Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

So What Is It Exactly? Pls Tell Me!


Guest Gabi-lotr

Recommended Posts

Guest Gabi-lotr

If i right, every bi-gender persons is switching between behaviours and attitude and mind condition (aka inner gender), depending on the situations.

I am right? Please correct me if im wrong...

I just found out that if in some situations better to be a man then i become a man in the things listed above, and vica versa.

Now what? It means that im bi-gender?

Girls or boys experience this attitude changing things or they just stay in only one that related to their inner gender?

Whats your bi-gender experiences if you bi-gender? PLS tell me!

Thanks!

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Well I was not sure about the 'bi-gender' so I looked it up.

Wikipedia:

Bigender or bi-gender (bi+gender) describes a tendency to move between feminine and masculine 'gender-typed behavior*' depending on context, expressing a distinctly "en femme" persona and a distinctly "en homme" persona, feminine and masculine respectively. It is recognized by the American Psychological Association (APA) as a subset of the transgender group. [not in citation given] A 1999 survey conducted by the San Francisco Department of Public Health observed that, among the transgendered community, less than 3% of those who were genetic males and less than 8% of those who were genetic females identified as bigender.

While an androgynous person retains the same 'gender-typed behavior*' across situations, the bigendered person consciously or unconsciously changes their 'gender-role behavior*' from primarily masculine to primarily feminine, or vice versa.

[*I dislike this term - what IS gender type behavior? Undefinable in most cases]

I can't answer other than to say I playacted male for 50 plus years. Although I am full time now, and my mindset has always been female, I know how to defend myself with male behavior. My therapist says I will probably always revert to male defenses in panic situations - which is okay as these work - EXCEPT I forget I have a woman's body strength now. I have to watch that I guess - but it is almost impossible to remember I am weaker , and I am probably gonna get hurt, someday.

Daily living - I just can't tell what is typically male and what is typically female anymore, they all are just me. I feel I have pretty much slipped into the female spectrum, but I was really probably always there.

Even now, switching back and forth (which rarely happens) is different on estrogen than it was on testosterone. I was happy to see that.

PLUS - Everyone is really both female and male, regardless of gender. It seems the 'learned' behavior and the 'social conditioning' tempers that.

I am not sure if the bi-gender thinking undefined but shown above, follows what I had to endure or not. I suspect it is something 'stand alone.' So transpeople are probably not really bigendered. But if androgne people aren't either, then bigendered is a totally independent category of gender dysphoria.

I hope this helps

Lizzy

Link to comment
Guest Miss_Construe

I had experience something like that, and still my personality shifts depending on the situation. For myself I came to understand that I was being too sensitive to changes in myself. Now I still change personalities depending on the situation, but they are often shades of the same color.

Hope this helps,

<3

Amy

Link to comment
Guest Gabi-lotr

I hoped and expected that my question will reveal things and sort out things but not. Instead the answers just mess me up more than before...

But anyway it help...Now i just need to figure out that im learned those thngs or when i am man then its me or just a learned thing....

ehh...lots of things to think about...

Link to comment
Guest ~Brenda~

Gabi hon,

I would relax on trying to define if you are bi-gender or not. Indeed, I am in that state where I represent as needed. Reflecting both genders at times is a reality of most of us.

Just because one must represent one gender, does not mean that they feel that gender inside. We all must balance who we know we are with the perception of others who think we are. This is not easy, and is very complicated.

It takes time and effort to bring you and the world into one place.

Transitioning is not trivial.

Love

Brenda

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

I hoped and expected that my question will reveal things and sort out things but not. Instead the answers just mess me up more than before...

But anyway it help...Now i just need to figure out that im learned those thngs or when i am man then its me or just a learned thing....

ehh...lots of things to think about...

Hon

We just don't know. We have our own experiences, but we are not anywhere close to being gender therapists.

I know it gets confusing - and do stay with us. Maybe someone has more experience that relates better to you.

Lizzy

Link to comment
Guest Micha

If i right, every bi-gender persons is switching between behaviours and attitude and mind condition (aka inner gender), depending on the situations.

Sounds close enough I guess.

Well I was not sure about the 'bi-gender' so I looked it up.

Wikipedia:

Bigender or bi-gender (bi+gender) describes a tendency to move between feminine and masculine 'gender-typed behaviorWhile an androgynous person retains the same 'gender-typed behavior*' across situations, the bigendered person consciously or unconsciously changes their 'gender-role behavior' from primarily masculine to primarily feminine, or vice versa.

[*I dislike this term - what IS gender type behavior? Undefinable in most cases]

It seems like the APA description is the same as yours, moving from male to female, or from female to male.

I agree with Lizzy though, about gender type behavior. Each individual may have there own ideas about how women and men are supposed to act and be treated, but there's really no established definition of gender roles (and there shouldn't be, ever).

Gabi hon,

I would relax on trying to define if you are bi-gender or not. Indeed, I am in that state where I represent as needed. Reflecting both genders at times is a reality of most of us.

Just because one must represent one gender, does not mean that they feel that gender inside. We all must balance who we know we are with the perception of others who think we are. This is not easy, and is very complicated.

It takes time and effort to bring you and the world into one place.

Transitioning is not trivial.

Love

Brenda

Brenda's right too. ^_^ Don't over think things, that makes everything more difficult than they really need to be.

Personally, I don't have any bigender experience. I'm the same more or less any time of day, or at least the changes are more related to mood and emotion, not gender expression. I do the things I do or act the way I do based on what's needed, not based on gender. Gender is a bad reason for me to do or not to do anything.

Link to comment
Guest Gabi-lotr

Ehh i always overtink....damit! *like a dwarven fighter*

Ok another thing...

Seems i dont have own personality... I always start sometimes imitating someone who simphatic for me. Its like i almost get into her/his skin and i imagine myself having their body and trying imitating their act and behaviour. I realized that i dont have own personality... Everything about me is just lots of parts of other ppls...

Now what?

Someone experience this? Its weird... Its like i always roleplaying other real ppls... O_O And i always integrate somethings into myself, into my attitude and moving-culture.

Link to comment
Guest Kendall

i have seen bigender used two ways. most bigender i know almost have a multiple personality. and talk to each other in distinct persons. sometimes called two spirits, sytems, or multi-gender. i have seen up to 6 distinct persons in on person. a few times i have seen it used for genderfluid or genderqueer/androgyne.

kendall

Link to comment
Guest TheBlackSheep

Ehh i always overtink....damit! *like a dwarven fighter*

Ok another thing...

Seems i dont have own personality... I always start sometimes imitating someone who simphatic for me. Its like i almost get into her/his skin and i imagine myself having their body and trying imitating their act and behaviour. I realized that i dont have own personality... Everything about me is just lots of parts of other ppls...

Now what?

Someone experience this? Its weird... Its like i always roleplaying other real ppls... O_O And i always integrate somethings into myself, into my attitude and moving-culture.

Yes I do this too. It's very strange. I often see people and think about what it is like to be them. This is usually people I don't know rather than the people I do know.

Like you said, it seems like I don't have my own personality. Very strange.

Link to comment
Guest Chrysee

Just when you think you see the light, here comes something else to think about.

In the definition that Lizzie provided, it stated: " While an androgynous person retains the same 'gender-typed behavior*' "

I have a college education and don't know what that means? I'm androgynous and exactly which 'gender typed behavior' is it that I'm retaining?

Due to financial blocks, I was not able to schedule with the gender therapist that i contacted back in Dec. More than ever, of late, I have felt the need for one. I have been trying to define the masc. & the fem. sides of me for some time now, while avoiding stereotypes. I don't wish to sink to the level of those idiot tests, i.e. "Would you rather fix your motorcycle or bake a cake?"

Anyway, it's early and perhaps I should have stayed off the boards until later in the day.

Sorry, too, that I took the question and made it all about me.

Link to comment
Guest Gabi-lotr

Its ok Chrysee.

After your post i just think that stereotypes = crap....

I know a girl (gg) who doing real sword fight and she a 'horse'man''...

We need to rid off stereotypes.I also met with a 'true' t-girl who doing very man things. (fixing mechanical thingilingies and computer programming)

So i came to the realization that gender not equals with what you do but what you feels inside.

Best for everyone that to tell this to every yours GTs.

And i think i feel neither or both.

Link to comment
Guest Micha
So i came to the realization that gender not equals with what you do but what you feels inside.

And i think i feel neither or both.

Exactly. ^_^

I was about to ask if we get rid of stereotypes and gender roles, how do we define gender? What does gender mean?

So I think you're right, and that's the best way to describe it. It's not what you do, how you look or act, but how you feel. :welldone:

Link to comment
Guest CariadsCarrot

i have seen bigender used two ways. most bigender i know almost have a multiple personality. and talk to each other in distinct persons. sometimes called two spirits, sytems, or multi-gender. i have seen up to 6 distinct persons in on person. a few times i have seen it used for genderfluid or genderqueer/androgyne.

kendall

Kendall, although different alters in multiple personality disorder can be different genders in the same body I would say it's a very different issue than bigender. The way I understand it, with bigender it is the same person having 2 different roles to their personality rather than 2 completely separate personalities. If the 2 (or more) roles were separate enough to be dissociative then I don't think it's bigender, it would be DID or DDNOS.

Having said that, it could look similar to the observer maybe and could be miss-diagnosed maybe.

If there are up to 6 personalities in a person then that sounds to me like a dissociative disorder rather than bigender.

Gabe

Link to comment
Guest darlene lynn

Hello Everyone

I"ve been thinking about this Gender thing for a few years now. The medical community has thier definitions for US. I tried for years to fit into one of them. Through out my life I never fit as a male or female. I am part male and part female,I know this if no-onelse does. Now I consider myself a blended-gender. I have attributes of both sexes.

Ive considered going through transition but I would still be me.

The main thing is to find you.Not who others say you are. No matter you are a unigue and special person. Dont forget it.

With Love and Respect

Darlene Lynnette

Link to comment
Guest Syamantaka

Ehh i always overtink....damit! *like a dwarven fighter*

Ok another thing...

Seems i dont have own personality... I always start sometimes imitating someone who simphatic for me. Its like i almost get into her/his skin and i imagine myself having their body and trying imitating their act and behaviour. I realized that i dont have own personality... Everything about me is just lots of parts of other ppls...

Now what?

Someone experience this? Its weird... Its like i always roleplaying other real ppls... O_O And i always integrate somethings into myself, into my attitude and moving-culture.

:) Seems to me you have strong Empathic skills budding, The ability to put yourself

in other peoples shoes can be a great gift. They say do not judge someone untill you have

walked a mile in their shoes, well sounds like you can at will, like myself.

"I AM WHAT I AM, AND THAT'S ALL THAT I AM" POPEYE :)

Link to comment
Guest Lioness

I agree with some of the other posts that have made their way here so far. One, I believe that everyone does this to an extent. Two, I believe bi-gender really only plays back into the (seemingly inescapable) prescribed gender roles that society places on us.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 57 Guests (See full list)

    • Lydia_R
    • FelixThePickleMan
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Mike P
    • VickySGV
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,103
    • Most Online
      8,356

    his-mom
    Newest Member
    his-mom
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Ale975
      Ale975
      (27 years old)
    2. BillieB
      BillieB
      (65 years old)
    3. BrokenDays
      BrokenDays
      (34 years old)
    4. Bryson
      Bryson
      (25 years old)
    5. Jolie
      Jolie
  • Posts

    • Lydia_R
      I'm a tracker and I've paid for 100% of my transition costs out of pocket.  Counseling was a huge, huge part of my transition and well worth my money.  Not to be uppity about all of this.  I'm just sharing information I have because I have it and it may be useful for others.  Here is my analysis of my spending on transition over the last 2.5 years:   Medical Doctors and Blood Draws: $2,397 Counseling: $3,800 Medications (brand name): $2,702.85 Medications (generic): $485.39 Total: $9,385.24   I picked up on the internet early in transition that transition is a consumer activity.  I tend to agree with that.   This year (Jan - May 18th, 2024), I've spent: Medical Doctors: $102 Medications: $241.52 Total: $343.52   So I'm on a much more sustainable path with it.  I'm pretty happy with where I am with it, although I do still desire surgery and am nervous about how that will all unfold.  But my doctors have me on this steady state thing.  I could seek out other medications, but what I'm doing is good enough.  Oh, I'm missing something....  I did a bunch of electrolysis that didn't appear to have any effect.  I've always enjoyed shaving and I use pink shaving cream now (I've got some lipstick blond in me).  It's good enough.  Not sure if I'll do electro or laser in the future.  The need to shave my body has become less and less.  Before HRT, I was shaving my body weekly or even every 5 days.  Now it is more like 2-3 weeks.  Everyone's body hair is different.  My beard is very coarse and stiff while my body hair has been somewhat minimal and light.  It's nice to have smooth legs and not have to shave as much.   Counseling was $200/session.  I tried one or two counselors before I found one who resonated with where I really was.  When I was prescribed HRT, I didn't fill the prescription until 4 months later.  I had to take some time to decide that I really wanted to take on that lifetime financial commitment.  And of course the possibly negative health consequences too, but I think I was actually thinking more about the finances of it all.  Maybe 51%.   I did a lot of work to revitalize my career before jumping into medical transition.  I started counseling 3 months before I got the best paying job of my life.  The pressure of wanting to transition was so great that I couldn't wait any longer.  She was coming out.  Even though I had very little money, I splurged on some nice dresses and a full length mirror and then started counseling.  Sometimes you just have to move forward and hope for the best.  Other times it is better to wait and do some hard work.  The grace of it all..
    • Ivy
      And when the pressure is released it sucks in heat.  I had a regulator leaking and it was covered with ice.  It's how a heat pump works as well.   Why do they always pick names like this?  It's like the exact opposite of what it really is. I hate politics so much.  But I still have to follow it.
    • Lydia_R
      Wonderful!  This reminds me of a discussion I had with my brother a decade ago.  I said that things expand when they get hotter.  He said, no, they expand when they get colder.  And I had to think about that for a while.  The weird thing is that H20 is special in that when it reaches freezing, it expands.   The pressure makes the cold and then we see the condensation.
    • KatieSC
      I used to have a really good therapist, however, she does not accept health insurance reimbursement fees as they are too low. I had to pay 130 per session. When she decided to jack the rates to 185 per hour, I cut bait. Without a doubt, counseling is very helpful. What concerns me greatly is that we are a vulnerable population. Unfortunately, we can easily be targeted for some pretty high fees. How many of us have been in the situation where our healthcare provider, surgeons, or counselors, have required cash payments? We get jammed as well by the health insurance companies as they often will not pay for items that could be essential to our well-being. It is my contention that our chances of being targeted for violence, death, or harassment, go up when we cannot easily blend in with the female population.    For those of us that are MTF, some of us are blessed with more feminine features, and many of us are not. We get the whammy of a larger skeleton, bigger hands, bigger feet, a beard, a deep voice, and masculine face. It takes a lot for some of us to be able to blend in. My belief is that the better we blend in, the better chance we have of not being targeted. In this, electrolysis, facial feminizing/gender affirming facial surgery, voice/speech therapy with voice feminization/gender affirming voice surgery, and body contouring are all potentially lifesaving. Unfortunately, many of the insurance companies deem the procedures as cosmetic, and yet there is no cosmetic that fixes all of these issues.    If you pay your money, you can get anything you want in this world. The sad reality is that for us, many of these procedures would enhance our lives tremendously, yet we face ongoing battles with our very existence. Yeah, an empathetic therapist helps, but is it just the concept of reasonable empathy at a reasonable cost? When my therapist jacked her rates to 185 per hour, I said enough is enough. Your mileage may vary.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I don't think the temperature matters as much.  Think about how gases like CO2 are stored in cylinders, and they are basically the same in summer or winter.  Any gas becomes liquid under enough pressure.  What does matter is the strength of the pressure vessel.  If exposed to excess external heat, pressure increases and can burst a tank or a pipe.  Household propane tanks are often painted white or silver and have safety release valves, because sunlight can heat a tank enough to cause a significant increase in internal pressure, even though the contents remain liquid. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been a long week, and I think this weekend is going to be pretty busy.  The high school is having their graduation later today.  Although we don't have any grads in our family this year, my husband is going because he's involved with the school.  And tonight there's the torchlight ceremony for the county cadets who are finishing their program, and the reading of assignments for the new seniors.  One of my stepkids will be a senior this year.  She's talented, and will be assigned a squad leader position.  My husband is really proud of her, and she's well-liked by her peers even though she's very quiet and serious.    I might get to go on a trip to Texas this week.  The storms that hit Houston caused a lot of electrical damage, so no doubt the utilities in that area will be ordering stuff from my husband's company.  When the big hurricane hit Florida in 2022, we made several trips there with badly-needed equipment, and the entire transportation department was involved in the first convoy.  When he travels, I usually want to go along, since 1-on-1 time is kind of rare for us. 
    • Mmindy
    • Lydia_R
      Maybe surface tension?   I was in a political debate yesterday and it got way too focused on social stuff and I just had to steer the conversation back to how natural gas transitions to a liquid under pressure.  One of the people I was debating had a career working in that field and it was a good opportunity to expose stuff like that.  He mentioned that it isn't just pressure, it is temperature too.  So then I mentioned how the lines are running underground and asked how that played a role in it.  He came back saying that natural gas is a liquid under pressure.  I guess I didn't get a straight answer on that, but it did move my thinking one step down the road.  Perhaps I should have been more direct with him and asked him at what temperature and pressure.  Is there a chart?   I feel people would be better off if they paid more attention to the objects in their environment instead of focusing on some of the things that we hear so much of in the news.  People are pretty clueless as to how much trigonometry plays a role in so many things in our society.  Even land surveyors don't really use it anymore because programmers locked it away in a function.  Much like how cascading style sheets (CSS) is a wrapper for math.  I wonder what former president Trump thinks about all of that?  He must have some knowledge of how his buildings are constructed, right?  There certainly is a part of me that thinks he is just putting on a show about all of this.  Perhaps I'm wrong though.  All kinds of people in the world.
    • Jani
      Me as well.  I can use my left hand for many tasks though.
    • Jani
      Hello Jennifer and welcome back.  I find New England to be a great place to live.  I have a number of acquaintances and friends in Maine and I love the state.  It seems you are doing well.     Hugs,  Jani
    • MirandaB
      Oh, my "maybe this person is an egg" story is the (male presenting) piercing person and I discussed body hair removal methods, he says he doesn't want any hair except on his head, which is what I said during a couple hair removal sessions before and just after the egg cracked.     
    • Karen Carey
      I, too, am lucky.  Here in the UK I have a great therapist, a fully supportive GP, and a psychiatrist and endo who look after me and my needs.  I found the therapist on Psychology Today.
    • Lydia_R
      Over the last few years of being on this site and going through medical transition, I've come to own the M->F identification.  Funny, I made a typo of M->T.  It is a curiosity if I'll ever put Gender: Female on this site.  It is my intention to be there someday.   Right now, because of career stuff and a high stress event with an electric hair clipper last fall, I'm feeling much more masculine than I would like.  I think that once I make some decent headway with my third career, I'll settle into a more feminine feeling.   I never really considered gender very much.  I certainly always used a feminine appearance as my presentation goal. I think that when I was young, I briefly had the idea of transitioning, but I convinced myself quickly that medical transition would be a bad outcome, so I put all those feelings and ideas in the closet for decades.  I'm still very apprehensive about medical transition.  I've always taken health to be a high priority for me.  I wrote a book last December about my fears of it all and my conclusion ultimately is that sometimes there is more to life than being a pillar of health.  It's important to take some chances if that is where your heart takes you.
    • Lydia_R
    • Lydia_R
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...