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NA For Transexuals


Guest BrittaneyJ

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Guest BrittaneyJ

Hi, my names Brittaney and I have 9 months clean. I have a male sponsor at the moment, but obviously that won't work out in the long run. What shouldI do. He is totally not cool with me becoming female and cant start hrt or anything else without someone to support advise me in my recovery. I live in pasadena. Any suggestions

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Guest jantonio

Hi Brittaney:

Is this therapyst a gender specialized therapyst? If not, I would really advice you to get a gender therapyst because that's their specialty. They usually do not discriminate, they just work with you to try to validate your own gender identity.

We trans people face issues, and definately I wouldn't want to deal with a therapyst that was against who I am. If it was me in that circumstance I would get a gender therapyst for get that one. That's just my opinion.

Good Luck,

Jose Antonio...

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Guest jantonio

Hmm, ok sorry Brittaney I misread your post. I thought you were talking about a therapyst.

If it was me I would get myself another sponsor, seriously. Just my thought.

Jose Antonio...

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Guest raydub

Brittaney,

Definitely get yourself a new sponsor. Just like your Higher Power has to be loving and caring.. you should surround yourself with loving and caring people. And they are definitely there in L.A. Might I suggest you look into the meetings being held at the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center...i know, i know.. you may not be gay or lesbian..but you might run into some other transgender folks down there. Just a suggestion.

in love and service.

Raymond W.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Rachael92

Hiya I had to get a new sponser at the start of my transition as my old one just could not get his head around what I was doing-I choose an understanding female member of the fellowship...xx

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  • 5 weeks later...
Guest KimberlyLee

Well my advice is to find a Gay N.A meeting. I goto one as Kimberly. I also goto straight meetings as well. But you need to be comfortable with your gender before you do that. I do get laughs but I am not there to liked. I am there seeking help and there are people their that will care and try to understand you. I hope you find those meetings :)

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Guest KimberlyLee

Click Here For Gay A.A listings

Here is a list I googled of Gay A.A's the list is far from complete because the meetings I goto are not listed. But I hope it helps someone. I find this topic to be the one I need to deal with as much as my gender. I goto meetings every week even if i use because I know the end result of not going and reminding myself I will die if I keep using. Please PM if your afraid to post. :D xoxo Kimberly

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 5 months later...
Guest Lisa England

Hey Britney, hey everyone

I'm so glad I found this topic. I have had the same problem. not so much prejudice, my last sponsor was cool with me being TG. But I just can't get the identification.

I talked to an NA friend. she said that she had seen TG's at meetings in the UK but obviously she didn't want to break anybodies anonymity.

she said she would take me to a meeting out of town where I may meet some others whith whom I could find 'Identification'

Here in England I only know of one LGBT meeting in London.

At the moment I have not got a sponsor. 4 monthe clean after a relapse

Lisa xx

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  • 3 months later...
Guest Robynn

I guess this gets filed under better late than never! I just found this thread, and no real idea why it took me this long. There are a few things which need to be said, and I think most everyone who's read this thread will probably be in agreement with most of it.

Just as in AA, Terminal Uniqueness is fatal in NA. As a trans-person, it is too easy for us to get into that trap. After all, how many of us do you see in meetings? More often than not, we are few and far between. It is here, however, that Tradition Twelve comes to the forefront: ". . . placing principles before personalities." And I know this one well.

In the early '90's, I had a sponsor who was not only a straight man, but (to use his own phrase) "a recovering Irish Catholic" as well. Many times Jack W. would not only call me on my happy nonsense, but support me in any way he could. In the midst of divorce and one nervous breakdown after another, his friendship and wisdom never failed. As he put it: "Robyn, I may not understand what you are going through with this, but I will walk beside you every inch of the way." And he did. Sometimes I think he was one of the few reasons I survived the very difficult years between 1992 to 1995, when I was finally all the way out of the closet with virtually everyone. In 1996 I moved away from that area. I was truly saddened when I returned in 1999 to find out Jack had passed away the year before from a stroke . . . at age 74 (if I remember correctly).

I currently secretary an NA meeting in my home town. I have been clean and sober since November 22, 1986. Even so, I only have one day: today. I was born male, and consider myself an in-your-face Transgirl who is NOT ashamed of who and what she is. Talk to me.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Christine Beatty
Hi, my names Brittaney and I have 9 months clean. I have a male sponsor at the moment, but obviously that won't work out in the long run. What shouldI do. He is totally not cool with me becoming female and cant start hrt or anything else without someone to support advise me in my recovery. I live in pasadena. Any suggestions

Hi Brittany,

I hope you are just passing 18 months clean as you read this! I heard there used to be a TG sobriety meeting in Hollywood near Beachwood and Franklin, but it was gone by the time I moved to LA. I'm also of the opinion that it's better to integrate into mainstream meetings eventually, though LGBT meetings may be a good place to start. Also, as a rule, I've found many AA meetings near the showbiz areas (Hollywood, NoHo, Studio City, etc.) tend to be more accepting.

Also, if you have not yet found a sponsor you're happy with, I'll be glad to work the Steps with you. PM me.

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  • 1 year later...
  • 4 months later...
Guest kidnoel

I would have to say that my thoughts are along the lines of Robynn's post. People in AA/NA are just as human and fallible as the rest of us.

The gentleman who worked with Robynn sounds like an excellent example of a member who was truly working/demonstrating the principles of the program.

"The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it."

"Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness"

"Love and tolerance of others is our code."

"So cooperate; never criticize. To be helpful is our only aim."

"Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others..."

These are straight from the big book. I try to "practice these principles in all of my affairs" (as well as the rest of them) and it is important to me that I surround myself w others in the program who are demonstrating the same.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Many blessings.

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Guest kidnoel

I guess this gets filed under better late than never! I just found this thread, and no real idea why it took me this long. There are a few things which need to be said, and I think most everyone who's read this thread will probably be in agreement with most of it.

Just as in AA, Terminal Uniqueness is fatal in NA. As a trans-person, it is too easy for us to get into that trap. After all, how many of us do you see in meetings? More often than not, we are few and far between. It is here, however, that Tradition Twelve comes to the forefront: ". . . placing principles before personalities." And I know this one well.

In the early '90's, I had a sponsor who was not only a straight man, but (to use his own phrase) "a recovering Irish Catholic" as well. Many times Jack W. would not only call me on my happy nonsense, but support me in any way he could. In the midst of divorce and one nervous breakdown after another, his friendship and wisdom never failed. As he put it: "Robyn, I may not understand what you are going through with this, but I will walk beside you every inch of the way." And he did. Sometimes I think he was one of the few reasons I survived the very difficult years between 1992 to 1995, when I was finally all the way out of the closet with virtually everyone. In 1996 I moved away from that area. I was truly saddened when I returned in 1999 to find out Jack had passed away the year before from a stroke . . . at age 74 (if I remember correctly).

I currently secretary an NA meeting in my home town. I have been clean and sober since November 22, 1986. Even so, I only have one day: today. I was born male, and consider myself an in-your-face Transgirl who is NOT ashamed of who and what she is. Talk to me.

Bless Jack W and bless you, too.

Thank you for sharing :-)

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Tammy's_Liberation

I've done AA/NA before... the problem is everyone wanted me to have a male sponser...no woman would sponser me. that was one of the reasons it didn't work for me

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Guest Jennifer1736

Hi l live in victoria B.C. Canada, anyway, im a MtF 23 years old, just strating my transition. NA can be a hard one sometimes, ive got a alot of people saying '' no your not trans, your just sick, work on the ''real'' reason you feel bad'' jUst like any social situation i am in, i have just learned that i need ot surround myslef with people that are supportive or dont care, if somones gets all twisted about my changing my bodys sex, well....thats got nothing to do with me and it doesnt matter. It had been hard, watching most people actually slowly drift away, just like my old life and gender, its fading away. But I have new people, places and things, new aquantances, and freinds, and life is awesome now. 2 years clean now and im budding, lol, lifes never dull.

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Hi Jennifer. Thank you for posting those words of encouragement for the people wondering if they can get sober in a recovery program. I notice this is your first post. Perhaps you would be interested in stopping by the introductions section and saying hi to every one, maybe sharing a little about your self. I promise you will be warmly greeted :)

Best wishes

Michelle

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  • Admin

Hi Jennifer -- Welcome to the boards here. Congratualtions on the recovery so far, I see this is your first post, and you may want to put one on the acutal introductions forum too. Even with an addiction problem you hit close to the norm here, so dive on in other places too. NA or AA have got people who get pretty canalized on the abuse issue, and not what may be triggering it. Like anywhere else though, the issue of being Trans is too foreign to what Cis Folks go through, and they are so busy with their own programs, Even sponsors have to be working the program too or they will end up back in the soup themselves. They are not super people, and sure as shooting are NOT a Higher Power in and of themselves.

It is important to stay with your recovery program, and if you need a little boost and support on the Trans Issues, this is where to come. Some of the other people who post here regularly are sponsors in a 12 step program, but are just part of the mob here.

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