First Meeting With Gender Therapist

[Guest Samantha1]

I'm meeting with my Gender Therapist for the first time Tuesday.

A while ago I decided to "try and look good in drag", but I have

seriously repressed eveything for a very long time. As I

"unrepress" there are a lot of emotions coming out that I am

having a difficult time with, so I decided I really needed to see

some one about this process to try and get things more

under control. It's not that I was unaware of these things, I just

never thought they were real somehow - just part of some fantasy

element, which I'm starting to really question. I can't think

about transition in that way though without feeling a very strong

emotional/physical response - that's what I can say- it's a very

strong response, when I think about hormones and surgery

So yeh, I'm a little confused.

Any last words before I go do this in a couple days

[Guest KimberlyF]

Be 100% open and honest and follow the advice given to the best of your ability and you'll do fine. Love yourself whatever happens.

Kim

[Carolyn Marie]

a little anxiety is to be expected, Samantha. As you begin thinking about what transition really entails, you're going to wonder if what you're feeling is real or an illusion, or if you're off your nut, and many other conflicting emotions. Your G.T. will be familiar with

all of that and more, and will relax you, guide you, and help you find yourself.

You'll do fine, hon. take it one step at a time. Best of luck!

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest JaniceW]

Samantha,

Go there knowing that the best thing you can do for yourself is to be brutally honest. Remember that the therapist doesn't know the answers to your questions, you do and the therapist is going to help you to find those answers for yourself.

[Guest Samantha1]

Thanks -there's obviously some mental preparation required on my part,

I've never talked to anyone about any of this, except when I've been

caught and that was years ago, some really pointless sex years ago,

and recently some online fantasy stuff, so to actually

set up the appointment and to really do this has been a hurdle. I just

want thing to go well, and try to be open, and go from there, but

if it makes my life better, it's worth it. I do think it could help,

so I'm going to give it my best shot, and hope for the best

[Guest Carly]

Samantha...

I'm going through the same thing. My first appointment is friday. Let me know how it goes.

[Guest Samantha1]

Hey good luck Carly.

I'm very happy right now after my first session,

this was a good choice for me.

I have a lot of confidence in my therapist, and I went in

being as open as I could be -which took some preparation

on my part, but I did it. It is kind of shocking to really

speak out about things, and especially admit to just how

many really dumbs things I've done. But I'm going to keep

at it, and I feel really good about this choice. I think

she can help me.

[Guest Orva26]

Glad to hear that things went well for ya Samantha!

I have my first appointment with a GT tomorrow. I hope I can get similar results. My mind has been oscillating between hyper-drive a null for a few days. Its strange.

[Guest Samantha1]

Glad to hear that things went well for ya Samantha!

I have my first appointment with a GT tomorrow. I hope I can get similar results. My mind has been oscillating between hyper-drive a null for a few days. Its strange.

Yeh Orva! (OOh! I like being a cheerleader)

Hi, it's good to hear from you again. I think you made a very good choice. It's really strange

preparing for this - but think about it - you walk in the door, you say Hi, you do your best, and you've

all ready achieved something significant. From there, who knows, but think what it took just to get

this far - very cool!

[Guest Orva26]

Thanks!

I have 18 hours to go till appointment time. Providing the weather doesn't mess everything up. CT is a strange state, when its nice outside people are crazy drivers (crazier than NY), but if it rains or snows EVERYONE goes 15mph.

Aside from the weather I need to steel myself against chickening out, especially since I'll be driving there from work (provided the campus isn't closed) which means I will go past the town I live in. I doubt I'll chicken out, been far to crazed about this for that to happen.

I don't know what my mental state will be like tomorrow with therapy immediately on the horizon but:

Now is sleep time!

-Orva

[Guest Samantha1]

Thanks!

I have 18 hours to go till appointment time.

Oh, the suspense! I drove to the office a couple days before to make sure I knew

where her office was, which is pretty funny, like I'd get lost or something.

Hopefully they're not as crazy as Boston drivers, I've worked all over the US,

and Boston drivers seriously scare me. Over here in MN, we're really nice drivers,

unless you use your turn signals to change lanes, then we cut you off. One can't

be too nice, I guess, but I make a point of not being that way. I let people in

when they use their turn signals.

I know I really wanted to start talking to someone about who I am, what I'm feeling,

what I've been going thru, what I need to make a go of things, so I left the Samantha-chicken

at home, instead I got as much rest as I could (I mean it's a big day) and walked in

very brave (roar! but a nice "roar!" of course). In an odd way things are kind of fun

for a change. I attached a small (60kb) caption I thought you might like,

Good luck with everything

[Guest Samantha1]

I attached a small (60kb) caption I thought you might like,

oops! I think I've been censored, I didn't think it was dirty,

but of course I apologize.

Let me try another one and see what happens

(Orva, this wasn't the one I wanted to send)