Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Restrooms....when Nature Calls.


Guest Becky Lynn

Recommended Posts

Guest Becky Lynn

Hi!, B)

What do you do when your out and about dressed up and lookin good, and nature calls and you gotta go no matter what? Which restroom should you use? I'll be honest, I very descreetly duck into the ladies room. I'm no pervert and that's not why I dress up, but I think walking into a men's room in a dress just screams "Hey look at me I'm a crossdresser!" I know if caught it could mean some serious and very embarresing trouble, but I think if you look good enough and the restroom isn't occupied nobody's going to question you. Am I out of line thinking like this? What do you do in this situation?

OXOXOX,

Becky Lynn :)

Link to comment
Guest joeytheman16

I agree since I am pretty much full time everywhere but school I use the men's room. I've had people when I used the women's restroom leave to check the sign then come in and gimme dirty looks. So I completely agree with you Becky.

---Joey

Link to comment

Hi,

the sign on the door says it all. If you are out in a dress, use the door with the dress on it.

For people who can not look into you, you look like a girl. If you are not passing good, you look like a strange girl but still girl. The act of using woman restrooms make an underline to you that you are a woman. But if you use a restroom for man with a dress, you say to the world that you are a crossdresser as you discribe it.

By the way, why it is so important that the restrooms are divided by gender? Only male restrooms with the standing urinating device (found no english word for it) are different. But in all cases you will never see the other people sexual organce. So why is it so important?

Greetings

Nelly

P.S.: The sign itself is confusing. Just imagine a guy from Saudi Arabia come first time to your country and see the sign of the ladies restroom.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Evan_J
I've had people when I used the women's restroom leave to check the sign then come in and gimme dirty looks.

'Tis a time honored FtM rite of passage lol

Link to comment

I never use the men's restrooms nowadays... not only would I look completely out of place, I'd also be putting myself at risk. And I refuse to use disabled toilets out of principle. Being transgendered isn't a disability.

Link to comment
Guest Priscilla
I never use the men's restrooms nowadays... not only would I look completely out of place, I'd also be putting myself at risk. And I refuse to use disabled toilets out of principle. Being transgendered isn't a disability.

I am not transgendered; I only crossdress I use the disabled toilet not because I consider CDing a disability but because the facility is gender-neutral.

Link to comment
Guest Keiichi-kun

I think it's a good idea that you use the women's restroom. Using the men's would only cause confusion and may even put you in danger. If you can walk around and have people think you are a woman then you can go to the bathroom and have people think you are a woman. It's not they can see anything anyways since most to all restrooms have stalls ;)

Link to comment

I don't go out very often and I don't have the nerve to use the Womens rest rooms so when the urge hits me I hot foot it back to the car which is usually parked far from any activity or traffic and use a plastic bottle to take care of things. Not the greatest or most ladylike solution but it works for me.

Vieja :blush:

Link to comment
Guest silverpetals

as i see it, disabled toilets are provided for people for whom no other toilets are available, with priority to people with disabilities.

i'm not at all sure about how (or if?) it works legally, but i think that a person with a disability that doesn't lessen the ease with which they could use the other loos, would be able to use the non-disabled toilets; conversely, a person without a disability for whom using the other toilets might pose a problem, may use the disabled loos. and i suppose they're open to everyone if all of the other toilets are flooded or something...

for those of us who feel that because of 'passing' problems or any others, using either gendered loos might be unsafe, the disabled toilets are a valid, though not ideal option.

a lot of people can't accept people for the gender identity (as opposed to assigned gender) that they are, and wouldn't think twice about causing trouble and pain. so in some situations if you feel threatened, disabled may be the safest choice.

"but i am a girl" just doesn't register in some people's eyes; they'll avert their eyes from everything that matters to you, and only focus on the one thing which matters to them...

Link to comment
Guest julia_d

I use whichever seems to fit the venue and my sense of safety. If anybody challenges me I dig out my ID and that solves the problem with the staff at any rate.

I use the ladies because I pass pretty well most of the time.. and Gosh darned.. There are more ugly women out there than me. Maybe I should reasses the places I go.. But I like the independent old style clubs run by the Irish Democratic League. Mixed bunch of old timers who really don't seem bothered by much. A male friend made the comment once that "it's like gorillas in the mist in here" at a womens darts match ;)

Use whichever you feel confident with. I am always very wary in strange places. Not being a person who runs away I have had the living **** kicked out of me in a few mensrooms over the years.. It seemed like the safer option with how I was dressed. Just goes to show. It wasn't because I'm trans, but because the thugs thought I was gay.

Over time you learn to read the atmosphere. If you have ID in your.. errr.. whatever.. then use the facilities in strange places based on that.. unless it would cause difficulties. Everybody looks different.. My sister usually passes as male unless she wears a dress. we must have got mixed up somewhere down the line.

I like the visual image of hopping back to the car. I don't have a car and the back streets around here are very uninviting. XD

Link to comment
  • 5 years later...
Guest joan eden

I use the womens if I have to.Get in get out.Have a plastic bottle in my car just in case.Act like you belong and move like it. You have to be some what of an actor to be a CD I think.

Link to comment
Guest AshleighP

Often wnodered this myself, but as I don't get to go out often, it has never been an issue. Hope to be able to go out more and this advice is very useful. Thanks all for taking the time to share.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 115 Guests (See full list)

    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • April Marie
    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,128
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Alisa Anne
    Newest Member
    Alisa Anne
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. cigsandsaints
      cigsandsaints
      (30 years old)
    2. cygnusKP
      cygnusKP
      (47 years old)
    3. Georgina
      Georgina
      (46 years old)
    4. MaK30
      MaK30
      (31 years old)
    5. Mandymike
      Mandymike
      (54 years old)
  • Posts

    • Vidanjali
      If I take time to type something up which I find personally important or impactful, I will first type it on a Word document or on the notes app on my phone and save it before sharing it online if the intention of the writing was to be shared in that way. Indeed, it is extremely frustrating for that sort of work to vanish when it was an emotional experience to have recounted and written it. But if it does happen, my advice would be to try to focus on having had the personal catharsis of transforming the thoughts into words. Even if the writing has vanished, your intention was acted out. You cannot control the results, whether it disappeared or not. So we can try our best to focus on gratitude for having been able to express what was expressed in the way it was expressed, rather than disappointment over it not bearing the fruit we expected it to. From a higher point of view, all things of this world are non-permanent. So when something like that happens, at best we can view it as an opportunity to practice mitigating grief over non-permanence of all things. All this is easily said - I acknowledge it is challenging. But without challenge, we do not grow.   As far as freedom of speech is concerned, my view is that implicit in freedom of speech is duty in exercising that freedom responsibly. That means applying ethics to speech. One may ask, "whose ethics?" which is a valid question. The answer is, your ethics. If you wish to participate in a community with a specific code of rules or ethics, it is up to you to use your art and skill to express yourself within that framework. Of course in certain contexts it becomes imperative to speak up, breaking the rules - blowing whistles as it were. But that likewise should be done skillfully as much as possible. If one feels unduly constrained within a community ethical framework, one may also exercise their freedom to not participate in that community. It is a balance, like anything else in life. There is no ethical framework which is ideal because this is not an ideal world. So, tldr; do your best and make good decisions.
    • Jani
      As a private platform the owner can limit what is said on this space.   I'm sure someone with more authority and/or insight into this issue will chime in. Jani   “A few narrow categories of speech are not protected from government restrictions. The main such categories are incitement, defamation, fraud, obscenity, child pornography, fighting words, and threats. As the Supreme Court held in Brandenburg v. Ohio (1969)   The Freedom of Speech is one of the most essential tenants of American democracy, yet that right is not absolute. The First Amendment prohibits States from passing laws that “abridge the Freedom of Speech.” Thus, because Platforms are private businesses, individuals cannot use the First Amendment to pursue recourse against censorship on a private platform.”
    • Ivy
      I've heard of this being done.  It seems like a good idea, I mean the gas is already there.  I don't see why it couldn't be done on a larger scale.  The technology already exists.  I expect the problem would be coordinating it all, and who does that.  We're all so determined to protect our own turf, myself included.
    • Willow
      Good morning   my body and my mind kept waking me up saying hey aren’t you supposed to be getting up now since about 4am. I finally got up at 8:20 to get ready for my 10am shift.  I guess your wake up system gets into a habit and doesn’t like change.off tomorrow, then work Memorial day.    We got rain and a bit of thunder last night. Nothing too bad, unlike the poor people in the Midwest. They are really getting hammered with tornadoes this spring.  I suppose we’ll get ours later on.  It’s supposed to be a bad hurricane season and we haven’t had a really bad one in quite a few years.  The worst I’ve seen was a Cat 3 when the eye went right over us.     I stayed and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be but a 5? Now that’s another story.  I really don’t know how these condos will hold up to a bad hurricane.  Yes there is bracing throughout but how well was any of it installed?  Only the tradesmen plumbing electricians finish craftsmen spoke English the rest were all Hispanic and different emigrants worked together on different parts of the buildings.  One group did the framing and sheathing another different crew the roof, another the windows and so on.  Each building is 4 stories 18 units.  On the bottom we have four units with double walls but the top two are 5 each and no double walls.    @Mirrabooka I didn’t see many Reds, Roos or grasshoppers when I was in Australia.  I was mostly in Tasmania where they are mostly Wallabies.  My wife got to hold a young Tazzy Devil and a Koala Bear and I’ve held a wombat.  An emu got the best of my wife stealing all the food she had.   time to get ready for my day   Willow      
    • Birdie
    • Mirrabooka
      I yam wot I yam! Yeah!
    • Ladypcnj
      As we know online rules are usually created by a team of people, basically the guideline rules are to keep everything running smoothly, and everyone is treated equally, and most importantly the code of conduct to make sure no rules are broken. My concern is, what happens when the online community rules (in general speaking) can have an impact on the freedom of speech? Perhaps it might had been artificial intelligence, that took down a post I made on the internet, somewhere else. I know I haven't broken any rules, I was sharing a true story experience I had about online safety, so it doesn't happen to anyone else.. then the post was taken down. I felt to frustrate the time and energy I've spent typing out my experience what happened to me, and then poof it was gone  lol  What can I do about this? lol
    • Mirrabooka
      @Heather Shay you keep opening these cans of worms!!! 😄   I'm not a musician; I've barely strummed a guitar ever, but I LOVE music.    As far as influential voices go, I invite you to consider these homegrown guys, who continue to give me earworms. I hope that you listen to and can appreciate them:   Jimmy Barnes   Daryl Braithwaite   Very best: John Farnham  
    • Lydia_R
      I've listened to this song an excessive amount of times.  I always play this when I power up a new music studio which is basically what I have going on today.
    • Lydia_R
      I tend to think of most energy politics from the demand side.  It's boring to think of just the "usefulness" of food, clothing and shelter, but outside of things like this that are so basic, we are very wasteful in the pursuit of things that are not necessary.   I tend to go through phases in life every few years where I just become meditative.  You know, it's a fine thing trying to capture this methane in the landfill, but the NET gain from it must be pretty small.  There must be a massive amount of propane that is just burned in the refining of oil.  At least that is what I understand from what I've read and processed from information on the internet.  I've been thinking about how gas tanks in cars have become pressurized over the last few decades.  It probably has something to do with ethanol, right?  I had this crazy idea last year that ethanol might be made from corn cobs.  They have to do something with them.   The problem with addressing things on the demand side is the old "buy American" failure of sorts.  I think the truth is more complicated than simply calling it a failure.  The idea of a world factory with parts produced in a central location making manufacturing more practical seems reasonable.  Reducing demand for energy is a fine idea, but is there some similar logistical problem with it?  My feeling is that it would probably work with some coordination.  We did survive without all this industrialization before.  I think the most exciting part is using mountain bikes instead of horses.  @awkward-yet-sweetand I got into a thread that exposed that idea.  Oh my, I'm laughing again.  It's such a cool idea!!  Bikes are wonderful as long as they are stored indoors.
    • Vidanjali
      Thanks, @Davie. I signed up. I've been a Miami Heat fan for years which already makes me love D & all the Wade family. But beyond athleticism, they are such good and inspiring people doing good and having a positive effect on culture. Bless them and their ventures.   Here's Zaya's instagram account if you want to see some of her gorgeous modeling. You do not need an instagram account to view. https://www.instagram.com/zayawade/  
    • Mirrabooka
      Featured on a local TV station lately is an ad for The Animals, touring for the last time apparently, who are appearing locally! This band was huge back in the day. I don't possess any of their music, but it is very familiar to me. To me, they are a cross between the Stones and the Doors.          
    • Lydia_R
      Getting back into a normal groove here in my new reality.  Got up at about 3:20am.  Had a cup of coldish coffee leftover from last night.  Posted the rest of my bike parts that I need to pass on.  Did some of my daily writing.  Checked in with my best friend.   I'm moving, so I've been working hard on getting everything out of my house and cleaning up.  Things are progressing quickly and I have this idea of having an extended meditation session in my empty house for a month or two.  I'm not sure if I can slow down that much mentally, but I'll give it a try!
    • Mirrabooka
      ❤️   I'm a 2-minute walk from the edge of my town. From there I can stare at paddocks infested with 'grasshoppers' (kangaroos to you!)   But yes, being close to nature is its own reward. 🙂 
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   The puppy has been walked, fed and watered. Coffee is brewing, I’m watching the news, while the cats are taking in the smells a sounds of the back yard, since the back door is open.    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...