I Might Start Seeing A School Counselor..

[Guest Caden_Leon]

So.. I've done some more thorough research on my school's LGBT community. When I did this a month(?) ago, I couldn't really find anything, but now, all of a sudden, all sorts of information is coming up.

I came across a small list of the school's counselors who have experience with the transgender population. They're not certified GT's, but I figure it's better than nothing, especially if I can see them for free.

I think I might give it a try.

However, I'm nervous as heck about it. My hands are sweating just from thinking about it! I know that I don't have the nerve to call, so I'm planning on emailing one of them, but I have no idea as to what I should say or ask or anything. I don't have any experience with receiving counseling of any sort, so I'm quite clueless here. Any advice?

--Caden

[Guest Mina89]

I found my therapist through a referral from one of my school counselors. I'd suggest sending an email asking about their procedure first. At my school, they set up a phone appointment to match me up with a counselor beforehand. If they don't do that, there's probably an "intake" appointment with a general counselor so you don't have to explain your issue to a receptionist or anyone like that, after which they place you with another counselor more experienced in that area. If they're full, they'll probably provide a list of low-fee referrals. This, of course, assumes their office is run well.

If money for an outside GT is an issue, you may get lucky and one of the school counselors who is familiar with trans issues is also familiar with the procedures to begin transition. My therapist isn't strictly a GT, but she has dealt with many transsexual and transgender clients and has a very affirmative policy toward them(e.g. she disputes the classification of GID as a "mental disease" and she even writes most of her conference papers about trans issues).

It's good to give it a shot. It can only expand your network at worst.

-Valerie

[Guest MelissaC]

Hmm, well I'm not amazingly experienced when it comes to counselors, but I have had two or three of them.

In my case I actually found a different issue (something minor) that I was more comfortable talking about with the counselor than my gender, and called about it instead, then spent a few sessions testing the waters by talking about that other issue first and just seeing what this person was like and if they were even someone I wanted to talk about this with at all. Once I had warmed up to the counselor a bit, then I began talking to them about gender issues.

As for what to say?... Well I might put something like "I heard from [source] that you have experience with transgendered people, may I schedule an appointment to ask a few questions?" Or something like that. It's a kind of broad question and talks mostly about them and not you, but it hints strongly enough that I think most good couselors would pick up on the real message from reading it. Then once your appointment comes you can talk, or if you have trouble talking when you do get there they can help of get things going, because they'll have at least figured out where to begin from that (strong) hint.

[Guest Caden_Leon]

Thank you both for your responses. They really helped me to gather up my courage and email the first counselor on the list.

I ended up taking a pretty direct approach to it. Here's a copy of what I wrote to him:

Mr. [name removed],

I was looking at the resources that Rutgers provides for the LGBTQ community, and it said that you are a counselor who has experience with the LGBTQ community.

I was wondering if you have had experience specifically with the transgender population? If so, would it be possible to make an appointment with you? If not, would you be able to refer me to someone who does have experience with transgender students?

Sincerely,

[birth name removed]

I ended up being very redundant, but it was still straight-forward. Short and to the point.

The office is definitely closed by now, so hopefully I'll receive a response tomorrow, if not, then on Monday.

[Guest Mina89]

That looks perfect to me. Sometimes it's just good to squash the fear and trepidation and just come out with the problem, as you've done here.

Too bad I'm not as good at following my own advice.

-Valerie

[Guest Caden_Leon]

Well...

I got a timely response from the counselor. He said that he does have experience with the transgender community, but before I can make an appointment, I have to call the main counseling office and discuss my "issues" with whoever answers the phone, and then they'll "provide the appropriate resources" for me.

I'm not going to lie, I feel a little put off here. For some reason, the wording didn't really sit well with me. I don't feel like I have "issues" aside from occasional depression.. I wouldn't have contacted him directly if I didn't already know what I needed. Why can't I just make my appointment instead of going about this in such a roundabout way? Is this how it ends up being, even with professional therapists?

Everything I've had to contact the college for has always sent me around in circles, and I can't help but feel like this might end the same way. I know it's a very pessimistic way of looking at this, but previous experiences don't leave me very optimistic.

Though, this pessimism could just be spawning from my unwarranted fear of phone calls... I don't know.

I guess I'll just have to suck it up and deal with it, though?

[Guest MelissaC]

Well if you're going to do the phone call, you could maybe tell them that you don't see it as an issue. Rather, it's just something you want the help of someone with experience to move forward with and that's why you're calling this counselor.

Even if it does go around in circles you'll have made progress by learning to look somehwere else, and if it doesn't go in circles then things work out alright right? Give it a shot Caden.

[Guest JaniceW]

Everything I've had to contact the college for has always sent me around in circles, and I can't help but feel like this might end the same way. I know it's a very pessimistic way of looking at this, but previous experiences don't leave me very optimistic.

Colleges have to document every penny they spend so that they can get the funding they need. So each program in the college has to document everything it does to get its funding from the college. They do this through beaurocratic record keeping and that is why the councelor wants you to make the call, so you get properly recorded into the system so they can get their funding. It has nothing to do with you or what you are asking about.

Also to a councelor an "issue" is anything you want to talk about so don't out a lot of meaning to the person's use of the word issues.