Bathroom confrontations?

[Guest Karen K]

My personal experiences have covered only a few instances when I used the ladies room. I have never been stopped or questioned or had curious glances. The first time occurred when I was early for an appointment with my G.T.. I went to a Joe's Crab Shak near the office for a quick bite and after ordering I got up and went to the ladies room. It was a slow time for them, no one was inside and no one came in while I was there. BTW the greeter and waiter both ma'amed meduring my lunch.

The next occurrence was at a college football game. My Alma Mater was playing our big rivals and I bought a ticket to go, the perfect opportunity for a day out. When I arrived, I bought a team t-shirt, I went into the ladies room, found a stall, did my business, changed shirts, and out I went just smiling as I washed and dried my hands. During half time, I, along with every female in the stadium had to go. Great experience waiting in line! when I actually got into the ladies room, a girl was directing others to open stalls! This was fun and confirming! I got few looks but nothing untoward.

I think that a lot has to do with attitude. A youtube t-girl I track said, "Walk with purpose, keep your head up and act like you don't give a sh*t!" I also smile whenever other ladies look at me. Interstingly enough, the last occassion I used a public ladies room, the woman in the stall next to me asked if I could pass her some TP, as she didn't want to "drip dry"!

As a guy, in-out: no fuss, no muss, etc. Good luck to all.

By the by: I am no means a beauty. In case you were under that impression with my successful restroom junkettes. I am quickly approach fifty and have been on HRT for14 months. At 5'11" and 185lbs, I'm hard to miss, more so since I love heels! So basically it is attitude. Act like that is where you belong and people will believe it, if they take any notice at all.

Laura Jane

[Guest Merc]

I'd say that conversations take place in mens rooms more often than not(assuming two or more men know eachother already).

But I did some experimenting with socializing in mens rooms(in guy format long ago).

Situation 1:

I walked in a large mall bathroom, fairly elegant and maintained. It was near empty, except 2 men talking about a recently lost girlfriend. One was in a distant urinal conversing, the other on a row of sinks. I skipped a sink to the right of the man washing his hands(every-other rule in the mens room!), and coyly replied, "Dude. Just get another one. Best remedy.." I wisely looked back at myself in the mirror and I secretly glanced over. The two men who were performing "tasks" at the time briefly looked over at me, then nodded their heads and continued talking.

Situation 2:

I was already in a small bathroom with stalls. I walked out of the stall as 2 men came into the unkempt bathroom. Again, washing my hands, I previously remembered hearing that Cincinnati won something in sports(I don't follow sports), and it was very popular discussion at the time. So I pitched in to their sports related conversation, "Cincinnati won. Good stuff." I did that while walking out. They didn't give it a second glance.

So YES, you actually can make stranger-conversation in mens rooms. Just do it like you're a guy. I'm not even a guy in my head so...

~Emily

[Michelle 2010]

Resurrecting this two year old thread..........................

I've been dining and shopping this year in ways I hadn't in the past. I'm still pretty nervous about women's rooms with three or more stalls. There are restaurants i would probably avoid if I think they have large restrooms.... I am quite comfy everywhere else when out on the town: dining shopping museums etc.

any thoughts and experiences would be appreciated

Michelle

[Guest]

Hi Michelle,

In two years of women's restrooms, I've never had even an eyebrow raised. I've stood in line with women in airports, interstate rest stops and malls.

Yeah, yeah - it's Seattle and every other person is trans - - not really. I'm rarely in the city, and have never blanched in the most conservative areas of our state or the cross-country junkets that I've been on.

My rule is to mind my own business, be extra mindful of my feminine presentation, and to be friendly when other women are. It helps to be on diuretics and be postop - cause when I gotta go, there's no time to waste considering my options!

Love, Megan

[Ravin]

I actually have the opposite problem. I haven't started using the men's room, and occasionally startle women as I leave and they're entering.

I seek out out of the way or single stall/unisex restrooms as much as possible.

[Guest]

I actually have the opposite problem. I haven't started using the men's room, and occasionally startle women as I leave and they're entering.

I seek out out of the way or single stall/unisex restrooms as much as possible.

Hi Ravin,

That was my last experience in the other restroom - confusing some poor man who kept looking at the urinals, and then me. He finally darted past me and did his business. I felt sorry for him. Maybe it's time for you to make the switch too?

Love, Megan

[Guest Jaques]

before I transitioned, and didn't pass, my friend (another f2m) and I both were asked to leave a club because we used the gents and they'd had complaints so we left quietly - I understood the problem - men felt uncomfortable because we looked female! I don't do confrontation. Now I pass all the time, so problem, I don't STP because I find the contraptions too uncomfortable and have never had any comments since...........

[Guest DianeATL]

I think you have your answers, I think that a FtM is less likely to hit any roadblocks in the bathroom than a MtF, most men just wouldn't be threatened or upset if a woman came in to use their space. I have had women in bars skip the ladies room line and come in the men's room with no issues at all. When in France I had a woman mopping the floor around my feet at the urinal and nobody cared that she was in there.

I will point out one further piece of urinal etiquette that I don't think has been covered yet. Never use one next to an occupied one if there is an option to leave a space. In other words if there are 3 and #1 is occupied, use #3 not #2. And look up or straight down, never left or right.

I will be happy not to have to use them in the future. The worst are the ones at stadiums or some bars where they just have a long trough that you line up at like cattle at the feeding time. The river of mixed urine is ultra disgusting.

Diane

[Charlize]

I have never had a problem in a ladies room. Perhaps because of that i have lots of confidence now. That may turn and bite me someday but hasn't yet. I chat when appropriate and have actually had an interesting conversations in the ladies at a campsite i was staying at this last weekend. I may be a peculiar looking woman but i am a woman. Not all of us are even close to the ideal of beauty held by society. The stalls hide everything necessary and i can linger at the sink or not depending on my mood and the circumstances.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Re-reading my post at the top of the page brought back some memories but it also made me realize "wow, I haven't used a men's room in like..almost 2 years now." I'm sure nothing's changed. I've learned to hover, and it's probably easier since I'm pre-op. I found larger bathrooms less uncomfortable. With a small 2 or 3 stall bathroom, most likely they're all being used so you have to stand there and wait, and then flash a polite smile to the lady leaving the stall. I've even had to yell once because a janitor wanted to clean the bathroom at a truck stop and wanted to know if anyone was inside before he came in. I hope I yelled like a woman, lol. I guess I did because he apologized and closed the door.

[VickySGV]

My only problem was in a family restaurant where my oldest daughter had been calling me DAD at the table, and the woman from the booth behind me had her 4 year old son with her going into the Womens room. The problem was in my head though, they never looked at me, the kid was having a "gotta go real bad" tantrum.

[Guest chibi_usa]

Ummmm... I was at the mall and there were some kids that looked at me and giggled... Not sure if I was being paranoid or they knew. Kinda made me insecure. Especially because I know lil kids can be extremely honest and blunt. (Which I still like) Lol!

[Guest Jenn348]

I haven't had any issues since going FT. I pass well, though.

[tracy_j]

In recent years I have noticed on several occasions over here women using men's public toilets - probably because of no convenient women's facillities. They are usually into a cubicle and then straight out as you might imagine. As people have posted previously the reaction of this from men is to just ignore. I did notice on one occasion an attendant getting upset about it (on a rare occasion of an attendant being present). I am perhaps slightly surprised at times but not concerned.

From this I would suggest as mentioned in experiences earlier that it is not something to worry about for FTM at least. Women would be more concerned (in case of MTF), but it is more private there although I can understand as men do not chat the same (as much) as women.

[Guest Melissa~]

During my male-fail period I had some women follow me into the men's room. It made them do about a triple take as they figured out what they had done. It's always been my impression that potential for conflict goes up exponentially as age goes down. It's for that reason that to this day I avoid any restroom loaded with teens.

To date I have never had a gender related bathroom conflict(mtf mileage of course). About five years ago I had a conflict with a teen taking pictures in the mens room and carelessly including me in the frame.