Presenting As An Androgynous Boy

[Guest Exeter]

I wasn't sure whether to post this in passing or fashion, but chose this thread since I'm not posting any photos. I hope I chose correctly.

I've been experiencing issues passing. So far, I've only had one occurance where someone nearly (emphasis on nearly ) said young man to me, but quickly changed their mind. I'm currently stuck obsessing over what it was that ruined it. It's not my mannerisms; can't be. I stand with my legs apart and only cross them at the knee. I don't do anything overly feminine and I wasn't even talking when this happened. So... I'm thinking it's either something fashion related or (hopefully not ) something body or face related.

Does anyone have any tips for what I can do to better present as an androgynous looking boy? I'm currently dressing in boys' skinny jeans, (dark colours; nothing feminine) band t-shirts, and a leather jacket. Is there something I can do to make this more 'male-specific'? Is there anything I could do fashion-wise to improve my odds? Basically the opposite of what a purse or make-up might do for an MtF.

My only idea is a single earring in one ear. How would this work in your opinions? It's the only thing I can think of that may be male-specific fashion and it also adheres to the kind of look I'm after.

Then there's my hair... Any tips on what works better for an FtM who's most likely 'blessed' with a very feminine face? What are the biggest things that distuingish 'male short cuts' from 'female short cuts'? Is the length on the back of the neck one of them?

[Guest Doodlen]

I don't think an earring would make much of a difference, they're not really a gender-specific thing anymore (unless of course it's like a big pink diamond heart fuzzy bunny or something, avoid that ). But if you want to gete your ear peirced go ahead. I have both mine pierced but I've been wearing only one earring since I was 13 or 14 (got them done when I was 12) except for formal occassions. If you like it, do it.

And as for haircuts, I'm not really sure what the difference is. I can tell the difference but I don't know what makes me "male" or "female" When you get your next haircut, ask the hairdresser for a mens cut, and specify that you don't want a female version but a male one. Or go to a men's hair salon, and explain there. They'll know. And it never hurts to bring in a picture of what you want too.

Good luck!

[Guest krysta]

Get rid of the skinny jeans and grab some baggy pants. No one but 40 year old men with mid life crisis wear only 1 earring, either wear none or wear two small very simple ones. If your having trouble passing, eliminate earrings all together.

Dont use ANY accessories, men pride themselves on being able to fit everything they need in their pockets. Try for more of a hip hop look with baggy pants, baggy t-shirt and thats about as male as you can get.

Most people should be able to pass for male in a get up like that, unless you have really long hair or something.

Pm me if you want I can listen to your voice and give you some pointers.

[Guest SummerDay]

When I was younger I wore a loose shirt, distressed jeans, and sneakers. I was drunk at some house party and dancing alone on the floor and some dude thought I was a girl. When my brain had processed this body pressed against me and hand resting gently on my belly I turned around and disappointed them.

I'm just guessing here but facial markers like the brow, nose, and chin play a strong role. A friend had a more Tom Cruise style girlish face and always got the wrong sort of attention from gay men.

There's a few hipster/unisex/androgenous dressers who live around me and the fashion isn't really a stand out marker. The biggest thing is focus, body language, and mannerisms. I noticed this week there was some woman with an attitude that came over like a man in a dress, and a guy I caught in my peripheral vision who I confused with a girl because their body language was more bendy.

One suggestion I've got is you watch some of the classic movies. Burt Reynolds, Edward G. Robinson. Yul Brynner. Westworld might be a good one. Brynner's clothing is fairly androgynous and his screen presence is mostly down to how he carries himself.

These movies were done at a time when men were men and women screamed. They were built around a stereotyped view and clothing could be unobtrusive and classy. They were the package. There's also a few other important points like not overdoing the masculinity thing with the pose or wardrobe. It's all about making everything fit together - to give direction and work together.

[Guest Exeter]

Thanks for your input, everyone.

I got my hair trimmed again, but may have it cut differently if things don't work out.

I actually got both ears pierced a long time ago; haven't used earrings since I was very little. I was just toying with the idea, as it is something I may experiment with. As for the middle-aged men with mid-life crisis, I dunno about that I usually have no idea what connotations things have. If younger guys don't do it anymore, I wouldn't be surprised. Haha. I'm behind times, anyway. To be honest, it's how I like things.

And I don't have any desire to change my fashion simply to pass. I mean, passing is important to me at this point, but I don't desire a hip hop look. It's kinda why I made this post; I know FtMs pass better in baggier things or conservative clothing, but I wanted to know if there are any tips for those looking to pass as more alternatively dressed (semi-punk rock or something) feminine boys.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Get rid of the skinny jeans and grab some baggy pants. No one but 40 year old men with mid life crisis wear only 1 earring, either wear none or wear two small very simple ones. If your having trouble passing, eliminate earrings all together.

Dont use ANY accessories, men pride themselves on being able to fit everything they need in their pockets. Try for more of a hip hop look with baggy pants, baggy t-shirt and thats about as male as you can get.

Most people should be able to pass for male in a get up like that, unless you have really long hair or something.

Pm me if you want I can listen to your voice and give you some pointers.

Good advice.

Also men NEVER worry about wrinkled clothes, and guys rarely wear any jewelry ... I mean guys can 'clean up' well, if necessary, but 'guy casual' is twenty notches below 'girl' casual. Guys would consider blue jeans with a TUX jacket, appropriate attire at a wedding, if they could get away with it.

Get a big men's wristwatch. And carry a knife in a holder clipped to your belt.

The haircut from a hairstylist will be too androgynous, go to a men's barber.

Wear big work shoes and scuff them up... get a big fat wallet and keep it in your back pocket. Keep your pockets full of loose change, keys and bunches of things you just don't really know why you are carrying them (folding bike tool, a bunch of deer teeth, a pile of unused game tokens, bullets, whatever... guy junk).

Generally? Just be more of "I DON"T GIVE S*** how I am dressed" guy. Go for the "jumped out of bed and got dressed in 3 minutes!" look. And this is against what you probably are like, but you nails need to be grubby - old motor oil under them would work well.

[i am sooooo glad to leave that behind)

Lizzy

[Guest SummerDay]

Generally? Just be more of "I DON"T GIVE S*** how I am dressed" guy. Go for the "jumped out of bed and got dressed in 3 minutes!" look. And this is against what you probably are like, but you nails need to be grubby - old motor oil under them would work well.

Hey, do you mind.

The way I was brought up by my mother was to be presentable but, yeah, I'll admit it has been problematic around a few apes since school and onwards. Boys tend to think you're snotty.

I was going to the shop this week and strolling behind this fat workman type in a paint splattered tee-shirt waving his arms around like an gorilla giving off vibes of beer and chip fat as he scuffed his way up the road. Oh, the horror.

And we're messed up? I don't get this...

[Guest Christy.dancer]

I vote "maybe". Remember, Harrison Ford also has one earring.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Well he did say andro, so skinny jeans would prevail over baggy jeans in this case.

Wallet on a chain, perhaps?

[Guest Titus James]

1) dont wear really baggie pants lose blue jeans and a lose top will look good.

2) beenies are nice to have with long hair easly pull it up into it to make a shorter look.

3) Earings are very popular with men and women know and days so it should matter if you get one or two.

4) dont over do baggies, becuse at times it makes the body look as if you are trying to take on a boyish look if you are female. just stick with simply lose clothing, thats conffy and not over the top lose.

Hair. I love cutting hair I would say if your face is girly just a simply choppy boy cut that looks nice not to short but a nice short.

Hope i helped a little oh and lose girl pants work very well ones that are simple. with little design on it

[Guest Kayde]

Im going through the same issue, however I usually have no trouble to pass. So I figured id help a tad.

I usually wear slim fit shirts, but a size larger, so it skims over my body, and yet gives me room to hide the bit of my chest that shows through binding.

I recommend looking at alternative male musicians and pictures androgynous men with a style you admire.

and then emulate it, and when you feel comfortable, add some touches that you find gender-neitral or masculine.

the only "jewelry" that wear is a rubber bracelet that supports a local organization (its for developmental disabilities)

Oh, and a rainbow studded belt, but its cause im pansexual (and I can pull it off because I have a very round, androgynous features)

But if you got the attitude like youre comfortable enough in your masculinity that you can be androgynous, that will help you pass incredibly.

I also suggest a manly black thick belt with or without heavy metal studs, because its just a good indicator that youre a male, though androgynous.

also, I suggest brushing your hair forward if its short,

and parted in the center if its long. I have long curly hair, but I usually wear it like a fro or I brush it out to waves, and part it in the center ( with the top as flat as possible. Because volume is kinda too feminine, at least for me.)

MY fashion icons are Kurt Cobain, Andy Warhol, Woody Allen, and James Dean (swoooon!) Lol!

James Dean is so tough yet had an air of softness for such a masculine man. Find your icon that you feel comfortable emulating... just my advice :-)

Some emo/screamo/heavy metal artists are pretty androgynous... if its too harsh, you could use a different type of color palatte, and different clothing pieces.

Good luck!

[Guest Drewbie]

I didn't read all the posts so I don't know if anyone already said this or not, but a couple differentiate short female cuts from short male cuts are the sideburns and the neck/back of the head. Guys usually get their sideburns squared off while most girls have theirs tapered. Men often have the back and sides shorter than the top. They also have their necks shaved.

Hope that helps.

[Guest Andreas011]

I DO think having one earring would help. I mean, no, it is not uncommon anymore to see men with both of their ears pierced. But do you ever see a a woman with only one ear pierced? I don't know, I wear an earring in only one of my ears, I personally think it helps as long as the earring isn't "feminine" (and sometimes even if it is, depending on what I'm wearing).

My hairstylist mentioned to me one time that, generally, the differnce between male short cuts and female short cuts is actually the length on the sides. Usually, female cuts "poof out" a little on the sides, while male ones are cut short, or the hair lays back against the head. (Did that make sense?)

As far as passing as an androgynous boy, I have the same problem, it's what I go for too. If you're lucky enough that your chest and hips are about the same width, just wear boys' shirts that skim over your body so it covers up your smaller waist. If you have wide hips -- well, I'll make sure to tell you if I ever figure that one out. I guess just try to remember that occasionally cis-guys have pear shapes too. :]