porn

[Flint]

Actually yes, to a degree. Most of the women I have observed have been pleased when someone flirted, gave them an admiring glance or smile. What were they being admired for except their sexual attractiveness? Their role as a sex object. That's just biology. Women feel it too. They have been socialized to behave differently, even to see it as shameful.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being a sex object unless, as has historically happened, that is the only role allowed. Women see men as sex objects too. They were just culturally prevented from expressing that aspect of their sexuality. While there are some differences in male and female sexual expression I don't believe they are nearly as great as the differences that have been enforced on "nice girls" by society.

There has also been a form of Demimonde in almost every society where women enjoyed a frank sexuality. It was a hidden world but a very real and flourishing one nevertheless.

Sexuality does not define a person, man or woman and when that is the only light in which someone is allowed to be seen it is wrong. But otherwise I think the objectification of both men and women for sex is a biological reality.Neither right nor wrong. Just reality.

It becomes problematic when that view is carried over into all relationships and prevents people from being seen and treated as complex human beings with roles far beyond sex

Yea I agree with everything you've said here.

[Guest ShortyT]

I was on the Venus Envy website, it's a Canadian sex education and toys store, and they have FTM on FTM/Cis-guy porn now from some indie company. I haven't seen or heard of this before but I'm curious as to... the approach I guess you could say.

Buck Angel by any chance?

[Flint]

Buck Angel by any chance?

Ah I better keep away from the topic of buck angel. I have some very strong opinions on the subject. lol

[Guest CalvinFTM]

Matthias, I'd be curious to hear your feelings about Buck Angel.

[Flint]

Matthias, I'd be curious to hear your feelings about Buck Angel.

Well...Hmm I fear it could start arguments. Many FTM's respect buck Angel, for whatever reason. Perhaps it's because he's an FTM in the 'spotlight' so to speak. But I hate to think other FTM's possibly see him as a role model. And it doesn't have that much to do with the fact he's in the porn business. I have my own personal opinions on his porn, but that is more due to my own issues and sexuality. And I only accidentally stumbled upon his porn when I was looking for advice regarding sexual issues and being FTM.

Lets just put it this way, if I was in school or university and I felt unsafe due to my gender identity and I had a choice of who to come and teach people about the issues, I would not ask for Buck Angel.

[Guest some ftm guy]

I've sorta thought about watching porn but it makes me uncomfortable, might be the stigma with watching or liking those, i don't look anything like the people in them, that might bother me if i did watch porn. chances are really low of me ever finding someone who looks like that and actually is attracted to me, it's known to not be realistic at all and having terrible writing and stories. it's not that i have a problem with people having sex period, i can handle nudity and i don't care what people like but what i already listed as negatives with porns on top of me being pretty dysphoric a lot of the time ex: "i don't even have the same parts as those guys let alone the clear skin, height and muscle!" would probably make watching porns pretty uncomfortable.

[Guest N.Chaos]

I watch gay porn a lot. It kills me inside, but I weirdly need it.

I'm the same way, honestly. Can't explain why, because I'm attracted to both males an females, but the only porn I'm ever really interested in is gay porn, or mtf porn oddly enough. Girl on girl does absolutely nothing for me, and most straight stuff doesn't either.

[Guest Jessy_James]

It wasn't Buck Angel. Something a little newer and probably a little lower budget. I'm not sure what it's like, like I said I just seen it on the website. Buck Angel's porn is just odd in my opinion.

[Guest Cowboy]

Porn.... hmm... has little effect on me. I really don't care for it to be honest. Yes, sometimes it's beneficial for that little "push" i need to have some sort of a sex drive. but that's all that's it good for really. Sometimes it makes me more dysphoric about the parts I lack, but then again, there is always going to be some type of dysphoria about that. Porn, depending on the mood I was already in, makes that dysphoria worse.

and no, I don't see it having any affect on me or uhh... (trying to keep it PG13) sexual performance. Porn is fantasy. A relationship is real. It's gonna take my girl to turn me on, not some type of porn.

Besides, call me old fashioned all you want, but I'm the kind of guy that is going to get to know the person I'm dating, before I do anything intimate with them. It's just how I am. I'm a strictly monogamous person. if i'm seeing 5 girls, but decide there is one I am really attracted to, then I'm going to go "exclusive" with that one girl. It's then that I'll decide if I want more out of the relationship (as in intimacy). Yeah so what... that may not be the "cool" thing to do these days, but it's just how I am. I'm not saying that I don't flirt, because fact is, I'm a pretty big flirt. But I'm gonna get to know a girl as a person, before she becomes any type of "sex object".

[Guest Carden]

I prefer select lesbian porn to straight/gay porn. So I wouldn't know, don't really compare myself to anyone in the video or put myself in there. xD Though, I always feel like I am watching a fantasy movie or something when I watch porn because it is so dressed up and acted out. Also, a little blurb, why do they have porn with plot? Pointless.

Buck Angel's porn doesn't get me off but I respect him for doing what he wants to and not letting anyone get him down. xD

[Flint]

Porn.... hmm... has little effect on me. I really don't care for it to be honest. Yes, sometimes it's beneficial for that little "push" i need to have some sort of a sex drive. but that's all that's it good for really. Sometimes it makes me more dysphoric about the parts I lack, but then again, there is always going to be some type of dysphoria about that. Porn, depending on the mood I was already in, makes that dysphoria worse.

and no, I don't see it having any affect on me or uhh... (trying to keep it PG13) sexual performance. Porn is fantasy. A relationship is real. It's gonna take my girl to turn me on, not some type of porn.

Besides, call me old fashioned all you want, but I'm the kind of guy that is going to get to know the person I'm dating, before I do anything intimate with them. It's just how I am. I'm a strictly monogamous person. if i'm seeing 5 girls, but decide there is one I am really attracted to, then I'm going to go "exclusive" with that one girl. It's then that I'll decide if I want more out of the relationship (as in intimacy). Yeah so what... that may not be the "cool" thing to do these days, but it's just how I am. I'm not saying that I don't flirt, because fact is, I'm a pretty big flirt. But I'm gonna get to know a girl as a person, before she becomes any type of "sex object".

I have similar views to you on relationships, believe it or not. Although I'd never see 5 girls at once In the UK seeing 5 girls at once, even if not intimate would not be seen as a practice of monogamy

I also don't really see what it has to do with ones values of relationships. It doesn't matter if you meet you a girl now and don't get intimate for a year, the question would still remain "has it effected you and your gender when you do get intimate"

Porn may be a fantasy, but that is what I'm getting at really. Transmen often hate the reality of their bodies, what I'm asking really is, is if it becomes a problem that we can only....perform when fantasy is involved. But then you could say with most intimate relationships, their is always some fantasy involved? Hmm actually that's an interesting question. Does everyone need fantasy involved trans or not?

*has started to get way too philosophical about this subject*

[Guest Cynthia Of Creation]

PORN IS YUCK

although reading the names is always funny

like that one porno IRON MAN, lol in all honesty even standard movies in movie theater now exhibit some lvl of pornographic material

[Guest My_Genesis]

I have similar views to you on relationships, believe it or not. Although I'd never see 5 girls at once In the UK seeing 5 girls at once, even if not intimate would not be seen as a practice of monogamy

I also don't really see what it has to do with ones values of relationships. It doesn't matter if you meet you a girl now and don't get intimate for a year, the question would still remain "has it effected you and your gender when you do get intimate"

Porn may be a fantasy, but that is what I'm getting at really. Transmen often hate the reality of their bodies, what I'm asking really is, is if it becomes a problem that we can only....perform when fantasy is involved. But then you could say with most intimate relationships, their is always some fantasy involved? Hmm actually that's an interesting question. Does everyone need fantasy involved trans or not?

*has started to get way too philosophical about this subject*

lol... I don't think it's a problem for me. Fantasy can be involved in my head just as well I mean yes as I said before, porn can make my dysphoria worse, but it does help with the fantasy and stuff in my head. So it's kinda a double-edged sword for me. haha.

[Guest thefireship]

Only on very rare occasions have I ever gone out of my way to view porn. (If its available, you bet, I'll watch it!) Most of my porn takes place in my brain and it really doesn't take much to have the effect. Porn is just a means to get there quicker. ;p But.. of the times I have watched things, it really hasn't exacerbated any weirdness with myself. I mean. I'm watching other people do it, I'm not watching myself. I guess I'm just not projecting me into it. I have noticed, however, certain, uh.. perspectives tend to make me go O_O more than others. Basically, if its from a guy's point of view (don't matter if its gay or straight) I'm all O_O and then I have to *cough* Aaaand so long as I'm about to *cough* I'm all smiles.

But.. when it comes to fun times with someone else.. Yeah, there's a history of issues there. At this point I just have a list of things I am up front about not liking and a handful of methods in which to get around it. As far as those methods actually working really depends on the other person involved and therein resides the difficulty and frustration. I'm just glad I'm dating my hand right now. It spares me a lot of this stuff. I figure, whenever I do end up getting serious with someone, before anything happens of this nature, I'll already know they know what the deal is and see me for ME first and foremost.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Porn can get boring lol. Or maybe I'm not watching the right stuff But oddly enough, when there is sexual stuff going on in say a TV-14 tv show or R-rated movie, I find that much more of a turn-on than porn. I think it's because in porn it seems like they're trying too hard. And there's not a lot of sensuality in porn like touching and stuff, it's just tab A in slot B type stuff... and I think touch is an important factor. haha. In tv shows and movies there seems to be a lot more sexual tension going on

[Guest N.Chaos]

I definitely agree that the sexual tension can be much, much hotter.

[Guest My_Genesis]

I definitely agree that the sexual tension can be much, much hotter.

it's not just that though. it's lots of things.

[Guest jumpzinc]

When I was a teen and heard about this thing called an orgasm, I wanted one but found that I just couldn't get it. I couldn't picture myself in a sexual way. Then I found my mom's written porn collection and bang. I've found that I use porn now, movies and written, to help put images in my head that I can use on my own or just to get off faster. I couldn't put myself in a sexual fantasy until recently. I have recently been able to do it but it takes a lot of concentration to fantasize about one body part while working with another. I don't find that porn affects my relationship. Sometimes we watch it together, although for the most part we have different tastes.

I appreciate Buck Angel because I was told by a mental health professional as a teen (in the '80s) that one of the reasons I couldn't be trans because I enjoyed sex, with and without a partner and he helped show me that's not necessarily the case.

A plug for Venus Envy: I got my first packers (a hard and a soft) at their store in Halifax just yesterday!!!