Hi ^^

[Guest Bemused]

[WARNING: very long rant/story I'm sorry about this]

Hey everyone my name is Brandon. I have yet to think of a name I really want for when I finaly make the move to becoming

a woman. I'm 18 years old and as far back as I can remember I have always hated my body. I'm 5,11 scared thats why to tall

to be a woman... I have always tryed to keep my body as girly as possible every since I was 10.. I weigh 128pounds

I usually wear a mix of guys and girls cloths so I feel like me but I don't turn to many heads usually just size zero pants

and always unisex shoes (converse etc..) but secertly in my room I have always dressed in dresses or things I find pretty

I remember growing up always wishing I could be in the girls group for PE instead of suck with the boys who I had nothing

in common with. I would always want my mom to take me out to get my nails done with her but everytime I asked they would always act like I said nothing

or was joking I hated the fact the world always treated be differently then how I felt inside . . for a long time I never

understood why it wasn't until 9th grade I truely desided I was transgender before.. I just knew I was different and hoped

I would grow out of it . . doesn't look like I will (thats a good thing imo) I like being me . . even though it usually sucks

I use to sit infront of the mirror and cry because I have a guys body ( I would cry because no one would ever see the real me as long as I looked liked

this) I can alrdy pull off a decent girl in just drag/makeup/wig when I change into a girl I do not wish to remove my parts. Those are the ones I was meant

to have. I don't agree with changeing them I believe your gender is not your parts but more of a personality thing. Its like just who you are inside. I don't

agree with a baby being born looking down.. and saying its a boy or a girl . . because they couldn't know that just but looking at their parts.. wish people

would understand that I doubt they ever will though. I'm scared about this move because I feel as though I will just end up alone.. more alone then if I just

continued hiding it I can't make up my mind if coming out about this or changeing is going to be worth it. (I would love to so much) but I'm scared

I am only open about this with 2 people in my life. My parents don't believe in gay/les/trans they are all just sinners going to hell

sounds.. exciting.. nothing like burning for the rest of your days ^^ >.< ouch!.

I'm attracted to women which brings me to my next point. I am rarely attracted to guys their has only been a hand full I would ever dream about being with

would it be just completely silly to live as a transsexual woman and still date women? I don't see that working . . but thats how I feel

or maybe if I lived more like a woman I will be attracted to more men.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Bemused,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

would it be just completely silly to live as a transsexual woman and still date women?

Not at all. Many of us identify as lesbian or bisexual. Do what feels right for you and don't worry about what others may think. It's your life after all.

MaryEllen

[Guest jessi72]

Hi Bemused,

A lot of what you are saying sounds so familar.... Be you and do what you feel is the right thing...as for sexual orientaion, well, being transgender has no bearing on that hun.... I my self am bi and I don't think it has harmed me in any way...You will know what you want and that is all that matters hun... I hope you enjoy it here and best of luck on making your decision... There are a lot of people here that will be willing to throw in their 2 cents and maybe it will help you answer some of your questions....

Nice to meet you and enjoy your stay here...... See you around...

Jessi

[Guest jessi72]

Oooops, forgot something....I am also 5'11''...no thats not to tall to be a woman...women come in all shapes and sizes...

Ok now thats it..

Jessi

[Guest Drew]

hi Bemused welcome to the forums. 5'11 is definitely not too tall to be a woman, i'm 5'6 and some people would say that's too short to be a man...people come in all shapes and sizes.

[Guest raydub]

Bemused!

Welcome to Laura's Playground! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Im glad youve found the Playground. There is a myriad of information to be found here. And if you ever have questions, we are more than willing to give you our take on the situation.

As far as coming out is concerned, or just making sure of the path you are wishing to proceed with..a gender therapist will be able to help you with that. And there are of course resouces online. Many of which have posts here that link to them. Take a look around. Make youself at home and stick around a while.

See you around.

Ray

[Guest sphere]

Hey there. Nice story.

I wouldn't worry about sexuality or height. If it makes you feel any better, I'm gay and I'm only 5'2", which is extremely short for a guy.

Welcome to the forums.

[Guest Jack Solomon]

Hey, bemused, 5'11' is not too tall to be a woman. Nearly every time I go to the grocery store I see a few genetic ladies who are around that height. Also, it's not too uncommon for a transwoman to be primarily attracted to women. many transwomen have perfectly happy relationships with gals. And if you wish to keep the parts, keep the parts. It's possible you may change your mind later on about that, but just do whatever feels right to you.

And one more thing - you're right that people shouldn't judge your gender or mannerisms by your body. But they do. Your gender is in your person, and also most likely originates from a naturally occuring biological variance. In other words, being transsexual is definately something you are born with. Your brain as well as your heart is telling you that you are a female person, and you are.

Good luck

Solomon

[Guest CharliTo]

I can totally relate to you since I've always been a converse wearing gal...and when i finally started wearing women's jeans regularly, I realized that I was wearing jeans that were just like women's jeans already. Haha.

Anyways, it's also normal to identify as a lesbian...I'm like that too... I can totally relate to what you must be struggling ^^

Welcome to the forums and hope you feel good here.

Charlene

[Guest Avery]

I think it's great that you want to keep your parts.

I'm like that.. only.. not really.

Chest surgery would be great right about now..

But hormones are definitely not for me.

Anyway,

like what a majority of users have said - differences in height and sexuality are a-okay.

Everyone isn't the same.

For instance, I'm 5'8 and gay [and very proud].

And.. Catholic.

..

Well, mom and dad won't be too happy.

[i've come out to them already; nothing's changed. It's like I haven't come out..

and they don't know I'm gay.

Sucks for them].

Mm, anyway [again],

welcome to the forums.

Ave

[Guest Link48010]

5'11'' isn't that tall for a women, my sister is like 6'1''. I saw a women who was without doubt the tallest 'person' I've ever seen who was maybe 7'. I'm kind of in the same boat as you though, although to less of an extreme, I'm not a full transgender, but I'm still attacted to females. sometimes I wonder what higher force is messing with me.