Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

First Appointment


Guest Jesse0319

Recommended Posts

Guest Stephen-Renae

(Okay, just completely lost my post due to trying to install the spell check. Still not installed. Rather open another tab. -.- )

So for those that don't know, I'm 17, FtM. My mom finally found a list of GTs in my area, and we picked one out that wasn't oo old or too young. She even got her doctorate from one of the colleges I'm considering, so I really hope it goes well! Mom's gonna' call tomorrow to set up the first appointment. I'm kinda' nervous, but also excited! Especially since my mom finally seems to be getting 'further on board' with the idea, so to speak. My dad knows, too, though he and I haven't talked about it. Apparently, he really wants me to see a TG, so I guess he's sort of okay with it. Awesome~!

Just wanted to share the excitement!

Link to comment
  • Admin

That's really great news, Stephen. You are so lucky to have supportive parents.

Since you're new here, you might want to look through the Therapy and Therapists sub-forum to get some ideas of what to expect, what

questions you might want to ask, etc. If you don't find the answers you need, just post your questions.

I wish you all the luck in the world that you find a good one.

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest Stephen-Renae

Okay, so that particular therapist isn't taking any more clients for therapy at the moment. However, my mom already found another - A guy - and the appointment is set for next Monday! I've looked over both the therapy and transexual forums as suggested, and I've got my notebook, pencil, and list of questions ready! He's just a general therapist, as my mom isn't keen on an actual Gender Therapist yet ( I had found one near to us who specialised in LGBT issues, anxiety/fear, AND accepted our insurence, but mom said no because of the LGBT aspect...) but it's good for now. Apparently, while on the phone, he asked my mom what sorts of problems we're dealing with. She answered in a super-general 'there's a lot of different things going on at the moment', so it'll be totally up to me to bring up what -my- main issue is. Also, I've been given the option of whether I want my mom in the room WITH me on the first day, or if he'll talk to my mom, then me, then the three of us. Any opinions on this? I'll go with what I'm comfortable with, of course, but I'd like opinions anyway :)

On a side note, I made my first packer yesterday and wore it around the house a bit. I've discovered that it completely overrides my chest dysphoria (which is so bad that it's the reason I asked for a therapist in the first place). I've always had a bit of a knack with inventing new things or better versions of stuff, so I'll probably post my progress in the FtM forum when some of the kinks are worked out.

Link to comment
Guest Avery F

Hey, great to hear about your packer's effect on your chest dysphoria!

You asked whether we had any recommendations about how you should talk with your therapist - I'd definitely suggest talking alone with him first. That way, you can scope him out, try and figure out whether he's got experience or at least a good grounding in theory regarding trans issues. If at all possible, I'd actually recommend that you try and talk to him one-on-one BEFORE your mother does so; that way there's less chance she'll convince him that your GID is all some crazy phase or a bad body image or whatever.

Lastly, if the therapist doesn't seem to have a good grasp on trans issues, or if the two of you just don't get on, please, don't hesitate to terminate your visits! I know how much damage going to a bad therapist can do, and trust me, it's not something you want to risk happening to you. Bad as your GID might be, if the therapist is not satisfactory, just get out and wait a while until you find another one. If your mother makes you go to this therapist even if you don't like him, remember that you don't have to talk to him; if necessary, you can just sit there and say nothing for the whole visit, and eventually your mother will stop spending money in order for you basically to do nothing for an hour or whatever.

Sorry if I seem to have overreacted on the therapist thing; it's a subject on which I have very strong opinions. Anyway, I hope your visit on Monday goes well!

Link to comment
Guest Stephen-Renae
You asked whether we had any recommendations about how you should talk with your therapist - I'd definitely suggest talking alone with him first. That way, you can scope him out, try and figure out whether he's got experience or at least a good grounding in theory regarding trans issues. If at all possible, I'd actually recommend that you try and talk to him one-on-one BEFORE your mother does so; that way there's less chance she'll convince him that your GID is all some crazy phase or a bad body image or whatever.

That's what I was thinking, really. Also, my mom is all for switching therapists if I want to - she keeps saying "Remember, if you don't like this one, we can always try another!" So, I think I'm good there. I'm gonna' be blunt about being Transgender, and that I wanted therapy to help start off my transition, and to help my dysphoria. My mom's mainly concerned that I've been showing signs of depression/not hanging out with friends much/etc. In other words, broad concerns. Depending on his reaction to me being Trans, I'll follow up with stuff like 'How much do you know on this subject', and 'would you be willing to learn and help me with my goal', stuff like that.

I just hope I can convince him that I'm a mature teen, because really, I am. I've never thought like a normal teenager. I look at things from as many angles as possible, and all that...it seems like half of the adults I know see me as a mature young adult, the other half think I'm just a smart kid. I hope he's part of the former.

Thanks for your input!

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

That's what I was thinking, really. Also, my mom is all for switching therapists if I want to - she keeps saying "Remember, if you don't like this one, we can always try another!" So, I think I'm good there. I'm gonna' be blunt about being Transgender, and that I wanted therapy to help start off my transition, and to help my dysphoria. My mom's mainly concerned that I've been showing signs of depression/not hanging out with friends much/etc. In other words, broad concerns. Depending on his reaction to me being Trans, I'll follow up with stuff like 'How much do you know on this subject', and 'would you be willing to learn and help me with my goal', stuff like that.

I just hope I can convince him that I'm a mature teen, because really, I am. I've never thought like a normal teenager. I look at things from as many angles as possible, and all that...it seems like half of the adults I know see me as a mature young adult, the other half think I'm just a smart kid. I hope he's part of the former.

Thanks for your input!

You are more than a smart kid, you are well aware of your world and how to manage it - it's something many old, mature, all-knowing 'adults' cannot do... so don't sell yourself short.

I like the way you have worked this out and how your mom seems to be concerned for you! GREAT report, and PLEASE keep us updated!

izzy

Link to comment
Guest Stephen-Renae

Okay, just got back from my appointment; it had been moved from Monday to Tuesday because my brother has Tae Kwon Do on Mondays and couldn't miss it. That was totally okay with me.

So, I was a little uneasy when we got into the building, but I just accounted it to being nervous. First thing I noticed was the guy's office was set up like someone's living room. I wasn't expecting that, but when I think about it, it kind of makes sense. Probably something to do with making your patient comfortable and whatnot. However...not to be rude or stereotypical in any way, but it looked and smelled like any of my great-grandparents' places. It was really uncomfortable for a teenager like me.

So, instead of talking to him by myself first, me and mom went in together. Good choice, really. Right after he took names, address, etc., I told him that my reason for being there was because I'm trans. He became very...'at a loss for words' after that; he stumbled over his wording a lot, though he did say that he had some experience, because he had worked at some women's prison, and that type of thing wasn't uncommon o.0

After that, he took my side. Straight away, even though he noticed - and mentioned - how uncomfortable my mom is about it. I really don't care if I was 'getting my way' at the point, it was totally unprofessional, in my opinion.

So, we talked, and he mentioned several times how impressed he was with how much thought I had put into this. It was getting to the end of the session, when my mom asked if he had any ideas to help me when I'm hit with dysphoria (with different wording). He said, he would have some next time. Meaning he had to go look some up. Surely any therapist would have some idea of what their patient could do to keep them from hurting themselves. Ugh. Basically he said to focus on something else, like schoolwork (of course, why didn't I think of that? *end sarcasm*). Then, though, he said that I had to....hm, can't remember the wording...basically, I had to remember and understand that this problem [in reference to GID] isn't my most immediate problem, that I need to essentially put it to the back of my mind and focus on the more here-and-now problems, like school. Are. You. KIDDING?! How is this not a here-and-now problem? I didn't say that, though.

Eventually, my mom laughs and says that we've always had a problem with me being bored. Which is totally true, and I laughed, too. I'm what you would call a "Gifted Learner" - determined by a few tests done through the school that said I learned at a faster rate than other students, basically. With 'gifted' people, boredom is inevitable - obviously, when you learn most things quickly, you'll want to continue learning different things, to keep you stimulated. And for no other reason than to be learning something. Well...he took the boredom comment, and said it's a very common sign....of ADD.

Now, I don't believe in any stereotypes of ADD/ADHD. Nor do I know a whole lot about it. But once he said it, I was mad. I know I don't have ADD. He started talking about how he has ADD, and this is the medication that he takes for it, and how it helps so much.....I have OCD. Not ADD. It was the most animated he'd been since entering the room. He literally, in many, many more words, told me that I have ADD. After saying that therapists aren't supposed to push their ideas onto you. Pfft.

Needless to say, we're not going back. Mom said it'll probably take her a while to find another therapist, but I recommended one and she said she'll look into it. I also suggested that she find one with a picture in their profile, because if I had seen a picture of this guy, I wouldn't have went.

So, there's my update. Sorry it's so long! ^-^;

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

DANG

At least your mom picked up early he was a dud! I wish you could find a qualified GENDER DYSPHORIA therapist, sigh - it would save all sortsa time - AND - money!

Anyway - you are on your journey.

Lizzy

Link to comment
Guest Stephen-Renae

Yeah, a qualified GT would be best, but my mom is still struggling with accepting this, and doesn't want me to go to one. I've tried to convince her, but she won't budge. I'm hoping to find a good therapist that will recommend me to one. Maybe then my mom will start accepting it a bit more.

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Yeah, a qualified GT would be best, but my mom is still struggling with accepting this, and doesn't want me to go to one. I've tried to convince her, but she won't budge. I'm hoping to find a good therapist that will recommend me to one. Maybe then my mom will start accepting it a bit more.

Sounds like a good plan!

Keep us updated.

Lizzy

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Stephen-Renae

Okay, well, we're having a bit of a problem locating a new therapist. The one I recommended to my mom doesn't take our insurance, so he's out. After the first...erm, 'fiasco', my mom said that she's "not too sure how to find another one". I've looked at the few most well-known lists of GT's and whatnot, but we're not even close to any of those cities!

Would anyone happen to know any therapists - Gender or otherwise - roughly in the tri-state area? Or a reliable website that we can use to find one? We're both kind of at a loss, here. I was planning on meeting with my school psychologist, but not until a few appointments with another therapist! That's gonna' be my next step, but it's still a little ways off :)

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Stephen-Renae

So we still haven't found a therapist. I'm trying not to get too impatient, but I have suggested a few things to my mom - and she doesn't want to try them. I know doctors have way more connections than their patients do, so I said, "why don't we ask our family doctor?" he could recommend me to a good general therapist, then they might recommened a GT. She doesn't want our family doctor knowing about it.

So, I talked to the school nurse. She was totally understanding and all, and she said she'd do some research to see if she could find a therapist (she's looking for a Gender Therapist first, a good general therapist if she can't find a GT) and get back to me on Friday. Depending on if she finds anyone, we'll consult together, then she'll talk to my mom alone about seeing them. It was a fairly good day.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 186 Guests (See full list)

    • Karen Carey
    • NathanJuche
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,085
    • Most Online
      8,356

    blakethetiredracc00n
    Newest Member
    blakethetiredracc00n
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. FullyHart
      FullyHart
    2. MariPosa
      MariPosa
      (65 years old)
    3. pechenezhka
      pechenezhka
      (17 years old)
    4. Rubycd
      Rubycd
      (59 years old)
    5. Yana
      Yana
      (31 years old)
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      He has also vowed to NOT ACCEPT the election results even if they  clearly show he lost.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://watermarkonline.com/2024/05/13/trump-vows-to-reverse-transgender-student-protections-on-day-one/     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-politics-and-policy/mississippi-reeves-transgender-bathroom-ban-public-schools-rcna152036     As in every such case, who will check birth certificates at the restroom doors?  This law will not, and can not, stand.  We'll see you in court, governor.   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      I've been looking forward to the legitimate medical groups coming out strongly against Cass' biased and one sided report, so I'm really glad to see the article you posted, @Davie.  Unfortunately, it won't get nearly the coverage that Cass has gotten.  She has done her dirty work.  Hopefully the pushback and investigative reports on her and her support network will result in her work being shown for what it is.  She is a fraud, and sooner or later all frauds are found out.   Carolyn Marie
    • KayC
      CONGRATULATIONS, Jessica!!  That's really BIG! I myself did not experience a huge emotional roller coaster.  It was more like a smooth slide into emotional comfort.  The biggest effect I felt is when my Dr put me on T-blockers first.  I felt a bit 'empty' for a couple of months, but then realized it was just because the 'T-monster' was no longer running around inside of me.  Then I felt it was my new 'normal'. I feel like the estradiol was the 'frosting' on my transition affirmation.  It's been only positives.  I do cry a lot more, but it's only because I finally feel free to allow my emotions to come out.  To me it's not 'hormonal' ... it's FREEDOM!   Everybody is different but it sounds like you are under great care.  I hope you have a beautiful first year in transition on HRT (keep us updated if you can).
    • Desert Fox
      Yeah, whatever happened to “good morning”?  I think “hey you” can also work to address people without offense…”you” can be single or plural so that works for any gender, non binary, or any group of people, and can be pleasantly offensive or neutral.   And I am very familiar with the experience of being “ma’amed” while in boy mode, particularly on the phone by customer support people located outside north America for some reason. 
    • KayC
      I'm hoping this election cycle might finally cause 'that' party to pay a price for such nonsense.
    • Desert Fox
      So nice to hear things are going well for you. Support is huge and that is especially great when it comes from your SO as well as your family and son. I think being happy with one’s own life’s direction can set the stage for not only other successes but attract others who are in alignment with one’s own ideals. it sounds like you are definitely on a positive trajectory!
    • Desert Fox
      There is some progress being made, some positive awakening from those who understand the difference between biology and the societal roles and rules that have been created by humans to separate, restrict and control other humans. Unfortunately so many people are still set in one way of thinking about gender, whether it benefits them directly to do so or they just fail to think about things for themselves for whatever reason, and they often cite religious or other historical sources to try to back up their argument, sources which typically could be open to various interpretations.   Pushing boundaries is what makes progress and it’s what we are meant to do…but most everyone that has pushed a boundary also gets pushback. Most everyone who has disagreed with conventional thought is called a fool or worse; those who invent something get ridiculed and laughed out, then their ideas are stolen for someone else’s profit. We suffer tremendously to push boundaries but ultimately it’s what society needs to evolve.
    • Ashley0616
      Goodness! You sure have been busy! That's really crappy of what your oldest pulled. That part about the talking about getting asked if it's an enhancement was funny. I guess your boss is going to miss you and just has a funny way of showing it? 
    • Desert Fox
      I read this thread with great interest…thank you, Sally for sharing your life in this detail. As I too identify as bigender, I suppose I am also looking for validation of my experience because I don’t know many transgender individuals that stay in a long-term part-time situation. For most, bigender seems to be a temporary step to fill-time transition or it is more of something someone puts on, as in cross dressing or drag. I have always struggled to explain how someone could legitimately have two identities sharing one body, yet that’s basically how it has been for me for my whole life, all the way back to early childhood.    You and I are roughly in the same era, and growing up with gender variance was different than it is nowadays. Some of our experiences were similar, but generally your life went quite differently than mine.   Back in the day, a part-time person was called a transvestite and a full-timer was called a transsexual (often committing to bottom surgery as well), but I’ve really come to dislike the cross dresser/transvestite label because it tends to be associated with those who are fine with being cis, but like to dress in drag for fun or fetish. And that doesn’t describe all part-timers. I would say that I’m actually a transsexual who chose never to transition, and presenting female part-time is how I have coped with lifelong gender dysphoria. I don’t like myself being male, and never did, I simply accept that I am and have lived most of my life that way and just don’t care to put in the effort and money to transition.  I’m naturally a pretty girly male but I have to add hair, makeup and clothing to present female and I also try to “tone down” my girliness in male form. True androgyny never worked for me; I always switched between male and female looks, but at least that allowed me to use public bathrooms without issue.     I’m very curious - did you have a set of people, ie friends, family, coworkers, who only knew you as “male” and another set who knew you as Sally, with only a few (like your wife) knowing both sides? Such was more or less the case with me. 
    • mattie22
      I feel like a fake sometimes I am not really transfeminine WELL UNDER THEAT UMBRALA but whatever i call it. Like i do not deserve it others know ealer than me and did not identify as their gender at birth well It is more like just enough of me did to get by growing up and there were not many other options on what else i could be and when i got older i just found out about the standard trans people feel like they're born in the wrong body and i saw my self as a male so this could not be me even though it did not comply fit me. even though there is a part of me that likes to be seen and treated like a woman and ideally would probably like to live at least 70 percent of my time as one and perhaps the rest as male but what does this make a freak. also, I am around people who do not like people like me and they are family and do not know. this makes me feel even worse. Sometimes I wonder if I m just some gnc male, who is just using this as an escape if I become a woman for real I do not have to deal with all the crap that comes with being a feminine bisexual male. There are so many layers.
    • MaeBe
      I bet you looked every pennies worth of that million! I'm sure, even beyond the courtier's interactions it was a very fun evening.
    • MaeBe
      I haven't been posting much, it's been a bit of a whirlwind: My wife took a job in WA State, meaning we're moving halfway across the country by the end of the Summer. I was told "it would be good if you had a new job by the end of the month", meaning I'm getting laid off at the same time. My eldest snuck booze while we were at our friends' house, had a bad interaction with his anti-depressants, and then had the huevos to lie that he wasn't drunk while accusing us of not trusting him. There's been a lot to process lately.   That said, I got called ma'am for the first time today while out. Twice! I can't stop thinking about it. Later, my dad showed up without plan to watch the Liverpool match and I was way more girled up (see ma'am) than he's ever seen me; hair, makeup, tight top, skinny jeans, and brand new sandals. At one point he pointed at my boob and asked, "is that 'enhancement'?". If you call a t-shirt bra enhancement, I guess? "Nope, that's just me!". Later, my boss came at me all passive-aggressive via chat after hours, too. I'm kind of tired with his -crap-. I won't have a job in two weeks, so it's cool to just assume I'm sabotaging things? K. /eyeroll   It's been an interesting day.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 12   “First Kiss”   It was October 29th, 2003.  My dear friend Willa had purchased tickets for the two of us to attend “Red Hot Halloween,” a public Halloween party held at the Sanctuary in downtown Pittsburgh.  The event was a fund raiser benefitting the Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force.  It was a great cause but it was also the perfect opportunity to let the adventurous side of my feminine persona have a little fun.    My first question to Willa was: “What should I wear?”    “Are you kidding?” She responded.  “This is your opportunity to be the Sally of your dreams.  I suggest you dress to impress.”   My first thought was to dress naughty.  It was Halloween, so it could be the perfect venue for something with an erotic edge to it.  I thought about going as a dominatrix or a naughty French maid.  After we talked about it, and weighed the pros and cons, Willa and I decided against naughty, and instead, chose to wear the fanciest evening gowns we could find.  Willa bought an expensive, silver sequined gown, and matching high-heels just for the event.  Me, on the other hand, I couldn’t justify spending big bucks on an evening gown for a single event, so I took a less expensive route.  It is amazing what you can find on the sale racks at big department stores when you look hard enough.  For a mere 30-dollars, I found a black, sleeveless column gown with matching bolero jacket.  The dress had a slit up the right leg, and it went all the way to my upper thigh, very sexy.  Being a column dress, it was form-fitting, and hugged my curves like a glove.  To complement my dress, I wore black patent high-heel pumps, a long blonde wig, and a set of long red fingernails.  As I recall, it took me three-hours just to do my makeup.  The end result, though, was worth the effort, because I felt like a million bucks.  It’s so obvious, why girls love dressing up – it’s an unbelievable high!   Inside the club it was a sea of bodies and the costumes were amazing.  At one point, I was standing on a balcony that overlooked the dance floor.  I was nursing a cocktail and watching the crowd.  Suddenly, there was a gentleman standing next to me; I didn’t notice his approach.  He told me I looked fabulous and he offered to buy me another drink.  I declined his drink offer, but we struck up a conversation.  Being a little slow, it took me a while to realize he was hitting on me. I never imagined anyone would ever actually be attracted to Sally, which I think contributed to my cluelessness.  So, I was shocked, and initially, a little creeped out as well.  After all, I wasn't into guys, and this was new to me.  As we continued talking, and he kept throwing accolades my way, I went from being uncomfortable to actually being flattered.    The event, being an AIDS fund raiser, had me assuming this guy was hitting on me because he was gay, and he thought I was, as well.  I wanted to set the record straight, so I casually mentioned that I wasn’t gay.  To my amazement, he responded by saying: “neither am I.”  Okay, now what was I supposed to do?  I didn’t want to be rude, but I didn’t want to send the wrong message either.  While I was trying to decide how to tell him I wasn’t interested, he asked if he could kiss me.  Not sure what I was thinking at that moment, I said “okay.”  He kissed me, and as strange as it was, I gave into it, not pulling away or disengaging.  It wasn’t a super passionate kiss, but it was more than a friendly peck on the lips, and I actually enjoyed it.  When we separated; however, I got the sense his passion had cooled.  I could only assume that my response to his kiss sent some kind of message that I wasn’t interested.    Whatever it was he picked up on, it let me off the hook, and I didn’t have to rebuff any further advances.  For this I was grateful, but at the same time, I was actually a little disappointed.  Clearly, I wasn’t going to lead him on, but it was so gratifying to know I had sparked his interest.  Despite his diminished passion, and his obvious realization I wasn’t going to be his girl, he remained the perfect gentleman.  We chatted for a few minutes more, then he gave me the nicest smile.  Again, he commented on how terrific I looked.  Then he added, “maybe I’ll see you later.”    It was hard for me to reconcile how I could have garnered the attention of a man.  In my mind’s eye, I knew my feminine presentation didn’t completely mask my birth sex, so why would a self-proclaimed straight guy actually be interested in me?  Had it been the only time something like this would happen, I would have chalked it up to random chance.  But it wouldn’t be the last time a man would hit on me.  It doesn’t happen often, but it still occurs more than I would have guessed, and I'm always surprised.    I have never asked, but I have always been curious to know my would-be suitor’s motivations.  Were they hitting on me simply because they happened to be fond of trans women, or was their attraction triggered by connecting with my inner woman?  And, however unlikely, did they mistake me for a cis woman?  I guess it really doesn’t matter much one way or the other, because ultimately, I’m not looking for any kind of a relationship.  However, I’d be fibbing if I said I wasn’t at least a little interested in another opportunity to get kissed.   Hugs,   Sally
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...