Trans-Hate

[Guest ~Tessa~]

Hiiii,

This is the first time posting here in this thread, but here it goes.

A few moments ago I was looking for an episode of Jerry Springer, which I remembered from childhood, about a transsexual individual. The reason I remembered was because at that point I said to myself "waaw later when I grow up I want to be as beautiful as her". But while I was looking through some episodes I noticed that both Jerry Springer and the audience were really acting inappropriately towards the transgender/transsexual individuals in the show.

Now I know that this show was broad casted in the 90's and that its really a sensation program, but really after hearing all these this happening to people I rather think that this might be actually the same in reality. I've also read somethings on this thread and I must say, shocking is not nearly what I felt. I knew there were a lot of people that dislike transsexual/transgender people, but I didn't now that it was this bad.

So my question is, how bad is it in reality? And also are people really that backwards and stupid that they don't want to accept a gendervariant person?

Just a small but very important aspect influencing my decision to transition or not. Not that I'm going to let it influence me, but still its better to be prepared and realistic.

Tessa

[JJ]

Tessa,

In my opinion the real haters are a very small but vocal minority, There are many, many ignorant people out there that say and do inappropriate things out of ignorance. They are usually pretty accepting when they are more informed and exposed to the truth.

I live in an area where I fear for my safety if I become identified with the word transsexual so I plan to explain to people as necessary but never use that word which carries so many inaccuracies and prejudices. I am not ashamed to be transsexual-I just fear that 1% who are haters and who may not stop to listen to explanations.

That won't stop me from transitioning. Or stop me from believing that most people are inherently good and will respond well, it just makes me cautious of the dangerous few who hate me based on ignorant misconceptions and because it gives them a badly needed sense of superiority.

The bad, the horrific events make the news. The tens of thousands of acts of kindness and support don't, So it is easy to get a skewed view. If you read enough here you come to see that we can live lives as our true selves largely free of rejection and harassment.

Hugs

Johnny

[Guest ~Tessa~]

@Johnny

Hmm yes lets hope so that most people are accepting, I still have my doubt tho.

For example we (some friends and I) often see a transgendered woman in the train station that I have to go to each day and one of my friends knows her from a bar. Apparently she was treated fairly badly there, as the people were mocking her. She probably didn't notice, as I heard that she was drunk. To today that one friend of me, kind of makes fun of her. Not really mocking her, but still he likes to laugh a bit with her. I always try to make him calm down a bit, but I cant expose myself... I don't really get why he still likes to laugh with her, she actually looks really good. No way of telling.

Anyways I hope that people are only like my friend, I'll be able to cope with that.

Also parents. They can be really rude and dislike the complete idea of it, although that their child made clear that they really are miserable otherwise.

Anyways, I've heard a lot of people telling about the people at their jobs being really disrespectful and such. Is it common or are those people unlucky to work together with annoying people. And how's the situation while you're just walking somewhere on the street? Uuugh so many questions...

[Guest Naatie]

Another product of sheer ignorance!

Most people that I have told about my "issue" were mostly baffled that people even have these thoughts.

I think it really depends on how you try to explain yourself. If you do experience people that are actually hating on you, let them be . If that's what they feel better about themselves...

I think it just weirds people out.

En leuk om nog een Belg tegen te komen hier, veel geluk met je vrouwzijn

(and it's nice to meet a fellow Belgian here, most of luck to you and your feminine side!)

[Guest ~Tessa~]

Another product of sheer ignorance!

Most people that I have told about my "issue" were mostly baffled that people even have these thoughts.

My thoughts as well, but I still think that people just laugh at other people to feel better about themselves. For example I think that people that love watching programs like Beauty and the Geek, which is to my opinion more focused on laughing at the beauties, do it to feel in a way better about themselves. Not trying to be offensive, but I just used that example because it was the first that came to my mind.

Anyway as both of you already said, how you explain you're situation influences a lot how people react. This might actually be quite a good topic, "how to explain people gender variance".

Off-topic

Its very nice to meet a fellow Belgian for once Although I kind of briefly got the "oh-oh I'm caught"-feeling.

Anyway good luck to you to

Btw I'm to lazy to type it again in Dutch

[Guest Ann Onymous]

The problem with the shows like Springer is that they were never about education. They were about shock value. The guest story lines almost always seemed to revolve around "Surprise...you slept with [fill in the blank]." And when that is the basis of the show, your audience is also being pumped up to include a demographic not noted for being real emphathetic to the plight of the individual. Of course, as years progressed, it was also found that some of the 'conflict' on stage was, in fact, staged...but it also meant that each show had to essentially one-up the previous show.

As to things in the real world...it all depends on where one is located. I don't really recall any issues even from back before I had my medical condition remedied. I may well have had the advantage of doing everything in the days before the interwebz made information searches way too easy, so outside of the shock and awe programs on television, there was not a lot of discussion about trans-related issues. Not being a walking stereotype likely helped in my case as well as I was perfectly content to just be average in appearance...

FWIW, I don't know that many people who ever did shows like Springer would do it again if the opportunity presented itself. I know one person who was on one of the 'disclosure' episodes and, while she is one who clearly enjoys the spotlight, she seemed somewhat distressed by THAT particular episode precisely because of how it got used against her later in life.

[Guest ~Tessa~]

@Ann Onymous

Yeah of course Jerry Springer is completely different from reality, but nevertheless I thought that these situations could happen in reality. Humans aren't that nice .

Guess I can just hope that people treat me nice and of course treat other people right as well. Not much you can do otherwise, right?

[Guest Elizabeth K]

So my question is, how bad is it in reality? And also are people really that backwards and stupid that they don't want to accept a gendervariant person?

Maybe this is stating the obvious.

Some are very bigoted - but my experience is here in the USA, and particularly where I live in the deep south. BUT, I have yet to be in any situation where I felt in danger, probably because I am now fully accepted as I present, and the general public looks right past me as just another woman in the store, on the street, whatever.

There is an awkward time - if you transition - where you appear very androgynous and you get some stares. Most never approach you, but it can be unsettling for us in this period of neither male nor female. Those who live totally androgynous have my deepest respect!

But it seems unlikely that you can ever educate people directly. I have had very little luck doing that, and even the ones who accept, they STILL do not understand us.

So, I just don't advertize. I won't deny if asked, but I rather just be seen as me. I know that begs the question, but it is the safest way to go, in my opinion.

And there are still some very stupid and dangerous people out there, ready to attack you for being of a different - ethnicity, nationality-wise, gender, religion or politically - than they are. Sexual orientation, gender diversity and just being different in any undefined way, can make you a target of hate. So be careful.

Lizzy

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Oh, I need to add. Jerry Springer was educated at Tulane, here in New Orleans. WE HERE IN N.O. HATE THAT FACT! He is totally self-serving and will do anything to self-promote! A disgrace to this fair city!

Lizzy

[Guest Mina89]

Oh, I need to add. Jerry Springer was educated at Tulane, here in New Orleans. WE HERE IN N.O. HATE THAT FACT!

We feel the same way about G. Gordon Liddy at my college. The burglary conspirator whose failure brought down a political mastermind. Then he got his own radio show!

It stings a little.

-Valerie

[Guest maxcess]

I never like the Jerry Springer show,didn't like the way people got put down on it,should have made a show where he could help people out.In my home town,no one goes out dressed,it's in the closet,people there even have a hard time accepting gays still some of them,they'll beat you and there are them few how would take you out country and kill you and bury you in a swamp with stones over you where you won't be found.I moved here away from there where am more safer,but still in this small city there are those who still don't like it and you got to be careful where you go and watch your back to and beware of what's happening around you at all times,I go out dressed,get a lot of insaults,but a lot of lady's mainly will talk to you and some men,but what I really like,is how many people told me I was really HOT & SEXY,sweet,love that though.If you move to a small town,get to know the people there first,more accepted in a city and stick to where you know it's safer for you.

[Guest LaciGirl]

My town has a similar conservative atmoshpere. The entire state actually. Wyoming has had pretty bad hate crimes over the years. It's really sad to see or hear anyone become a victim of a hate crime or any kind of violence.

The only thing any of us can do to make people understand is to just live our lives (safely) in the most public way possible and do it with as much confidence as we can muster. WAAAY easier said then done, I know! But our words & actions alone can show people that we are just as normal as them, even if it's just doing mundane errands in your prefered role.

Sorry, thats a bit sappy...but it helps me muster the courage I need to get out & about.