You're The Same Person....

[Guest Rayne]

If you're thinking that tranistion is a magic bullet that's going to be the ONE thing that's going to make you happy, it probably wont.

First, get to know who you are before you tranisition. By that I mean, stop and think about the parts of you that are going to survive the surgery....who are you at your core?

In my case: I have a strong sense of humor. I developed it as a child and it's a part of me now. I have a strong blue collar work ethic. My day isn't complete until I've gotten my hands dirty. I'm a Steelers fan, have been since I was a toddler. I will be the rest of my life, including SRS. I think for myself. I've never given into peer pressure. Etc.

Most of who you are now is going to be with you after the operation, and they're the things that make you the person you are. Things you consider right and wrong, things you believe in, hobbies, etc.

I've met a few TS's that think that going through this is going to solve all their problems. Unless all your problems are from being in the wrong body, it wont.

Truth?

Going from one gender to another is going to cause more problems than it's going to solve. You risk losing every friend you've ever had and every family member you've ever known. There's a saying in this life, "If you want to be a woman, be prepared to be a widow". You could also lose your job, whatever relationship you're in plus laughed at by a misunderstanding world. And that's not counting the financial costs of clothes, surgery (SRS, FFS, breast implants) cosmetics, hair removal, hormones, etc.

Transitioning is going to solve one problem alone.....get you, your body, your spirit and mind all in sync. In the process of doing that it may cause lots of others.

You'll take more out of your transition than just what leaves you from the operating table. Fact is, the part of you that exists at your core will still be there. Get to know that person. Get to appreciate that person.

You're more than just your reproductive organs and appearance.

I've kinda bounced all over in this thread but the three points I wanted to make were: Get to know who you are before you tranition, transitioning wont solve all your problems and it's going to cause a lot more problems than it's going to solve.

But for me, it's worth it. I know the cost...both financial and personal...and I don't care. I'll pay it to be able to live as the woman I am instead of the man everyone sees.

[Guest MelanieAnne]

That was a very good post to make and also a very good point. It is also why seeing a therapist is so necessary so that you are fully with it before surgery. I know there is no way I could have been prepared to start a real life test or even SRS without going through sessions with my therapist. She's been a real help as I discover who I am, and in the core identifying that I am a woman. You are right in the fact that inside we stay the same, people are people, and personality doesn't always have a gender attached to it. Though I am eager for that surgery, to have that completion and step taken care of, it won't change who I am as a whole.

[Sakura]

i consider SRS the cherry on top of the cake every thing up to that point is just for play as i have heard it said many times before the real test dosnt start till after srs the rlt is a learning and rebuilding process you take what was good about you before trim it down add a few things mold and shape your self in to your own ideal person

if you come out the other side completely the same person you did somthing wrong.......or other wise you would come out a man in a dress ?

and your right transition causes more problems than it will ever solve it will test your metal in more ways than most can possibly imagen its a life altering mind bending thing but once your done your wiser better strong and an all around better person than you were because you should be complete both body and person

Sakura

P.S transition can also be a really cool ride if you let it

[Guest Snow Angel]

Changing sex won't get rid of your problems. It's just trading in one set of problems for a new set. In the case of MTF, you'll have the same problems as the rest of the XX half of this planet. Sexual Harassment, less authority, public scrutiny on your beauty, lower wage jobs in general, and generally being taken less seriously. I'm more emotionally attuned to dealing with these problems, than with the negative things a man has to deal with. The way I deal with and react to situations is more like a woman, therefore, I am a woman and I am going to change my physical sex to match my soul.

[Guest Rayne]

i consider SRS the cherry on top of the cake every thing up to that point is just for play as i have heard it said many times before the real test dosnt start till after srs the rlt is a learning and rebuilding process you take what was good about you before trim it down add a few things mold and shape your self in to your own ideal person

if you come out the other side completely the same person you did somthing wrong.......or other wise you would come out a man in a dress ?

and your right transition causes more problems than it will ever solve it will test your metal in more ways than most can possibly imagen its a life altering mind bending thing but once your done your wiser better strong and an all around better person than you were because you should be complete both body and person

Sakura

P.S transition can also be a really cool ride if you let it

There are many that don't ever go through with the SRS. They don't feel the need to.

You're right about it being the cherry on the cake.....this is a journey, not a destination. I'm enjoying the ride thus far and am looking forward to going full time in January. I love being who I really am, even though right now it's just for a few hours at at time.

The person you see in my avatar is really me....all me. No wigs or anything. When my hair gets longer in a few months I'll be MUCH more passable.

Rayne

[Guest RainBird]

Great post Rayne!

To do the right thing is never easy, no matter if it is transition realated, work related or any other goal we try to reach, it takes effort, commitment and strength to get there

xo

[Guest Rayne]

Great post Rayne!

To do the right thing is never easy, no matter if it is transition realated, work related or any other goal we try to reach, it takes effort, commitment and strength to get there

xo

Ty. My wife says one of the reasons she loves me is because I always do the right thing for the right reason.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora,

What you say is right Rayne..Take it from someone whose 'been there and done that'...

I guess I'm somewhat lucky/fortunate - my interactions with females are the same they've always been-comfortable in their company as they are in mine 'just one of the girls'... However with males... umm now that's a different story-more so because they now treat 'me' quite differently ...My opinions when discussing something with men seems to be less worthy than prior to transition..."Oh she's 'just' a woman" attitude...

When you affirm your gender you have to 'adapt' to the new environment [it's a sink or swim situation...and it's your choice]

Metta Jendar

[Sakura]

the biggest change i have noticed from the male sex is in regaurds to how i am treated is dependant on how i act around them i have always been some what assertive men have to respect you to treat you like an equal its hard for me to befriends with boys since most all guys seem to want to nail me b ut they also respect me cause i am funny and can cut up an joke and drink right along with them

the biggest change in how im treated seems to have come from my family used to be if somthing was to heavy to carry or i couldnt get somthing open like a jar my uncles would laugh at me and call me a girl now if somthing is to heavy they carry it for me or open it lol that change was the biggest shock to me because they are manly men and sorta homophobic does that mean they accept me as a girl ?

huh

Sakura

PS the person in my avatar is me as well about as real as i get lol no make up hair just pulled up in a pony tail