Best Thing About Therapy For Me So Far...

[Guest Orva26]

Is that it puts the ball back in my court so to speak.

I find that I have a part of my mind/spirit that wants to fight recent realizations tooth and nail and when it flares I get rather distraught. Get 'supper happy fun' thoughts that if I do pursue transition I'll end up destitute and alone. Those are just silly, to 90% of the people I know what gender I present/identify as shouldn't make a difference at all. I'm not going to magically unlearn what I got out of college as I grow boobs and my life experiences thus far won't be moot if I transition.

As my preference I won't ever go into great detail as to what exactly goes down in therapy: I'm paying to have therapist/client privacy for a reason. But I will say that one thing specifically mentioned to me that helped out was something like, "After knowing all you've accomplished while developing your gender people should respect your accomplishments more." Now I'm not sure exactly about that since things didn't REALLY come to ahead until I had already graduated but I still didn't crumble as a result and actually both began independent exploration and dealt with job hunting at the same time. And even started a job at the same time.

Now I need to work on internalizing this stuff so I'm perturbed less and I can concentrate on being happy as I have been since talking with my therapist on the phone two days ago. Its like I can have it all, doesn't mean I'll get to but just the possibility is great! I'll actually be meeting my therapist in person tonight, can't exactly show her the answer to one of her questions that is a drawing over the phone.

Also, I have a tiny question about the forums. Why is the therapy forum a subforum of the TS forum? Therapy is a good idea for a whole lot of 'subgroups' so could the therapy forum be moved as its own thing or into a more general area? Now I understand that this takes work but I just wanted to put the idea out there.

-Orva

[Guest Elizabeth K]

... that if I do pursue transition I'll end up destitute and alone..

Like you said, hardly ever happens. ANYONE can end up destitute and alone - for a 1000 reasons.

and

... After knowing all you've accomplished while developing your gender people should respect your accomplishments more...

I had my therapist say that and I did not understand at the time. I am now over 2 years transitioning, pretty obviously succeeding. I DO get those comments now - not often, but sometimes, "How brave!' and such...

We face and overcome seemingly impossible obstacles!

and

Why 'therapy' is located where it is? Donno - I don't pay much attention, sometimes. New threads are always pushed to the top anyway. I am one of those who doesn't research too deeply I guess. I have a lot of posts and I suppose I have seen so much that I have a good handle on the information I need.

The layout comes from the original setup I think - back in 2004, or so. Admin will probably look at your comment.

finally

YES! Thank you for explaining what 'therapy' is for you. It is such an essential tool in dealing with GENDER DYSPHORIA. I always highly recommend it, and in fact do not see how people can possibly work through self-discovery without it. After self discovery it is needed to smooth transitioning, if that option is chosen. BUT, like you sort of suggest, it's for all your issues.

GOOD TOPIC!

Lizzy

[Sally]

Dear Orva,

While therapy is rather common for so many things transitioning and Gender Identity Disorder are foreign to most people, to the point that they do not understand and actually may stop listening to the answers that you offer to their questions.

So it is a reaction of either - "What are you thinking?" or "You are so brave."

When in actuality it is not brave to do what we absolutely have to do, it is just living and continuing to live - everyone on the planet who gets up and goes about their daily routine is incredibly brave.

As to ending up destitute and alone - there are no guarantees if you transition that you will end up like this or even if you might end up this way without transitioning - life is what you make of it and you have a better chance of making a successful and happy life if you are happy with yourself.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest JaniceW]

Orva,

Is is so good to see you evloving. You already know I fully agree with you on what therapy does for us. But seeing you internalizing so much lately it is fantastic to see your angst level going down. Hearing you talk about facing your fears and continuing to move forward in spite of them is exactly what bravery is, bravery is not the absence of fear but the fortitude to keep going in spite of the fear. Once you push past the fear it disapates and evporates into the ether.

Keep it up girl you are on your way.