Back In A Dress

[Guest FloriDawn]

I am happy to find this forum. It seems like a pretty solid place.

I am Dawn, and I am 20 years old.

I started dressing early. My mother encouraged my feelings of wanting to play at being a girl. She was a hairdresser and cosmetologist, so it gave her a way to have fun with me. I grew up in a single parent home and when I did dress up it was done in the confines of home and was safe and harmless. My mother even would bring me home dresses and outfits from the thrift store she volunteered at. It was an outlet for my wanting to be a girl. God knows the rest of life was horrible, cos school was a nightmare where friends were not many and I wasnt good at school.

I did dress for a couple of friends when I was younger. I remember enjoying the effect it had on them. I had crushes on many other boys growing up but mostly lived as a silent shadow who came alive when alone. I did do naughty things with other boys. They seemed to know that I would do these things, more than I knew I would. I seemed to be the one who got in trouble tho. I had psychiatric things go on from an early age. None of it was very helpful really.

When I was a teenager my mother got ill very seriously and I had to go live in a relatives home while she stayed in a nursing home. I had a terrible time as a teenager and made mistakes. I got involved with an older man which one thing nice about it was he encouraged me to go all out dressing and behaving as a girl. I really don't have much of a sex drive. I dont dress for sexual pleasure but i do get a lot out of pleasing men with my appearance and doing physical things with them. My feelings are always romantic. the big problem was drinking and drugs with the people i ended up around.

I spent time in the hospital after a couple of suicide attempts. The psychiatrists were not supportive of my transgender issue. They encouraged me always to see myself as male and get a job, which I did. but i wasnt happy and have drifted back into dressing which makes me feel truer to myself. I also am a cheerful attractive person when in a female role, as a male I become invisible and miserable.

I want to meet more people who can offer encouragement.

thank you

Dawn

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I want to meet more people who can offer encouragement.

Dawn

THANK YOU for that introduction and the short story of what you feel you are.

You are definitely welcome here and I hope you post and let people get to know you. As you already know from reading the Terms & Conditions, we are here primarily to offer support and to help with information. You will also get a lot of advice, so asking questions can be very helpful. We also keep the site well moderated, so the discussions stay at a PG-13 level, and we do work to keep the bad people out. You will find a lot of encouragement here.

So welcome!

Lizzy

[Guest Elena]

Dawn Honey, Welcome to Laura's!

Let us know what's on your mind and of course we'll offer whatever support that we can. We can also be a shoulder to cry on, and we'll even listen when you want to scream and rant!

Most of all we'll love you for you!

Hugs, and lots of them,

Elena

[Guest FloriDawn]

Thanks for responding. Where I live there are other people who are TG but they are in a different place and more experienced. I'm mostly interested in "getting it right" this time. I think I relied too much on relationships with men to get confidence and direction before. I want to have fun but want to have a solid foundation living how i want to be- as a girl, which I think i pass better as, its everything else thats hard

good to know someone listening

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Dawn!

Honey, you are in a safe place here, we are friends. We treat each other like family and we watch out for each other. Sharing your story might have been difficult for you, but it helps us understand you. I appreciate the courage it took to post it.

Please do post questions or comments in any of the forums, as that is the best way to learn and meet the fine people who inhabit this place. The Chat Rooms are great fun, too.

If you wish to learn more about yourself, and whether you are trans (and it seems as though you are), then you will eventually need to see a gender therapist. But we can get into those issues later.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest FloriDawn]

Right now I'm getting unemployment but it is probably not going to be for long in Florida they just said they are taking it away after 24 weeks now. I had problems in my last job basically because as a male I am too quiet and have problems making eye contact and communicating with people. I have this idea that if i could be female full time i could function better but its hard with everything male on paper to get a job.

I have been taking it easy with men cause I get too wrapped up in what they want and it throws me off. thats what i had a problem with other forums cause it was a lot of men contacting me and i just want to talk with other TG people right now. Does anyone else have this problem? I love male attention but right now I'm trying to straighten out my little part in the world to play and being with men distracts me. Maybe if I was in relationships that were about what I want too it would be different, but I always do things for them mostly.

thanks again for replies!

[Guest kelise]

I so can't believe in this day and age there are still people who title themselves mental health "professionals", who don't understand trans people or the damage they inflict when telling us we should be our birth gender and shut up about it. Seriously, what other scenario would a psychiatrist tell a person to bottle up their feelings and don't let them out? I guess if they had feelings of harming someone or themselves, but how in the hell is transitioning harming yourself?

[Guest FloriDawn]

I would love to find a sympathetic therapist. I think in all fairness the mental health people i dealt with saw my age as a thing they couldn't get past. But I'm 20 now.

also I did make a lot of mistakes and hung with questionable people, tho it was easier to hang with them than normal everyday people who judge. you know?

I also started feeling funny about these married average type men who would contact me online, because they were just playing with me for excitement and this is my real life 24/7

[Guest FloriDawn]

I say I'm transgender cause I want to be a female and am in my head. I pass easily being small in height and thin and cant act anything but very femme. As a male I feel very obviously different. I feel like when I talk too much people can figure out I'm not comfortable in my own skin as a male, and I feel like a bug. Also, I get nervous thinking people know I dress female because of the way I move, talk and the things I say, even when I'm as a male. I hope this makes sense cause I havent typed this much in a while LOL

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Dawn,

<<< hug >>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[gennee]

Welcome to the forum, Dawn. I read your story with great interest and see that you are searching and seeking. This is a great site where you can feel safe and appreciated for who you are.

Gennee

[Guest marsha marie clarke]

Dawn;

I am new to this forum, and I know it has been some time since your post; however, I wanted you to know that I truely feel your pain, and your situation. I was there once. You have to know that for every step forward, you will feel so much better, and you will loose that male element behind you. Hang un there.

Marsha Marie

[Guest Jessicaann]

Well welcome! Im new too