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Guest AlyssaMichelle

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Guest AlyssaMichelle

Hello Ladies (MTF) and Gentlemen (FTM) and everyone else somewhere in the middle!!

Although it isn't my real name, I am gonna go by Alyssa Michelle. I have been a CD since I was about 13 or 14 (now 33). Like many others, I have done many iterations of the buy and purge. I am now in the USAF so there is now hope of going full-time until I get out but I still dress every chance that I get when I am at home by myself. Unfortunately, my wife isn't very supportive, and I am usually forced to dress only when she isn't home. If given the chance I would love to dress more and maybe someday down the road go out dressed as well.

For as long as I can remember, I have had the feeling like I wasn't in the right body. I was born a boy, but I think that I would be more suited to being a girl. I have always dreamed about what it would be like to have all of the girl parts instead of the boy parts. I'm not attracted to men at all, but have on occasion found myself looking, mainly out of curiosity about what a woman sees and feels. If I didn't have to worry about family and career, I would probably go through the transformation up to being a pre-op. Not sure if I would go through with SRS, but I have been thinking about it more and more.

Anyways, that was my short little introduction. I look forward to being a part of the forum and getting to know all of my new friends.

Alyssa Michelle ~ :P

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Guest Sara N

Wecome to the forums Alyssa.

Its great that you're giving up so much for your family, but don't forget about your own needs.

I can't really help much since i'm still in the closet. Hope things work out for you.

~Sara

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  • Root Admin

Hello AlyssaMichelle,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Thank you for sharing with us. Good luck in your quest to be the girl you want to be.

MaryEllen :)

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Guest AlyssaMichelle

Thank you so much for the warm welcome. I so look forward to everything that I can get from this site and the support of my fellow T-Girls and T-Guys.

Sara, thank you for the encouragement. I could never forget about my own needs and that is why I haven't given it up completely just for my family. I still need to do what is right for me in the long run. Even though you may still be in the closet, I wish you the best of luck in you pursuit. Hopefully, someday you too can come out to your family at the very least.

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Guest Sara N
Thank you so much for the warm welcome. I so look forward to everything that I can get from this site and the support of my fellow T-Girls and T-Guys.

Sara, thank you for the encouragement. I could never forget about my own needs and that is why I haven't given it up completely just for my family. I still need to do what is right for me in the long run. Even though you may still be in the closet, I wish you the best of luck in you pursuit. Hopefully, someday you too can come out to your family at the very least.

Thanks. I'm taking things in small steps currently. If all goes well, I may be somewhat out within a year.

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Guest femmym

hi alyssa, welcome to the lauras you say that you have been CD since you were 13/14 years old it must be really hard for you keeping your feelings inside of you while you are still in the USAF how long are you there for, you will be able to go fulltime once you get out . least you get to dress now and again at times when you are at home . sorry to hear that your wife isint supportive im afraid i hear this alot unfortunetly . so you are limited to when you can crossdress while your wifes no at home but really you would like to dress more . if you want to go out dressed you need to be confident enough to do so it takes alot of courage and confidence to do this and if you feel you are confident why not try it one of the days .

how you have described how you have felt as long as you can remember i would consider you as being on the boarder of being CD/TS alot people are scared to take these steps due to risk of losing family & friends or career even. if things were deferent who and you hadnt got any comitments who knows you might go down that road to PRE OP/ OR POST OP

but you have to be 100% sure if you wanted to go POST OP nothing less if you need any help & advice please feel free MSG me take care and enjoy making friends on here .

femmym

Alyssa Michelle ~ :P

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Guest rachael1

Hi Alyssa,

I hope everything works out for you. I also have feelings similar to what you describe but have suppressed them for so long that now they are bursting out of the seams!

Rachael

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Guest AlyssaMichelle

With all of these warm welcomes, I almost feel like crying. Thank you so much for welcoming me into the family with such open arms.

Femmym, if I decide to stay in the USAF until retirement, that would mean that I have about another 14 years. Right now I am working on my BA in History and then will start working on a MA in Secondary Education so that I can teach high school social studies. Depending on how quick I can get my degrees will determine if I stay in the full 20 or not. That reminds me.......Laura, if you need any high school social studies teachers once NoJudgements, TX is up an running, give me a jingle. I should be certified by then.....I hope.

If I could ever get myself to the point where I thought that I could pass reasonably well, I would love to drive down to San Francisco, CA for a day/night on the town. I love the fact that it is a city law that ALL businesses must be TG friendly. Like you said Femmym, if I didn't have any commitments or attachments, I would love to transition to at least the pre-op stage; after that, I would have to see if I wanted to take it all the way. My DW and I are pretty much done having kids (we have 2 boys - 4 yrs & 2 yrs) so the sterility caused by the HRT would not be a problem at all.

Hugs & Kisses,

Alyssa Michelle

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