Beginning The Process Of Becoming A Church Member

[Guest Emily Ray]

I will begin the classes necessary to become a member of my parents church later this month. The process starts with the classes, a declaration of belief in the Statement of Faith, a letter to the membership committee. I don't know what their response will be but according to their constitution I meet all the requirements of mebership. But, I want to be more than just a member I want to be a leader in some form of ministry. Will that be alowed? Who will they expect me to choose as a mate?

If I choose a woman it will appear to be a lesbian relationship to those who don't know the whole truth some will see it that way and say I can't be with a woman and be a leader in ministry. Some will see me as biologically male and will be upset if I have a relationship with a Natal Male and say the same thing. What happens if I choose a relationship with a transwoman will the same group see that as a homosexual relationship. Will the only exceptable relationship be with a transman? That is a bit limiting in the community that I live in. Either way the church is going to have division and arguments over it.

The only reason that I am even trying is because my family (parents, aunt and uncle, and two cousins and their families) are respected members of the church, supportive of me and hold positions of leadership in the church. My Father is chairman of the facilities board and my uncle is on the missions board. Without their support and longstanding membership in the church going back to its earliest days I wouldn't have a chance.

Huggs

Emily

[Guest April63]

I hope you find peace and comfort in this church. I believe one of the main purposes of churches is to provide and look out for one another. I hope you can find that comfort and help.

I see your conflict. I don't really know the answer. I think it depends a lot on the people in the church. What are their views on marriage? Do you need to be married to hold a leadership position? Do you still need to be married for a board position or something similar? You might be able to get a hybrid role, where you don't have the full responsibilities of one of the leaders but the marriage requirement will be removed.

You have the support of your family, next you need the support of the members. I think the best thing to do is to reach out to them and meet them. You may never get an official leadership role, but if you're active enough, you may unofficially have some influence.

[Guest Emily Ray]

I emailed my mother my desire and the issues as I see them and she wants me to hold off on becoming a member. Apparently the church has had quite a bit of controversy this past year. Three senior pastors have come and gone. She understands my needs and just wants me to wait a few months. I told her that I came out to a woman at church last Sunday and found her to be supportive. She was happy to hear that I am still goin to take the classes this month I just will hold my application until the new pastor is seated, I guess! I dont want to bring controversy to the church, but it is the only way we are ever going to get them to change and they need to change. I am unwilling to allow the judgment and condemnation to continue for my sake and all of us transgender.

Huggs

Emily

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Emily

I know and understand your deep spirituality. It is good you are showing a strong interest in uniting with the church society wherein your family has such strong ties. Good for you.

I have several comments here, just opinions really.

Like your transitioning, it will certainly require a 'baby-steps' approach, transperson or not. It is a world wherein people have existed their whole lives and it will be very judgmental, the nature of organized religious society, as it's been going on this way ever sense the beginning of the organized church - look at Paul's letters.

Secondly, your honesty, your strong values and morals, and your need to help others - all that - will shine through - and you will almost certainly be asked to become a part of the church community. But each person with any say has to see all this in you - to learn the value of what you are... it takes groundwork and perseverance, and time.

Lastly, you are wanting to join a community, not just the church. You wish to become a part of a belief system and a supporter of the values of that faith. You want to make a difference.

Please remember people are NOT the church itself, but are only the caretakers. Sometimes they can be self-appointed guardians of their OWN interpretations, not always what the church believes. So - you must understand the CREATOR in his aspect of GOD wants and needs you. You are answering HIS call. Be emphatic in your mind about that. NEVER let any false prophets or naysayers turn you aside, and organized religion has many of those. GOD will steer you where HE wants you to go. It could be in this Church, but it can also be elsewhere, another Church, another community. Listen carefully to HIS Will, and don't defy where HE sends you.

And the "sexual orientation?" The marriage possibilities? That is a total spaghetti-like can of worms! Deal with it AFTER you accomplish your Spiritual Goals. And again, it will be where HE leads you, preparing the ground before you.

I feel good for you! It's the beginning of a very special journey, one you have always wanted... and you have done that before in a similar context... grin...

Lizzy

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Emily,

Part of the problem as I see it goes beyond just your local church. A lot will depend on if it is part of a larger church group and what that head church groups considers is acceptable or not. Something you would have to consider is would the national body kick your church out if they had had a leader who fit under the LGBT umbrella and how would the membership react.

I know there are several mainline Protestant church groups in the USA that are very open and accepting, and because of that, they have had some severe problems in their national or state meetings (I use the terms national and state loosely here, some call them synods or councils or whatever).

Over the course of my life, I was baptized Roman Catholic, took first communion in an Episcopal Church (Anglican), was confirmed in a Congregational Church (now UCC), and have a sort of tenuous membership in a United Methodist church, the last two fairly accepting (or using the anti-PC word, liberal) in their acceptance of people who come to Christ. Most other denominations from what I have read, are not quite so 'progressive' in their acceptance of many types of lifestyles.

I wish you the best in your pursuit of joining and making a difference in your choice of a place of worship.

Hugz,

Chloë

[Guest Emily Ray]

I have been in touch with the national hedaquarters and presidents office. They have said that I cannot be denied mebership but that they do not ordain leaders who would be like me. Since I am not seeking ordination it really comes down to the leadership of the local congregation. I don't however, want to stop at just acceptance at the local level. I want a committee appointed by the national board to prayerfully investigate their present position and possible changes and bring a recommendation to the national meeting for an up or down vote. Since this is how every theological question has been settled in the past it should happen for us. As it stands at the moment it is the decision of the national leadership with no vote by the individual chur4ch representatives. I don't think this is fair within the guidlines of the denominational orginization. And the American way!

Huggs

Emily

[Guest Emily Ray]

I also want the church on a national level to start ministries to our brothers and sisters and spread the Good News of the Gospel of Christ. I know these are lofty goals, but with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and Gods ability to change hearts I believe it will be possible. I have read the Distinctives which are the founding thoughts of the EFCA and it places them in the unique position of being able to help us if they choose to do so. I know other churches have started to change now it is time for this one.

Huggs

Emily

[Guest sarah f]

Emily I wish you luck in becoming a member or the church. I hope they see you as the loving and compasionate person you are and nothing else.

[Guest Chiv]

Emily,

I know you will succeed because your faith is strong and eventually others will see you as Christ does and as we do. For the few who may not, they won't stop you and God will protect you. Why do I feel so certain? I came to the Catholic Church as an adult. When I received the sacraments of initiation I did as John. I am working to educate my parish. It took me 5 years but most of my parish accepted me even though I am not a"typical" catholic (whatever that is) and this had nothing to do with being trans. It's only been a year since they have met John and I believe that in a few years the love of Christ will prevail with the trans issue. I didn't allow anyone to chase me away from my church and I have seen the power of the Holy Spirit.

I live in a small, rural town and I know there may be challenges ahead and I am not expecting miracles, especially on a reginal,national, global level.

I don't intend to give up my faith and I don't intend to stop transitioning. When we take a stand, it will force those to either live thunconditional love Christ preached or examine just whose "word" they believe.

John 112-13

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

Galatians 3:26-29

You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise

I do not intend the above scriptures or what I believe to be limited to those who are Christians. Substitute it with faith, higher power, the light in each one of us, the message is the same.

You are incredibly courageous.

John

[Guest Emily Ray]

Thank You John those are powerful pieces of Scripture and they have strengthened my spirit.

Huggs

Emily

[Guest Chiv]

You are welcome Emily.

[Drea]

Hopfully its the nature of the particular faith which is your biggest interest.

Sometimes trans folk have a tendency to enter into things such as this as a sort of validation, to be accepted in the group. I mention this because you express your desire not to be just a member but to be a leader even before becomming a member. Becomming a leader would really be big validation of acceptance.

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Emily:

May this all go your way. Prayin' for you. Peace & Hugs.

Lacey

[Guest Emily Ray]

Drea,

I know you want me to be aware of the reasons why I want to be there. It is more than acceptance. There are other churches I could go into and find acceptance. I want to be a leader in ministry in this church because I agree with there mission statement their refusual to argue over the minor issues of doctrinal understanding. The denomination as a whole is growing very fast here in the US and abroad. They are active in the community and seek to grow the body of Christ. I want to play apart in all of that. I was blessed with being tasked by God to challenge the understanding of mainline Christianity in the US regarding the treatment of Transgender individuals. It is my calling. I will go where he directs me and as my recent experience in California proves to me, he wants me here. I want to be in leadership because in that position I can have the most opportunitys to interact with other believers.

I believe that those who have spent a significant amount time living in their natal gender before transitioning have a wealth of experience that can be used to assist others with their relationships with the other sex. we can be bridges that can improve the understanding of our friends and those we interact with on a deeper level. I am also concerned that past damages of the Church as a whole has done to our community needs to end. It wont happen from being on the outside. they need to get to know us and that means brave souls like myself who have a Christian belief need to go into the church and play an active role in the church's mission. we need to show them that we are not some kind of perverted freak like the Jerry Springer show makes us appear to be. We cant do that in protests or infact any other way than becoming their friends and working along side them in spreading the Gospel of Christ and helping God by allowing him to work through us to heal his people.

Huggs

Emily

[Guest Chiv]

Emily,

I wholeheartedly agree with you.

Hugs,

John