Out At School?

[Guest KaseyFox]

Hi guys.

I was wondering if any of you were out at school and/or work as your male identity as opposed to the biological one. I emailed my professors the other day to tell them to cross the name displayed on their attendance sheet to read "Kasey" instead. (also to use male pronouns).

What's it like? Heck, what bathrooms do you use? I'm having anxiety over all this and just don't know how to go about things, i guess.

Any other thoughts/insights?

Good luck for everyone going back to school.

Regards,

Kasey

[Guest harvester52]

When I was in school, I was out and I just used the nurse's/disabled bathrooms. It was nice being out and all my teachers called me BC. It made school far less frustrating.

[Guest Jackson]

My whole problem was that I had this whole timeline set out and now it's changing. The wardrobe change was going to happen subtly. The name change was going to happen in October or November.

I'm kind of in the middle of the whole changing things at work right now. Everyone in my department knows and only a few other people outside the department know. I will be talking to a few other people at work about it this week and next. Now I don't know where my timeline is. Now I'm actually thinking about talking to HR and my boss to see if I ought to just shift over to my new name now instead of later. But there are issues with it too. I've not legally changed my name yet. The other issue is that I use several computer systems and that would mean that the IT department has to change over all my logins. I don't know if I can do that now or if I have to wait until my name change has be legalized. And then because I have federal and state licensure to deal with, I need to change my name on my professional license too. I don't have to worry about bathrooms since employee bathrooms are all unisex. Only public bathrooms are marked.

My personal life is more difficult. I'm dressing male and waiting for the voice to change. So I'm kind of in that gender limbo when dealing with people. A waiter thought I was male and then later apologized. My voice is what gives me away and I've a lower tenor voice to begin with. I'm stuck now at which bathrooms do I use when not at work. I've no idea.

I'm hoping my therapist will have good advice on this one.

Jack

[Guest harvester52]

When I was working, they allowed me to put "BC" on my nametag, and my boss was sorry that she didn't put "BC" into the computer, because she did it before I was out to her. She said that in order to change it in the computer, she would have to have a legal name change paper, since she didn't put BC in there in the first place. That's just my experience with it.

[Guest Cal]

My freshman year in HS I used the guy's locker room for PE. My friend's thought it was funny as hell and everyone else just thought I was a guy. When the lesbian PE teachers noticed they were all "RIGHT ON, MORE POWER TO YOU" and everything. Then one of the male PE teachers realized and got really awkward. He told the vice principal and I had to go to her office and talk about it. Luckily the vice principal was really chill and laid back and didn't really seem to think it was a big deal. She said most of the people concerned had been concerned for "my safety." I was like bro I've got half the wrestling team who think it's tight I use the guy's locker room - no one is going to mess with me.

Here only Freshmen have to take PE, so I didn't deal with that problem again. I didn't start going by my new name and really hating being called by female pronouns til after I left school, in November of last year. At work they called me she and my old name, which was pretty uncomfortable for me. I quit that job last winter, and my current job I'm completely stealth and my name is legally changed, so I haven't had to deal with being "out" or..."in"?

I plan on being steath around people I meet from now on, and "out" (though I never really...came out. I just kind of asked my friends if they would please having intercourse stop calling me she because I hate it, and changed my name) with people who I knew before.

[Guest CharlieRose]

I only discovered I was trans when I was a junior in high school... I wasn't completely sure until the spring of that year... 40% or so of the people I go to class with know me as a girl, a girl who used to have hair almost to her waist 'cuz I was in denial sophomore year. I'm a senior now; I'd like to come out to them, and I doubt anyone'd have a huge problem with it, but my mom and therapist are afraid I'll be mistreated. I've been trying to get my friends to call me Daniel and use male pronouns and stuff, but, I dunno, my friends aren't great friends and we don't really talk about feelings that much, so it's hard for me to explain how much it means to me and how to go about it. They're like, "But other people don't know! What if we call you Daniel and they ask why we called you a boy's name?" And I'm like, "It's not that big an issue, we'll deal with it then, just friggin' call me Daniel!"

[Guest Huff]

If you're in college, just use the bathroom you feel is appropriate. Just don't switch back and forth... that could confuse and/or horrify anyone that notices. Until you get your name legally changed and give all that paperwork to the college's registrar, you'll have to let each of your profs know what to call you and which pronouns to use. It takes a bit of courage, but once you do those two things, the world will deal with you as male before your mind really has a chance to catch up. It's kind of a cool experience that is made possible by the fact that your always surrounded by new/unfamiliar people in college.

Good luck!

MK

[Guest sphere]

I'm not really out at school (but I am to several people) since I'm still sort of unsure about it, but half of the people that are in my classes think I'm a cis-guy (even one of my teachers), which is really cool, but everyone else who knows I'm really biologically female never cease to bring me down. Especially in PE.

As for bathrooms, I was dreading over that issue, but what I do is just not drink a lot of fluid and not eat a whole lot, and so far I've never used the bathroom at my school this year.

I guess the best you can do is just... not force yourself to be a guy, or a girl, but just you. Just sort of keeping that in mind helps a lot, just knowing that you yourself are a guy and there's more to you than your gender identity.

[Guest Tabe]

In high school, I just lived as a female. I could take it for the time.

Now that I'm in college (a very trans-friendly one, I might add), things are great. I'm on the "gay floor", which has a gender-neutral bathroom (problem 1 solved). Also, you can list your preferred name in the class sign-up website, which is the name that the professors will get on the roster. (and that fixes #2) So although my name isn't legally changed yet, they all refer to me by my male name and male pronouns.

Actually, only my RA, previous roommate, and the one kid I knew from high school actually know my legal name. And only the kids on my floor know that I'm trans. This is like a dream come true, and I'm loving every minute of it.

[Guest raydub]

Tabe.. that's a pretty awesome situation you got goin there at school.. What school do you go to (if you dont mind me asking).. if you dont feel comfortable disclosing here.. PM me?

thanks dude.

Raymond

[Guest Cal]

As for bathrooms, I was dreading over that issue, but what I do is just not drink a lot of fluid and not eat a whole lot, and so far I've never used the bathroom at my school this year.

I'm pretty sure everyone can relate to this. Almost my entire life I didn't drink anything at school so I wouldn't have to pee. I NEVER used the girl's bathroom in highschool. Not even once. I used the guy's bathroom a few times with friends who thought it was funny. I also used to excuse myself from class and go all the way across the street to Burger King to use the unisex bathroom there.

In middle school, even though I went to a small school and everyone knew me as the "lesbian crossdresser," I felt awkward and weird going into the girl's bathroom. I remember once there were a few gay guys in the girl's room helping girls with their makeup before a play - and I felt like I belonged less than they did in the girls room.

[Guest Seth]

I'M OUT AT SCHOOL!