3 Out Of 3

[Guest Flora]

sigh

relationships are hard enough as it is without the underlying issue that there are next to no girls (i'm in australia mind you) that are accepting of someone that occasionally dresses up. I wear knickers from time to time, the occasional skirt or top but never in public and wear pink pyjamas a couple of nights a week. Not just that, i have perfume and jewellery too plus a partially fem personality but despite being the nicest and most respectful guy she has ever met (yeah she actaully said that), she said she loves everything about me except she can't get past the crossdressing and thats basically where it ends.

how do you deal with the guarantee of repeat rejection. when do you tell the girl your secret. I've tried it at the beginnning, the middle and at the end. And just when i thought maybe all you need IS love, then the dominos begin to topple and its agony watching the stream get closer and closer to the end...

i'm go through periods where i hate what i do. I dont want it anymore but like a ball on elastic, the further you throw it away the harder it hits when it comes back. and there's no escape. Not sure if I really want to escape. I don't really want to change, but can i expect others to change and decide to accept me?

Flora

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Flora,

Yes, I understand because I cd, and have done it all my life, and during the time I would have loved to find others that were accepting, I didn't even know where to begin looking. For girlfriends, I'm guessing there are some out there that may be accepting, but it's not exactly something I'd tell them up front. Let them find out about the rest of you, and you them. Consider their reactions to how they view alternate lifestyles, like just point out someone and see what they say. If cross-dressing is something you really want to be a big part of your life, you really want any partner to be at least accepting of the lifestyle before you get too committed with them.

I've been married now for going on 33 years, and I told my spouse about 32 and a half years ago. By that time, she had seen the type of person I was in many different situations and liked me for it. So when I brought up the cd, she could see that it wasn't any of the unseemly things that are often connected to it (seeking outside partners, child molestation, etc. etc. etc.), and she could tell that I cared deeply about her and would not hurt her. So, she knows and I do it, and she even worked a little at incorporating it into our private moments.

It's like finding any type of love for long term relationships. You may have some misfires on the way, but keep trying and eventually you'll find that special someone. Unfortunately, there will be rejection along the way, and that does nothing for our own feelings of self worth. Just remember, you are decent. You are a cross dresser. You are who you are. Nothing wrong with any of it.

Hugz

Chloë

[Guest RadioheadRachael]

Don't get discouraged. I actually talked to a girl from Australia about crossdressing before and she was into it. Said she dressed up a friend the other day and it was a great time. So they do exist.

Yeah I think it's important to wait until they feel comfortable with you as a person. It's also good to present it as not a big deal and something fun and not present it as a huge burden or problem.

The testing out your partner with questions to see if they are open-minded or not is a great idea. I've done this with great success. I'd probably do it even if I didn't have a girl side because closed-minded people turn me off like none other. No time for them.

There will always be people trying to normalize everyone, ignore them. They are most miserable of everyone. There are plenty of people just looking for cool people to hang out with and form relationships with, regardless (or because of) of their quirks.

[Guest melansia]

Some girls just don't except it. Flat out. If she really likes you though, she'll realize it's not such a big deal and accept it. But don't try to change who you are for one girl. She can either have all of you or none at all. Lots of girls find no harm in it.. I'm one of them. My bf is a crossdresser, not me. I'm natal female and I fully accept him just the way he is. You'll find someone