Are lack of breasts holding me back from passing?

[Guest Torixo]

Helllo :]!

So I'm hoping as many people who read this can offer their advice. I've seen my gender therapist for about 2 months & am hoping to start hormones soon! What bothers me is that at work *retail, on the register often) I get people saying " he, or sir ". My therapist says I should wear a bra and more jewelry so people don't have room to question me.

Although I DO agree people wouldn't question that does not mean I would pass with ease. My voice sounds like a gay male. with my long red curly locks people ask me if i get that I look like shawn white a lot *the olympic snow border* -.- that is the most ANNOYING thing ever to hear. but I know anyone else with red long curly hair people would mistake me for.

But yesterday something cool happened... While @ the MAC cosmetics counter in a department store the makeup artist said I look so similar to Taylor swift. I almost died out of joy haha.

So does not having breasts when I'm presenting as female affect my passability. (btw I'm 18 yrs old)

I look forward to your advice :]

[Drea]

Passability revolves around cues so generally, so generally a missing cue won't help matters. Often there are conflicting cues in someone who is trans because some things can't be entirely hidden such as fat disposition on the body, how tall one is, how one acts.

[JJ]

While natal women come in all sizes and shapes, heights and looks-some look ruggedly masculine-we in general need to to sure we give the clues and ques that tell people who we are. I have become much more aware of what clues I search for when someone looks androgynous and the chest is right up at the top of where the eye goes for clues. Doesn't have to be big or obvious-in fact that can sometimes be a clue something is off when someone who obviously does not have a lot of fat has big breasts.

I'd say anything that you like or are comfortable wearing which is also feminine will help. Gay males wear jewelry sure, but it isn't usually that feminine to me. And they never have breasts-so if you want to cross that line I'd say get some breast forms. And you might find you like the feeling of seeing them there just for yourself.

Whatever you do-enjoy it.

Hugs

Johnny

[Guest Elena]

Well honey, it may, but that depends on your build. It is usually more a matter of attitude, posture, body language, and voice, so long as you are dressed apropriately (including makeup). Being able to look female in a picture is the easy part. If any of those 5 elements is grossly out of whack, you're gonna get clocked constantly. "Passing" takes all of those together yes, but by no means requires perfection in all of the above, just hints in each area will usually do.

What Johnny says is also very much the case. I wear my breast forms all the time, more because it helps me be comfortable with myself than anything. Now I am tall and thin, so my forms only give me a B cup, even though I have had several of my girlfriends tell me to go with a C or D because that would be consistant with my waist/hip measurements, but numbers are one thing and the shape between a whole nother. Going with a cup size smaller than I have been told my frame can support allows me the freedom to wear my breast forms even while presenting male and not raise eyebrows. Hmm, not that I seem to be doing much of that lately.

Now to your real question, do they help with passing? Most definately! Are they the difference between passing or not? I couldn't tell you, if you have most of the other elements even half fairly in place, it is a distinct possibility. Since your GT is suggesting it, that would make me think that you being flat chested is somewhat out of place. Therapists usually have good reasons for what they suggest.

Good luck dear,

<3

Elena

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

If blending in is as simple as wearing breast forms....do it......

I sure do, even though I have small "B"s......

Huggs

Dee Jay

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Torixo,

<<<hug >>>

Transition is a series of small steps

Each one that you take wlll help you to become the woman you feel you are

Having breast are very important to all women, and they will surly help you look and feel more feminine

Take your time , and take that step when you are comfortable doing so

vanna

[Guest Torixo]

Thank you guys!!! I really appreciate everyone's thoughts on the topic. I'm happy I can get such good insight & for people to understand I have to be comfortable before making any changes. Thanks everyone :]<33

[Guest xjpopfanx]

Honestly I don't think that breasts are essential for passing as a female. I pass as one everyday without any breasts, padding, a bra, anything! I don't even wear female clothing either. I think it is a lot in how you act in public, some gestures and actions can really make you seem much more feminine. I also have the "gay male" voice and speak away to guys with them having no idea that I'm a guy! Also how is your make up? Softening your facial features can really make a huge difference, and keeping it pretty minimal so it doesn't look like you are trying too hard. I would only wear some light make up but it makes such a huge difference to my face.

Good luck. ^^

[Guest PrincessHikari]

OMG TAYLOR SWIFT <3 I met her at Barnes and Nobles here once. =D I'm sooo jeloouussss XD

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I know in my case, having noticeable breasts has really helped.

..so did not hiding them under big, baggy clothes.

[Guest Tifa_Strife]

I think regardless what males would do the first thing people look at is your face if you have a feminate face then you have a good chance of passing x

[Guest _Guest_]

Many options here:

-stick to your therapist's advice

-wear breast forms

-develop a new hair/makeup style

-take voice training courses