First Psych Appointment Yesterday

[Guest lauren33]

Well yesterday I went to see a psych for the first time for an evaluation to get hormones. I waited 4 months for it. So I go into his office and he begins to ask me about my sexual past. A little weird but whatever . Then he tells me that people who transition and have surgery almost never turn out happy. Well like I am happy now He then said i might have to move to montreal (other side of the country)to be seen by a team of specialists every 15 days Oh yeah then he said that I would have to live full time for 2 YEARS before I could have srs now i was getting really upset. I told him that becoming a woman was all I think about cuz it is I cannot help that. THEN he says well now it has become an obsession an obsessive people never end up happy . My heart was punding now cuz this is the guy who is supposed to be the one who decides if I am mentaly stable enough for hrt He told me to come back in a month and he would look intolocal TEAMS .I was sooo upset after leaving that I cried. I NEVER EVER cry EVER. Now I feel like I just took a huge step backwards with my progress.Oh yeah this guy was about 80 years old maybe he should be the one having the evaluation Then I calmed down a little and phoned my doctor. Now I have to start the wait all over again. I was soooooo excited to actually start that I should have known something would go wrong cuz it always doe for me. Anyway I will let you know what my doc says on thursday. It better be good or I am going to go crazy for sure

xoxoxolauren

[Guest Isobelle Fox]

Wow.

I would have been upset too.

I can understand, to some extent, why it is recommended for TS people to have counseling as they progress. In the right hands, I think it can be a serious aid to getting on in life in general. I know personally that being this way and dealing with it poorly has given me a whole host of issues that I really do need help unravelling. But, I also think that the gatekeeper mentality can be abused sometimes too. These people are just that - people. They are not free from bias and they do not know everything. I find myself agreeing with Just Evelyn (author of Mom I Need to Be a Girl) to some extent when she says that a lot of these people should be paying US because we are educating THEM.

Anyway, remember who the boss is in your life. You. Listen to your heart, do what you need to do, and if one doctor fails to recognize that you are the boss and that you are doing what you need to do, look for another one.

Here's hoping that things get better for you. Whatever you do, don't give up.

[Guest lauren33]

I guess I just have to laugh at this experience and move on. I probably won't get an appointment again until january it looks like That's crazy . 6months? talk about incompetant care! Why does it have to be so difficult for me to move forward? Nothing is going to change so I will just have to push forward and hope for the best. I am sooo glad that I can come here and chat and use this forum, and nobody will treat me like a freak. thanks to all for listening.

xoxoxo Lauren

[Guest Mia]

Lauren,

I am in no way defending this guy, but a lot of therapists use this technique at first. When I first tried to get the ball rolling on all of this, the therapist I was seeing laid out all the negatives of transitioning on my first visit. I would probably lose all my friends (which happened). My family wouldn't understand (which happened). I probably wouldn't be able to afford it (which I couldn't). My job wouldn't understand (they found a way to fire me). My wife and I would probably seperate (we did for several months). And so on... Basically what he did for me was to really show me how hard this would be. It has been even harder than he made it sound, but he did his best to prepare me for the hardships. Transitioning is tough and to make it through you have to be tougher. Don't let his words bring you down, but use them as a battle plan. The next therapist you see might do the same thing, but at least you will be prepared this time.

[Guest Isobelle Fox]

Well, you have a good attitude about it, and thats important. Just move ahead and keep smiling. : ) And I'm glad we have this place to come and talk too. I've learned a lot and its been a great help and comfort to me.

I want to say that I think Mia makes some good points too. It is necissary to be realistic, and it is the job of a counselor, in part, to determine if we are ready and capable of running the gauntlet of challenges before us. No doubt they can be terribly difficult to overcome. So, some preperatory warning is good, and its probably also good to note how we, as individuals, respond to the suggestion of the challenges to come.

Anyway, try to be patient and not to get discouraged. And keep us updated on your progress!

[Guest harvester52]

One thing that might help you at your next appointment is to start living as a woman (if you can). I have been living full time for six months, and haven't yet seen a therapist, but I have been successful in getting and keeping a job, keeping my family close, keeping my close-knit group of friends, etc. I'll bet that when I go into get evaluated before I start T, and I tell the psych. all these things when he/she/xe tries to bring up all the negative things, they'll be like, "Wow, he's got it all figured out."

Just a tip, I feel it could really help you at your next appointment.

-BC

[Guest Rory]

Hi

Do you mind me asking which province you're in? It doesn't sound like the psych you saw knows anythings about 'gender issues'. From what you wrote it sounds like he was very unprofessional, and I would definitely suggest you try and find someone else to see. BC basically follows the standards of care used in the US so...if you can pay for surgeries you don't have to wait 2 years i don't think.

Sorry it was such a bad experience, try looking online, you can probably find someone who is much more supportive and willing to help you.

[Guest lauren33]

well now that i have had time to think about it. I still am not sure if my psch was trying to see if i was real by scaring me or what. But it still doesn't explain the sexual questions. I don't know cuz i've never been to a psychiatrist before.Matbe i will go back to see him just for my own piece of mind. I want this more than anything in the world. I have called around and it is very hard to find a trans friendly therapist. I live in BC so if anybody knows of any ways to help I'm all ears .I will let you know what my doctor thinks about it all when i see him on wednesday he is on holidays right now.

xoxoxo lauren

[Guest raydub]

well..good luck in this next appointment.. we're rooting for ya!

Ray

[Guest lauren33]

thanks raydub. it's cool to know that others are thinking of me or my situation

lauren xoxo

[Guest lauren33]

GREAT NEWS . yesterday i had an appointment with my gp. my psych that i saw wrote a letter to my gp and he faxed it to the local endocrinologist and he said, it's good enough and he will start seeing me in august my doctor called me on the phone 5 minutes after i left his office and said "i hope you aren't driving right now" so i pulled over and he told me the news. i instantly felt like i was floating i screamed and shed a tear or two i was uncontrollably happy and still am. I can't wait. now there is an acual pathway laid out in front of me , all i have to do is stay on it.Kinda funny cuz July 1st i said that i was going to do everything that i could to make this happen then BOOM the next day it did.

thanks for letting me ramble i just want to tell everyone(almost)

Laurenxoxo

[Guest Isobelle Fox]

Wow, Lauren, thats amazing and awesome news : )

I'm really happy for you and a bit jealous too. ::laughs:: Progress is good.

[Guest lauren33]

thanks isobelle. i thought it was going to be a really long dragged out thing for me., well i still have to see the endo, and hopefully that goes just as smoothly for me. i will post and let you all know on aug 15 what exactly happens.

xoxoxo lauren

[Guest lauren33]

well it's almost time. i go to see the endocrinologist tomorrow. i am very nervous. i hope everything goes well. i just can't help but have this feeling that something will go wrong. i can't help it. but by noon tomorrow i will let you all know how it went. i feel like i could throw up right now ,tomorrow i will bw a wreck well wish me luck.

lauren xoxo

[Guest lauren33]

well i had myappointment with the endocrinologist. it went well. he was so nice. he had me laughing right away wich was comfoting cuz i love to laugh. we talked for a while and he told me his plans for my hrt. only thing i have to do now is go and see one more "specialist". cuz he follows the harry benjamin rules. he said that he was very confident that after my first visit with her, she would give the ok to start hrt. yay only 1 person standing between me and meds now. oh ya and the day after i saw the endo i had all my bloodwork done aswell i hate needles. since that i have come out to my older brother too, but that is another story. that's it for now so till next time

lauren xoxo

[Guest Jasmine is questioning]

Well ive read this whole thing and thats wonderfull news. I might have some considerable oposition at the therapist's office too. I have a few underlaying conditions that might affect their decision for the worse but idk. Wonderfull news im happy for you!

[Guest lauren33]

well i heard back frome the doc yesterday. this is the doc that will ok hrt, even she thought it was odd that i have to still see her after seeing all the other ones. no matter, the appointment is on saturday YAY finally i can see an end in the lineup of doctors . anyway i hope all goes well with her. she was very highly talked of by my endo supposed to be like the leading expert around here. i will be deathly nervous i know but i'll get through it. the funnel of all that has been my life up to this point, is getting smaller and more in one direction .(flowing if you will). it's finally coming together. anyway i'll let you all know for those that read my posts, what happens. wish me luck again girls.

Lauren xoxo

[Guest lauren33]

well i saw the therapist yesterday. she was really nice. we talked for 2 hours. she told me she wants to put me on spiro right away, but not estrogen yet cuz my home life isn't quiet stable enough. at first i was upset but then i realized that she was right. i can;t deal with the emoyional ups and downs of estrogen right now with everything else. so i plan to correct that part of my life asap. i go to see her again this saturday.i have to fill out some forms and hopefully she will give me that darn spiro. and on it goes i guess. i'll get back with what happens next week.

lauren xoxo

[Guest lauren33]

well i was supposed to have another appointment this past saturday with the therapist but had to reschedule. i called her the monday before the appointment and she still has not called back . i don't know what to do she said she was going to start me on spiro, but now i have no idea what's happening. i am just so frustrated with all of this. i am doing my part but it seems nobody wants to really help me.

[Guest lauren33]

well i finally heard from my therapistalmost 2 weeks to the day later. i go back on the 27th and my wife is taking me there. how weird is that? i am supposed to be starting spiro on this visit, so hopefully nothing else goes wrong. i can't wait to start hrt i am so excited. well that's it for now. i'll post what happens as it happens.

lauren xoxo

[Guest lauren33]

well i saw my therapist today. she was very happy for me that my wife was accepting. she was worried that i might do something drastic. i would not ever do that. i can understand why people do, but if i offed myself i'd never know what it was like to be myself. that's just not an option. so she said she would give a letter to the endo that i saw and i think you all know what that means. so i'm on my way. and to think it only took 34 years of me being totally miserable to get to this point . so for now i won't post anymore until i actually start taking meds cuz i am running out of things to say i guess. so till then.................

lauren xoxo

[Guest raydub]

i know this was a while back but Congratulations.

please let us know how hormone treatment goes.

help keep the other ladies around here encouraged.

Ray

[Guest lauren33]

well i haven't posted on this for abit cuz I still am waiting to start hrt. 13 more sleeps and I am there i'll let everybody know how it goes from day one on. I am so excited I can't wait I'm thinking of doing some sort of daily pic thing to see the changes in me as they happen. We''ll see, still haven't decided. Does anybody think this is a good idea? or........

[Guest gamergirl]

Hi Lauren33 I am glad to hear you got treatment. Just in answering your question, taking pictures daily may be a bit too much. Patience is a virtue, and with hormones changes come, but it takes time, so you should give it time, and just enjoy your hrt. At least my suggestion