Gender Identity And Expression…

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora,

There’s a lot of talk about once on HRT there’s some kind of gradual ‘personality’ change…Some say they become ‘better’ human beings-more outgoing, friendly, caring, sensitive etc, etc-I’m talking about the trans-female here ‘M2F’…

Think about this for a minute…In theory your ‘sex affirming process’ [transition-match up] should for most of you be fairly easy…Because all our ‘gender’ likes, dislikes, habits and behaviours should 'basically' remain the same[some deeply closet ones might need a little coaxing]…

When one transitions….is ones ‘gender identity and expression’ something one creates through their desires and nurture …or is it a ‘natural’ part of who we are ?

I ask this because some trans-people seem to have a hard time after transitioning expressing their true gender identity…

Remember…

“ ‘Sex’ is between ones legs known as the private parts…’Gender’ is between ones ‘ears’ controlled by mind and hearts!”

Metta Jendar

[Guest Isobelle Fox]

Gender is complex. Its neither exclusively nature or nurture. There are natural gender related tendencies which can manifest at very young ages, as a result of brain structure, and there's no doubt that changing the essential hormonal balance of the body can and does influence behavior. These are things that the therapist I am seeing stresses. He likes to say that the last time the average MtF person was "really" themselves was around the age of 4- before learning that masculine behaviors were more "acceptable" than the natural feminine inclinations that we feel.

But thats another part of the equation- the artificial and fluid social constructs of masculine and feminine, things which he also stresses are not to be confused with male and female. He made the interesting point recently that many of the things that people think of as fashionably feminine- long hair and/ or wigs, high heeled shoes, and even skirts and other now "feminine" forms of attire have been, at other times, equally or even predominantly sported by men. Basically, not everthing that we now think of as "feminine" started out that way. Its the fickle nature of society and social expression. It precludes absolutes with regards to gender.

I think its "natural" for the male to female transsexual to be drawn to things which are "feminine." These things harken to a period in our lives when we were buried or diluted by "masculine" social characteristics which we often adopt as survival or coping mechanisms. Some of us definitely find comfort in resorting to feminine things. They help us to feel more natural and comfortable with ourselves. Most of us are gender obsessed and many of us, I think, do not necissarily differentiate between female and feminine. The difficulty some people have in expressing their "identity" arises from this conflict. If we do not understand what it means to be "female" because we are seeking it in things that are more or less arbitrarily "feminine" I think we are unlikely to find it.

As for whether gender identity is "created" or not through the transition process, I'd say that the answer is a partial yes. There is a crossroad between discovering who you really are, underneath the things you have learned conciously and subconciously while trying to survive in society, and being able to _truly_ express it- not just superficially. We have to learn not only the difference between the natural female and the unnatural feminine and where the two meet, but also have to be able to express it through the unnatural masculine disguises we build for ourselves. Part of it is just being who we are. Part of it is fitting that hidden person into its proper context in the world around us.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora and “Tena Koutou”…

It’s true ‘gender’ is complex, for example, a lesbian will normally ‘identify ’ with the ‘female’ gender, but might ‘express’ male behaviour and dress sense or visa versa for the gay male…

However I personally feel ones gender ‘identity’ is more ‘straight’ forward…

It’s ones ‘psychogender’ [how we see ourselves internally]-something hardwired in our brains-hence creating the feeling of being ‘born into the wrong body’ and the craving to be able to do what other females/males do…

Denial - brought on by societal pressure-can wedge ones psychogender into the back of the closet so tightly that when it finally is freed it's somewhat distorted...

It’s also true, from a young age transsexual people become somewhat ‘obsessed’ with their/our gender ‘identity’…Some have no control whatsoever over how they express it physically- [behaviour wise]… …Even though for the most part, Western society imposes ‘strict’ male & female etiquette, it seems to have no major impact nor influence on some transgender children-[The M2F child, like young genetic girls, they ‘instinctively’ adopt the behaviour of older females] …Identity wise, their ‘nature’ seems to over ride societal ‘nurtured’ pressure to conform …And those with caring and understanding parents tend to thrive when being true to themselves…

However for those who have or had succumb to pressure [the late transitioner] many tend to become ‘obsessed’ not just with ‘identity’ but with the whole concept of ‘gender’ and sadly this obsession can lead some to over exaggerate what it is like to be ‘female’…For example some tend to over compensate with make-up, unnatural body gestures , flamboyant dress sense-eg, wearing high heels and mini skirt to mow the lawn[ok so I'm over exaggerating a little] …but it's a fact many do try to compensate for past lost/suppressed gender expression…

I also believe that as time goes by many trans-people will begin to feel more comfortable and content just being themselves…And certain items of clothing will no longer have that ‘stimulating’ feminine effect that it might once have had….

The concept of gender is complex... but gender 'identity' is ‘nature’-hardwired…Gender ‘expression’ is more fluid - a combination of nature and nurture- some young trans people have held fast in their resistance to 'societal' nurturing and managed to nurture/groom themselves...

I could be wrong but…that’s my theory anyway…

Metta Jendar

[Guest lisa49]

Most gender identity is cultural. Once you are past the age of finding a life time partner and are financially independent there is little need to play a gender role. I have played roles to achieve goals within certain paradigms. Inside myself and with friends I have always just been me. No gender attached. I am still like that except my body image is now a comfort.