HRT and orientation changes.

[Guest apostate79]

I have always been sexually and romantically attracted to women, but since recently coming to terms with my own longings to be female, I have also been coming to terms with my own long-repressed bisexuality. I have read that HRT can shift or change a person's sexual orientation, and I have heard about some mtfs being "switchers" (were exclusively heterosexual pre-transition, and their orientation has now basically flipped exclusively towards men), but I have an irrational fear of this happening to me. I have done some personal self-reflection and tried to examine why this possibility frightens me so much. I first discovered my possible sexual feelings towards males during puberty, and these feelings disturbed me to such a degree that I dealt with them by repression. I have also attempted to examine my own attitudes toward heterosexual women, and I guess one possible reason for this fear is an unconscious perception I have had of hetero women as weak and powerless. I don't want to end up weak or powerless. Another definite reason is a fear of the unknown. If I eventually decide to transition and my orientation remains the same as before or if I end up bisexual, it would be an immense relief for me. I simply don't need any more surprises in my life. I hope nobody is offended by this, I just had to articulate one of the fears and uncertainties I am currently dealing with.

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

I'll tell you what my (highly paid) therapist told me about this.....

Many Trans girls stay attracted to women (both natal and Trans) and their sexuality never changes...

Some, after a time, start to realize that men are looking pretty good....

And having been heterosexual their whole life ......it scares them....

But, many were always attracted to males but growing up, the stigma of "Homosexual " was too much to bear....

After transition, there is no stigma!

TA DA!

That's the explanation from my shrink!

Dee Jay

[Guest Miss_Construe]

Dee Jay knows the score

Hugs,

April

[Guest EvenClose]

I personally knew I didn't like men for many years now. Just was never attracted to them. They are fine as friends but that is as far as I could ever go. I have always liked women. Most straight women don't appeal to me though. Im not really into extremely femme gals. I myself am pretty femme not overly so though.

I think once you think about it in terms of who you like versus who am I comfortable with liking it may make more sense. Its perfectly ok to like feminine guys or very butch gals or the exact opposite of that. Its just a preference. Nothing more nor less. Noone will make a big deal out of it. If they do? Who cares. They may be totally miserable in their life and your very happy. Its not a big deal. Don't let it beat ya down.

Some peoples orientation changes on hrt. Probably because they are much more comfortable in their own skin and comfortable being able to be liked by certain people.

My s/o is a pretty girly girl. She is conservative. She likes earth tones and long straight hair. Nothing out of the ordinary. I for one am the opposite. When I first met her, well before I transitioned, I was wearing orange and blue rave pants with a bright green t-shirt and a yellow and blue sweater on over it. Def. not average. She thought it was cool. So no matter who you are you can be and like whoever you want. Just gotta not let others get in your way of being happy.

Miranda

[Carolyn Marie]

I second what Donna Jean said. I personally don't think that HRT is responsible in any chemical sense. I don't believe that sexual orientation is that malleable, otherwise gays and lesbians could take hormones to change their thinking, and of course that doesn't work.

Like Dee Jay mentioned, the entire process of transition, not just the hormones, opens doors to ways of thinking that we may have blocked because of shame or societal pressures. Once we can accept our true natures, it becomes easier to embrace all aspects of womanhood or manhood, whichever direction one is heading.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Groove_Ghost]

I am extremely frightened by this I am bisexual, always have been, and have been with my GF for 4 years now and have been wondering what if I change, I would rather not change and be completely miserable than ever lose her it sounds silly but I just don't want to ever not be with her. Surely if I am BI anyway it can't change right?

[Guest Aly Kat]

I've always been attracted to men, but pre-transition I had only dated women -- dunno if that classifies me as a "switcher" or not. Definitely agree with the whole "stigma" thing. I hated being called homosexual.

That being said, HRT, or just transitioning in general, has made me a significantly different person (in a good way). I do know that what I'm looking for in partners is different... much less physical now than it was before. I *think* this had something to do with hrt because I've heard of a similar experience from other girls. I don't really care what gender/sex/whatever my partner is, as long as they give me everything i want in a relationship... which is usually masculinity to my femininity

EITHER WAY - can't be afraid of how you might change, because the perception you have of yourself will also change =P stuff with your future self that may seem weird or foreign now won't when it's a reality, right?

[~Nova~]

My highly paid therapist told me...

Are you ready for this costly advice?

Get this...

Girls like boys!

Really? Girls like boys? That's what I'm paying you the big bucks for?

Know what? He's right. Hormones don't change you, they let you be you, period.

Autumn

[Guest chngnwnd]

I am so glad you all had this discussion. I found it very helpful. There is a special woman I have been spending time with and I have been concerned my recent growing attraction to women was a hormonal fluctuation since I have dated primarily men over the last 18 months. Sounds like I am probably just letting me be me some more...which is good...she is an amazing woman....

hugs

Bobbi

[Guest Tara Ann]

I've only ever been romantically and sexually attracted to women but when I imagine life as a woman I always see myself with a man. I really hope HRT can make me find men attractive.

[Guest KimberlyF]

Been on HRT for about year now and haven't changed a bit on my attraction towards men.

I came at this from a 180. I accepted myself as TS first and thought if I was like a 'normal' woman I should be attracted to guys. So it took me until my mid twenties to get I was a woman attracted to women. I wasn't covered on any of the transsexual episodes of talkshows when I was growing up nor on the lesbian ones.

I think maybe the reason I have had zero fluctuation is this is one area I'd worked out pretty well Pre-transition. There was no shame in liking men. I thought I should and kept trying to but couldn't.

[Guest Leah1026]

I have always been sexually and romantically attracted to women, but since recently coming to terms with my own longings to be female, I have also been coming to terms with my own long-repressed bisexuality. I have read that HRT can shift or change a person's sexual orientation

The fact that you're "coming to terms" demonstrates that the mechanism of change is not HRT, but denial. Under pressure to conform to societal standards you repressed not only your true gender, but also your orientation.

HRT doesn't cause people to change orientation, people coming to a fuller acceptance of themselves does.

If HRT did that we'd expect it to happen to a whole lot more people, but it doesn't. We'd expect it to work on gay people, but it doesn't.

Only a small fraction of transsexual people experience this shift. And when it does happen:

1. It often happens before HRT, like your experience.

2. After HRT (coincidental)

3. After SRS

4. Sometimes even years after SRS

Will your orientation continue to evolve? Impossible to predict as everyone is different. However, I can assure of of one thing:

If it does happen it will feel completely natural to you, so there is nothing to fear. In fact you will even enjoy it.

How do I know this? It happened to me.