Hello and a bit confused about myself.

[Guest Liuni]

Dear "Lauras-playground"

Good Evening I come here to post after lurking this sight on and off...on and off and then again. I've felt 'different' from other men and have always felt more comfortable around women and women themselves have always said I was more like them since I was 15(now 20). I just thought this was more to the fact of having a military family life (USA Navy) and having my fundamental years (5-10) in the Middle East where you needed to read emotions everyday due to risk; not to mention having a voluntary shut in status because of the streets not being too safe.

With this back-ground I thought I was just "raised differently" but as I grew older I started to feel more and more feminine until about 18 years old when reflecting back I seemed to suppress my feelings on the matter into college prep then classes themselves. I know some say cross-dressing at an early age could be a symptom...which I did when I was younger about 11-14 in minor looking shirts and pants. However I always got made fun of because of the colors and my dad's military back ground so I kept to a Jean and tee shirt even to this day...using my slight 'color blindness' as an excuse for the behavior.

I come here quite confused...I've always become more and more curious about my gender identity over the years but tried to repress it through school work or video games...however after awhile it over flows with the stress of my school work/family life that I've also considered suicide ( seriously once in high school and) during a mental break down this summer. Finally the small talks with a friend I've started to explore this route a bit more than years before.

Should I see a councelor on campus, am I transgender, am I just confused about myself, is this that "college experimentation" that some men and girls are portrayed as having in those corny movies or "mad TV". I don't know, this is both as a question for all here and a way for me to write my feelings publicly...and privately at the same time.

[Guest Sally G.]

Hi Liuni,

First of all welcome to Laura's.

When you have the time please go to the introductions forum and introduce yourself.

You will find lots of wonderful people here at Laura's covering the broad spectrum of the transgendered.

It is okay to feel confused about your gender. In western societies there is very little opportunity for the transgendered to see themselves reflected in the culture.

Your idea of seeing a gender therapist, to help you work out your identity then come to terms with it and decide on a course of action, is a good one.

It does get better.

Aroha

Sally G.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

am I transgender, am I just confused about myself

Dear,

First of all welcome to Laura's

It is quite alright to feel confused. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way. Being transgendered is something that you are going to need to get a handle on (the sooner the better). I would recommend that you do seek therapy to help you sort out your feeling and your gender identity. I am sorry to hear that you felt suicidal a few years back. I think that is all the more reason to seek therapy.

Your happiness and sense of completeness is very important. Hang around and learn. I do hope that you can say that you are no longer confused one day and that you now know who you are

All my love

Brenda