Newfound Confidence

[Guest Renard]

I'm feeling pretty good right now. In the the past few days all of the following have happened:

• A friend came out as ftm.
  
• My mom accidentally put my jeans in my dad's closet.
  
• My mom told me I looked like a boy when trying on clothes.
  

No one knows how I feel yet and my mom meant the last thing as an insult but it still felt good. I chose my name because it's what I want my name to be in my french class next year. I thought it would be fine because the friend had a boy name. It may be a bit more difficult now but I still want to do it.

I love all things STEM and want to be an engineer. I am heavily involved in my school's robotics team and love feeling like one of the guys. My mentor on the robotics team came out as mtf at the beginning of this year and, though I doubt she knows about my questioning, it has brought us a lot closer. I have had a boyfriend for almost six months that I am totally in love with. I met him through robotics but he has very eclectic interests.

I'm not sure what I want. I know I'm not a "normal" girl but being male anatomically doesn't completely appeal to me either. I'm very self-conscious about my body. Right now I'm just happy I finally have the confidence to post on a forum like this.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Renard,

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

MaryEllen

[Guest Linus Thomas]

Welcome, Renaud. I'm sure you'll find lots of good support here.

[Sally]

Hello Renard,

Welcome to the forums, it is good to have a little self confidence isn't it?

Questioning is a good thing - it is the only way to find answers.

So why not explore the forums and ask questions, read posts and learn about yourself in the process.

Enjoy your stay here at Laura's we are a friendly group so relax - you are at home now.

Grab a mug and have some of the hot cocoa, we always have some and I always have some fresh baked cookies if you would like some of them.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Renard,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[JJ]

Hi Renard,

Welcome to Laura's! You've found a great place to be yourself and explore your feelings.

For me it took months of self examination before I realized what I truly wanted. When I first found the forums and read about packers and binders I fled the FtM area . Just not for me even though I identified very much as male.. Now I am full time and on T. Coming to terms takes awhile and there is a lot of confusion and conflict along the way. Some of us don't fit at either end of the spectrum. gender isn't always binary. A gender therapist is your best bet to figure this out. We stress gender therapists because at best regular therapists are almost always a waste of time and money and at worst can do great harm because the symptoms surrounding gender identity can be misdiagnosed by a therapist not familiar with the condition. a gender therapist won't tell you what you are or aren't. They'll just help you discover for yourself.

I remember the pure joy and relief I felt when I came here and discovered I could talk about something I had hidden so long and not only be accepted but understood. I still feel that way.

Robotics sound fascinating. I hope you can tell us more about it.

We aren't therapists, but we will be happy to share our opinions and experiences with you. Please feel free to post as much as you want in any forum whether asking questions, expressing opinions or sharing experiences. We are a PG-13 moderated site. You will have access to the PM system and profiles after 5 posts.

If you have not already done so, please read the "Terms and Conditions" page, the link to it can be found near the upper right of most any Forum page

I enjoyed your introduction and look forward to your posts!

John