The Life And Times Of Mary Ellen

[MaryEllen]

My Life

I was born a male 69 years ago, the eldest of 5 brothers and sisters in a small town in the northern part of Maine. My mother was of English ancestry while my father was of Indian ancestry. His mother being a full blooded Native American. We lived with my grandmother on a dairy farm that my step uncle owned and operated. World War 2 was on at the time so jobs were scarce and we were living in a state of extreme poverty. What little money we had my father earned as a woodsman and trapper.

I knew at a very early age that something was not right with me. I thought I should have been a girl.

Indeed, I thought I WAS a girl. My mother understood this and used to dress me in dresses. Along with my younger sister, we would play for hours on end as two little girls would do. My father soon put a stop to this. No son of mine is going to grow up as a sissy were his words. I endured many beatings from him in his quest to make me the man that he thought I should be. I tried, Lord knows I tried to conform to what he wanted but deep in the back of my mind I knew that I was a girl and would always be a girl. Not even he could change that. This went on for several years until one day when I was in my early teens he caught me dressed in some of my sisters clothing. I received a severe beating and until I graduated from high school at age 17, my life was a living hell. To this day I am still trying to forget the physical and mental scars he put on me.

I had an extremely unhappy childhood. I was shunned by most of my peers. Mainly because of my Indian blood and that we lived on the wrong side of the tracks, so to speak. What few friends I had barely tolerated me. I spite of all this, I managed to graduate highschool with high honors and immediately inlisted in the service. During this time, still trying to be a man, I married and we were soon the parents of a daughter. After my term was up. We moved back to Maine where I worked at a variety of jobs encluding working in a slate mine, a plywood mill and as a heavy equipment operator in a logging operation for a major paper company.

After our daughter had grown up and gone off to college we had had enough of the bigotry and hatred shown to anyone who was transsexual and moved to Florida. I had always stayed in stealth while living in Maine. To have come out as transsexual could quite possibly have been a death sentence for me. I don't mean to brand the whole state as homo/transphobic. There are many transsexuals and those who are supporting living there but on the whole it is not a state to come out in.

Florida did not work out for us financially so we came back north to Massachusetts. This was back in 1978 and we've been here ever since. I am now retired but work part time as a maintenance person at an apartment complex. My spouse and I are not rich by any means but we do live a comfortable life. We are happy and you could say that we are soulmates. After 50 years of marriage, what else could we be. LOL What with my job, gardening and computer surfing, I manage to keep busy.

There is so much more that I could tell but for now, this is me in a nutshell

[Guest jantonio]

Thanks for sharing your story MaryEllen.

Jose Antonio...

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hey, Mary Ellen...

What an interesting life and you sound satisfied with how the whole thing turned out overall.

But, remember....Someone asked me "Have you lived here your whole life?" and I said "Not yet!"

Girl, I admire you! (give us more...please...please?)

Hugs.

Donna Jean

[MaryEllen]

I like your saying,"Have you lived here your whole life?" and I said "Not yet!" That's really good. There is a lot more to my life than just the few paragraphs that I posted above. Perhaps I shall fill in some of the gaps at a future time.

I had hoped to get the ball rolling so others would tell a little bit about themselves but no takers as of yet.

Thank you both for your kind comments.

MaryEllen

[Guest Christine-Louise]

Hi Mary Ellen,

Thanks for sharing your life with us, I think that we could all probably fill many many pages, I know that I probably could write an awful lot more, My life is on Laura's but not on the forums, and some things have to remain private for obvious reasons, but well done.

[Guest lydia]

Mary Ellen, thank you I am an older gal 60+ and it is good to read that we all have alot in common.Thank you again for sharing. Lydia

[Guest Tommy]

You rock as i think iv told u a 1000000000000000 times before but u do ! my bff even thinks so. (but then again she thinks i rock..... )

(hug

[Guest Katherine Nicole]

I think it's great you didn't let the early part of your life effect the rest of your life. It's unfortunate that we live in a world with such hatred. I think the most important thing in life is finding someone who understands you and accepts what you are. You are definitely lucky.

[Guest mia 1]

I,ve been wondering who you are. I joined the forum about four weeks ago and you were the first one to answer my Intro post. I knew you were well versed and able to compose your thoughts. I saw you were the root administratot and realized that you were a serious person. I am in my 60's and hace lived my life since 15 yrs. as a cross dreser and feared coming out.

With your help and other members I am realizing that a C.D. is not just some quirky,kinky bedroom self erotic person, but a truly transgendered wondrful human being who is blessed to be in touch with both the male and female sides of humanity.

Thanks for sharing your life and also thanks for the photo gallery. You should be so proud of yourself ,,,,Your new friend Mia

P.S. The first time I heard the quote , Have you soent your whole life here? With the answer being No Not Yet, Was from Grace Mettlaius' Peyton Place. A fictional area not far from wherer you grew up..........Again Mia

[Cyndee]

Quite challenging to live in the era you did, knowing what you knew Mary Ellen.

I enjoyed reading your story here this morning.

Have a great day

Cindy -

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Mary Ellen's story is from 2008 - two months before I joined Laura's Playground. I had never seen it before so it was really good tobe able to read it. I too am 1/4 Native American (North Carolina Melungeon and Arkansas mixed Cherokee) as my dad was what they called a 'half-breed' (in the 1950s). My white bread mother married my heathen father. He, like Mary Ellen's father, was determined 'to make me a man.' I guess it didn't work.

My 65th birthday is in a week and I am on Social Security and a small pension. And I am transitioned and have my Life Partner next to me What more could I want?

And like Mary Ellen, I am happy.

I don't think that I hijacked this thread, as it has sat for over three and a half years here. But I do want to say that to me, Mary Ellen 'is' Laura's Playground Forum. Her leadership and devotion to watching the boards, make this the grand-dame of the transgender support site forums.

I know you are past that age you show in the original TOPIC, we all are older now. But you certainly have not showed down, quite the contrary, you have gotten better.

So old gray mares - you and I? And at least twenty or so others about the same age here. What a miracle that we all have found each other - and most importantly, we can all say we are giving life one hell of a run.

Musing on a hot Sunday Morning

Lizzy

[Carolyn Marie]

Like Cynthia and Lizzy, I'd never read this before, and I'm so glad it came around again. MaryEllen, you don't talk much about yourself, not like the rest of us blabber mouths, so your post is very special.

It's no surprise that your story is similar in many ways to all of ours. I think that's what makes this Community so closely knit; the knowledge that we share so many terrible secrets and torments, and also the joys and wonder of being trans. There are to this day secrets in my life that I haven't shared with all the members. Perhaps one day.

Have a great day, ME, and thanks for all the fish.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Risu]

And here it is! The post I've been waiting for and it was here all along!

Mary Ellen, I know I'm a little late but thank you for sharing your story. It is wonderful to know a little more about one of my favorite and most respected Mods here.

And as always, thank you for all of the hard work you do.

*Hugs*

~Jade.

[Guest]

Hi Mary Ellen,

It was good to hear a bit of your history, having only known you as the WWOLP up till now.

Of course, I always praise those who have gone before - clearing the brush, slowly paving the way for those of us who follow.

Thank you, thank you - I certainly couldn't have done this without you.

Oh, and thanks to Cindy, the post-eologist extraordinare who finds these gems!

Love, Megan

[Guest Lacey Lynne]

Like Cynthia and Lizzy, I'd never read this before, and I'm so glad it came around again. MaryEllen, you don't talk much about yourself, not like the rest of us blabber mouths, so your post is very special.

It's no surprise that your story is similar in many ways to all of ours. I think that's what makes this Community so closely knit; the knowledge that we share so many terrible secrets and torments, and also the joys and wonder of being trans. There are to this day secrets in my life that I haven't shared with all the members. Perhaps one day.

Have a great day, ME, and thanks for all the fish.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Mary Ellen:

Wow! Just ... wow! With deep respect and genuine admiration, I kind ask you to forgive me. Sincerely.

More than likely, you DID NOT follow Garry Trudeau's "Doonesbury" comic strip back in the 1970s and 1980s when it really cooked; however, if you had, I believe you'd agree that you are BD to my Zonker Harris! Some analogy, huh? All in good fun, girl!

Leave it to me to be, like, nearly 4 years later to your post, right? Hey, what can I say? Never saw this until today.

Mary Ellen, if it ever came to be, and we were to meet face-to-face and share a nice lunch at a good restaurant, I believe you'd be simply amazed at how much we have in common. Moreover, you'd discover that though on here I seem to be the veritable apotheosis of a hippie in real life I'm nothing of the sort or even remotely close to being such. What' I'm saying is I believe we'd REALLY get along and laugh with warm and wonderful camraderie well into the meal.

So, you grew up working class too? So, you were a really good student too? So, the old man abused you mentally and physically trying to make a man out of you too? So, schoolmates considered you a sissy too? So, you believed you should have been a girl too? So, you worked physically-hard and low-paying jobs too? So, you experienced The Florida Poverty Grinder too? Honey, I could go on and on and on!

Well, I'll quit babbling as is my wont, and simply say that you have the hardest job on this website and do it splendidly well. That you've not given the likes of me The Old Heave-Ho (which you could have done on many an occasion, we'll both agree) bespeaks your fundamental tolerance, decency and kindness.

Laura, Petra and YOU created and maintain THE TRANSGENDERED PLACE to be on the entire worldwide venue which is The Internet. What more need be said? If the people in Sweden would ever consider doing so, I believe they should confer The Nobel Peace Prize upon the three of you! Honestly!

Mary Ellen, Nobel Laureate!

Hey, does THAT have a GREAT ring to it, or what?

Now, I've read Laura's story on the main site; however, I know little of Petra's story. Hmmm ... I'll have to find out about that.

No Keith Richards riffs on THIS post!

Rather, let me simply say:

THANK YOU!

You rock this place! Laura, Petra and you are leaving a TREMENDOUS legacy to gender-variant people as well as cisgendered readers worldwide! THAT, girl, is bigtime!

Peace & Thanks Lacey Lynne

[Guest Deanna]

Thanks for sharing, It is good to hear about like people.

[MaryEllen]

Thank you Lacey and everybody for your kind words. Don't know if I deserve 'em but I try.

MaryEllen

[Charlize]

MaryEllen, I love your story. I was also helped towards being a man by a firm hand. I still dressed but in the hayloft. I also married and 41 years later still love my wife. I worked construction as a laborer on interstate highways and then designed and built homes and additions as a hands on carpenter-builder.

I could qualify as Rosie the Riveter. But thanks in large part to you and the others at Laura's i'm realizing my womanhood all be it a little late. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

Charlie

[Guest Lani]

Like Cynthia and Lizzy, I'd never read this before, and I'm so glad it came around again. MaryEllen, you don't talk much about yourself, not like the rest of us blabber mouths, so your post is very special.

It's no surprise that your story is similar in many ways to all of ours. I think that's what makes this Community so closely knit; the knowledge that we share so many terrible secrets and torments, and also the joys and wonder of being trans. There are to this day secrets in my life that I haven't shared with all the members. Perhaps one day.

Have a great day, ME, and thanks for all the fish.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Mary Ellen:

Wow! Just ... wow! With deep respect and genuine admiration, I kind ask you to forgive me. Sincerely.

More than likely, you DID NOT follow Garry Trudeau's "Doonesbury" comic strip back in the 1970s and 1980s when it really cooked; however, if you had, I believe you'd agree that you are BD to my Zonker Harris! Some analogy, huh? All in good fun, girl!

Leave it to me to be, like, nearly 4 years later to your post, right? Hey, what can I say? Never saw this until today.

Mary Ellen, if it ever came to be, and we were to meet face-to-face and share a nice lunch at a good restaurant, I believe you'd be simply amazed at how much we have in common. Moreover, you'd discover that though on here I seem to be the veritable apotheosis of a hippie in real life I'm nothing of the sort or even remotely close to being such. What' I'm saying is I believe we'd REALLY get along and laugh with warm and wonderful camraderie well into the meal.

So, you grew up working class too? So, you were a really good student too? So, the old man abused you mentally and physically trying to make a man out of you too? So, schoolmates considered you a sissy too? So, you believed you should have been a girl too? So, you worked physically-hard and low-paying jobs too? So, you experienced The Florida Poverty Grinder too? Honey, I could go on and on and on!

Well, I'll quit babbling as is my wont, and simply say that you have the hardest job on this website and do it splendidly well. That you've not given the likes of me The Old Heave-Ho (which you could have done on many an occasion, we'll both agree) bespeaks your fundamental tolerance, decency and kindness.

Laura, Petra and YOU created and maintain THE TRANSGENDERED PLACE to be on the entire worldwide venue which is The Internet. What more need be said? If the people in Sweden would ever consider doing so, I believe they should confer The Nobel Peace Prize upon the three of you! Honestly!

Mary Ellen, Nobel Laureate!

Hey, does THAT have a GREAT ring to it, or what?

Now, I've read Laura's story on the main site; however, I know little of Petra's story. Hmmm ... I'll have to find out about that.

No Keith Richards riffs on THIS post!

Rather, let me simply say:

THANK YOU!

You rock this place! Laura, Petra and you are leaving a TREMENDOUS legacy to gender-variant people as well as cisgendered readers worldwide! THAT, girl, is bigtime!

Peace & Thanks Lacey Lynne

Alrighty, I got some things to say..

Lacey, you don't seem like a "hippie" to me, You just seem like LACEY to me!! Good old" Lacey..

Also, Lacey is right.. You do have a hard job & you do it extremely well!!! You got a lot of tolerance also, which is good.. There has been multiple times you could of just threw me off the website but you have not, which by the way, I thank you for.. You are the best at your job..

[Guest Ney'ite]

Thank you, Cindy, for reviving this 2008 post! This is the first I have seen this - so, cool!

MaryEllen - wow - I did not know you originally hailed from my State, so that I find really, well, cool! Hee hee! I enjoy learning about people's lives such as this as it helps me to understand why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do. While we all share a common journey, we are all so very unique as well! I have some friends who were born "up in the County," a place I don't think you can "get there from here, ayuh." Hehe -

Hehe - Maine. A lot has changed here, and has now been listed as one of the most tolerant LGBT States in the Country, BUT in the Central/Southern part (where I live). The further North you traverse from the Portland area, I find the less and less tolerant it gets, with Augusta being kinda the upper limit in my personal experience. A les couple came to stay with us back in January (2012) and we all wandered around Portland's Old Port and they felt super comfortable and accepted walking around arm-in-arm - nobody paid any attention.

And congratulations on 50, well, let's see, 4 years later, so 54 years of marriage!

[KathrynJulia]

Thank you Mary Ellen and Cindy for reviving your story. I've always love people and hearing about their lives. Their trials and tribulations, the good and the not so good. And thank you for just being you. For just being the best woman you can be so that the rest of us have a benchmark to strive for. Kathryn

[Michelle 2010]

What a Gem to find this Bio here this afternoon. The life and times of Growing Up Trans.... Hopefully, in another decade trans kids won't have to deal with what you experienced. Guess my not having a daddy wasn't the worse thing to befall a youngster, huh? Thanks for doing what you do ME.

Michelle

[JJ]

I treasured reading this, now i know where you got that amazing strength and wisdom

The only part I found hard to believe was the age, but then I suspect being trans keeps us young. Forget suspect-I know it does!

Thank you ME for all the time and love you put into keeping laura's the special and safe place it is,

Hugs

Johnny

[Guest Lani]

Thanks ME!!

[Guest angels wings]

Wow this is like digging to find tresure but found something precious that is priceless ,ur amazing Mary . Happy 54 years what an inspiration you are your journey has been hard but you have made it work for you and your family . Amazing strength